Venting Every day I wake up worse and worse

[aeoliandawn]

I'm genuinely so tired of everything, I always feel like I'm running behind. I lack hope for the future. I always feel guilty of my same sex attraction. I lack hope of actually finding a loving partner. I feel like I'm the dumbest in my semester, I study in the health field and I don't think people should trust on me with their lives, as I can barely take care of my own (I mean, I want to end my own)
I'm so tired of this, I want it to end, I want it to end now. I can't think straight, I might as well just jump from the sixth floor of my apartment complex (I know it's low and has a low chance of success, but I don't have any other reliable options, and I guess dealing with SI regarding jumping is easily)
My life is better than most people, but saying that to me, and saying to me that I should be grateful only makes it worse, I feel even more guilty and desire to end my life quicker

 

[Nat.]

I'm so sorry that you're in so much pain. Living is something very difficult and horrible. I wish you peace.

 

[aeoliandawn]

I'm so sorry that you're in so much pain. Living is something very difficult and horrible. I wish you peace.

Thank you, buddy