WalmartSoap
(｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡
- Jun 1, 2026
- 26
Just a general vent about my cowardice when it comes to ctb but my ceaseless desire to be dead, anyway.
I don't think I could ever ctb on my own terms, I don't know. Maybe when I'm able to, I'll buy a firearm and see how I feel then. But for now, I'm left to fantasize because it seems like every other solution isn't permanent enough. I hate how resilient the human body is, until you actually need it to be.
I like the thought of someone pushing me into an oncoming train or getting in a horrible car accident, anything as long as it's fatal. Sometimes it's getting mugged and being shot, something quick like that, too. I think my ideal death would be a shotgun right to the face, nobody liked the look of it anyway, lol.
Anyway, just feeling incredibly down on myself right now (What's new?). Felt like posting. I don't know how long I can continue like this.
I don't think I could ever ctb on my own terms, I don't know. Maybe when I'm able to, I'll buy a firearm and see how I feel then. But for now, I'm left to fantasize because it seems like every other solution isn't permanent enough. I hate how resilient the human body is, until you actually need it to be.
I like the thought of someone pushing me into an oncoming train or getting in a horrible car accident, anything as long as it's fatal. Sometimes it's getting mugged and being shot, something quick like that, too. I think my ideal death would be a shotgun right to the face, nobody liked the look of it anyway, lol.
Anyway, just feeling incredibly down on myself right now (What's new?). Felt like posting. I don't know how long I can continue like this.
