Fear of being forced to deal with natural death

[Fall_Apart]

I spent most of my life planning my CTB, but right now I am starting to fear being forced to die by natural causes because there is a possibility that I cannot find the strength to do it myself (because of my SI). This would be the most terrible scenario because I always thought I had to avoid it anyway.
Maybe it's just paranoia, but I'm realizing that there's no easy way out, and this fact makes me feel much worse. Any thoughts on this feeling? Thanks

*be patient but I'm not an English native speaker"

 

[Aprilfarewell4]

I have the opposite problem. I wish I could have died naturally but I have to kill myself. It's really tragic actually I don't like to talk about the details because it is such a stupid f****** mistake and tragedy. Anyway have no SI. It's difficult to explain. I didn't want to die but I have to and that's been hard and why I'm not totally dead yet, although I died a long time ago, anything that resembled a life, I just mean finishing it. Never saw this coming or being my end.

 

[StalkedByDeath]

I hate the idea of dying naturally. The reality of dying naturally is that there's a good chance you'll be in a lot of physical pain, whether it's a car accident, a fire, heart attack, whatever. In taking your own life you have control over the amount of pain you'll be subjected to in your final moments. That's the biggest thing for me; I don't want to experience extreme physical pain, and in dying naturally there's a good chance I would.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you'd fear that, I really wish there's the option to just fall asleep for all eternity, I find it cruel how it's so difficult for one to die on their own terms.

 

[crystal_meth97]

I can relate. I want to be in control of my own death and to be able to CTB when I desire. I wouldn't like to have a natural death because it will most likely involve years, maybe decades of having to struggle with physical ailments and being overall miserable. I fear physical degradation and the health issues that come with aging, I really don't want to experience that. I would like to CTB while I'm in control of my body to prevent ending up in a helpless position.

 

[Fall_Apart]

I understand why you would fear that, I really wish there was the option to fall asleep for all eternity, I find it cruel how it is so difficult for one to die on one's own terms.

Exactly, and then I don't understand why most people don't realize how much suffering they have to go through to die naturally.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes, it scares me too. I've seen inside nursing homes and witnessed my own relatives suffer and degrade slowly. I don't want to go through all that. Especially seeing as by that point, I'll likely be entirely alone- so, what's the point in going through all that? I'm scared that I'll somehow become incapacitated enough one day to not be able to CTB myself. Or, I'll attempt it and fail with horrible consequences.