Exausthed

[Georgii]

I'm back here yet again..
Everything just hit back just like a wrecking ball straight up to my guts .
I don't even know how to exactly explain it.. it's just there tearing me down ..
The worst thing ? Im hurting the only person that I actually know cares about me ..
It just won't stop..
I'm so sensible to everything around me , I'm becoming possessive and too dependent on my partner .
I started getting ideas , trying to find ways to cope .. but then I'm down again wonderig why I even try?
Even if impulsively I try to CTB I know I'm still not gonna do it ..
I don't understand ..
I just keep on throwing myself pity parties, one after another .
Im stuck in this endless circle ..
Im okay..Im breaking down ..I wanna end it ..I either fail or back down ..Im misarable ..Im okay ..then again..
I don't even know the point of this post ..

I'm tired yet I can't seem to find a way out this circle ..
My control of my own thoughts lower each day and it's exausthing.

 

[Good4Nothing]

Are you bipolar, by chance? Sounds a bit like the crap my bipolar brain does to me.

 

[Georgii]

Honestly I got no idea ..
I never ended up going to therapy or something ..
Sometimes Im fine .. but sometimes it feels like the world is crashing for no reason ..it's just so weird and always feels like I can't even put it in words.
No matter how much I express it it still doesn't feel enough to how it feels..
and I've avoided putting a self diagnostic on it because I have no idea.

 

[Good4Nothing]

I've never been officially diagnosed, either. I decided I was bipolar when I started reading stuff trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with me. Just Google bipolar and see if that sounds like you. If not, then cross that off the list and keep looking. Could be anxiety, too. There are much more knowledgeable people here than me on these things, hopefully one will chime in and help you.

 

[Good4Nothing]

And she's gone.

What happened?