Gromit-CTB

Gromit-CTB

time for ctb
Nov 14, 2020
847
It's not a failure, it's an experience. A beautiful experience, because for the first time you were able to get out of your house, travel to a place that is beautiful in an attempt to die, and for some odd reason a weight was lifted from your shoulders a little bit. It stopped you from going over. Whatever trauma you had, part of it was left behind at your house. They always said that the oceans are deep because they take away your bad memories. I would pay a visit to BH again, but not to die, but to reflect, meditate, just think it over.

The things that were pushing you to suicide weren't pushing you off a cliff anymore that day. Be safe and my inbox is open if you want to talk more.
Thank you, jumping was never going to be my way, a friend was supposed to jump with me today but he went 3 weeks early as couldn't stand life. So maybe it was more putting him to rest and cleansing myself for my own attempt. I think I will stay away from BH as it took a lot out of me but in a lot of ways has helped me focus. Maybe the one holding me back was my friend, I would like to believe that and maybe if I think that way it becomes a lot easy to deal with
 
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profoundexperience

profoundexperience

You can feel the punishment but you cant commit ts
Jun 29, 2020
436
Thanks for your kind feedback, @Gromit-CTB!
and deal with that before next ctb.
The "glitch" may not be something that can be "dealt with" (as in completely subdued... like simply dealing with the laundry or buying train tickets).

I guess what I'm saying is that things like that aren't under our direct control. It may arise again. And, if it does, can you have a relationship with it that's more helpful? One way is to accept whatever it brings. Another way is to thank it and politely/respectfully decline what it seems to be offering. And, there are many other possibilities besides these... What's "right" will be what's right for you.
 
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