theodandel
confused
- Feb 14, 2023
- 14
Early march I finally got the last pieces of SN method, aka Metoclor. It's pain in the a** to acquire in my country, even though I already knew where to buy it, buying online is a no, because I live with other persons that's always go through my belonging, and the places that sells it offline (Dr BM) is kinda far away from where I live and I rarely have the times for travel. Last week the opportunity came, so I bought it.
I was planning to use next month, because I want to go on self destruction/hedon journey first. Spent all my money, enjoy all the things I wanted to do but couldn't. I couldn't go for that straight away, because some of my document is still on my hometown and I only have the chance to take it is next month. So, I still went to hospital (as a student) and doing all my daily routines.
But damn, after everything is ready, I feel this weird feeling of excitement and freedom. Last time I have these feeling must be when I was a teen (14-15) and I am an adult now (25 this year). My daily routines don't bore me anymore, I can listen to my teacher/doctor without stressed out. In last few days I even consider the possibility of striving for my dream again.
Is this the effect of having a way out? even if something in near future fu*k me up again like usual, I have a way out ready and available for me to use. I wish I push myself to bought antiemetic sooner.
So yeah, guess I am going to see how things going to work out for next few weeks.
I was planning to use next month, because I want to go on self destruction/hedon journey first. Spent all my money, enjoy all the things I wanted to do but couldn't. I couldn't go for that straight away, because some of my document is still on my hometown and I only have the chance to take it is next month. So, I still went to hospital (as a student) and doing all my daily routines.
But damn, after everything is ready, I feel this weird feeling of excitement and freedom. Last time I have these feeling must be when I was a teen (14-15) and I am an adult now (25 this year). My daily routines don't bore me anymore, I can listen to my teacher/doctor without stressed out. In last few days I even consider the possibility of striving for my dream again.
Is this the effect of having a way out? even if something in near future fu*k me up again like usual, I have a way out ready and available for me to use. I wish I push myself to bought antiemetic sooner.
So yeah, guess I am going to see how things going to work out for next few weeks.
