manicstreetbeeper
the only way out is through.
- Feb 14, 2025
- 105
surprised but not surprised at my survival. i've been in a psych hospital for the past few weeks. it was a very last-minute decision and the thought of those pills in my throat makes me feel nauseous.
the bottle had 600 pills and judging from it i must've taken at least 200, maybe 250 or so. i took them in a small wooded clearing after receiving some news with an energy drink, feeling blank after i took them, and i didn't want to die like i had anticipated in the woods so i started walking to a very closeby church, and next thing, woke up in my state's hospital with them asking if i knew where i was, hooked up to things, feeling things crawling on me.
apparently i started seizuring and someone called for EMS. i felt guilty that someone found me like that.
it wasn't like i thought a big suicide attempt would be. i don't think i was certain i'd die, as isn't promised with something like Benadryl (i guess, point is, don't take Benadryl to OD; i didn't have really anything else at that time, hence the larger amount taken), but i didn't feel terrified after taking them like i thought i'd be, if i was then i was suppressing it.
it's something i can't share with my friends and don't want to go into detail with on the other forum i frequent as it has a MH forum but isn't sui-centered; so i figured it'd be appropriate to get off my chest here. don't take Benadryl if you can help it, as an add. point.
the bottle had 600 pills and judging from it i must've taken at least 200, maybe 250 or so. i took them in a small wooded clearing after receiving some news with an energy drink, feeling blank after i took them, and i didn't want to die like i had anticipated in the woods so i started walking to a very closeby church, and next thing, woke up in my state's hospital with them asking if i knew where i was, hooked up to things, feeling things crawling on me.
apparently i started seizuring and someone called for EMS. i felt guilty that someone found me like that.
it wasn't like i thought a big suicide attempt would be. i don't think i was certain i'd die, as isn't promised with something like Benadryl (i guess, point is, don't take Benadryl to OD; i didn't have really anything else at that time, hence the larger amount taken), but i didn't feel terrified after taking them like i thought i'd be, if i was then i was suppressing it.
it's something i can't share with my friends and don't want to go into detail with on the other forum i frequent as it has a MH forum but isn't sui-centered; so i figured it'd be appropriate to get off my chest here. don't take Benadryl if you can help it, as an add. point.
