fear

[chronicdissosiation]

im afraid of not following through with my suicide. i understand i have so much ahead of me and that im salvageable but i dont think i care enough for anything…which is partially why i want to ctb. ive heard all the scare tactics about partial suspension. id get turned into a vegetable or get severe brain damage and it does cause fear in me. if i hate my life now, how could i even handle that? i got so close to losing consciousness yesterday whilst trying to practice my method. i wasnt afraid and i could barely muster up any strength to pull myself out of it. each time before this i would back down and i would berate myself for it. the feeling while i was slowly losing consciousness wasnt unpleasant…but i cant shake this feeling of fear out of me. i dont want to back down…its so confusing for me.

 

[FuneralCry]

Trying to die going wrong is also what I fear, I find it so cruel and terrible how there isn't the option to just die painlessly without such risks. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[SoulWhisperer]

My situation is not so different from the one described above. I share your feelings however I didn't find the courage to try anything so far, I sort of envy you in that aspect. Most methods have more or less evident risks, unavoidably. However what can be avoided is the the likelihood of it happening by being careful. Like funeralcry said above, I wish you the best. (Sorry if this didn't help ;( )