Venting Even if I would get everything I would never be able to recover

[KillingPain267]

Even if I never have to work, but got my dream house in my dream climate and allowed to just play video games, watch movies and eat delicious food, I would not recover. I know this because I have not much motivation to even strive to get these things and they just seem like copes until I get old and die anyway.

The trauma, anxiety and depression I have gotten from people in my life are permanent, lasting beyond the things causing them. And the depression and awareness of mortality makes everything seem like meaningless copes.

So even if I got my "good life" I would still have flashbacks forever and thus be in pain.

 

[LifeQuitter]

Same here

 

[dinosavr]

I think so too. Your everyday life conditions matter for sure, they matter as hell. But there are definitely many things that are independent from where you live, how you live and who you live with.

 

[astr4]

it's like other people fucked us up while we were vulnerable and now no matter what we do it always lingers in the background like a dark cloud

 

[sugarb]

Even if I never have to work, but got my dream house in my dream climate and allowed to just play video games, watch movies and eat delicious food, I would not recover. I know this because I have not much motivation to even strive to get these things and they just seem like copes until I get old and die anyway.

The trauma, anxiety and depression I have gotten from people in my life are permanent, lasting beyond the things causing them. And the depression and awareness of mortality makes everything seem like meaningless copes.

So even if I got my "good life" I would still have flashbacks forever and thus be in pain.

same. Though, it's not really because of my trauma; I want things that aren't currently obtainable in this world and probably won't be until long after my death if ever. That and I feel like I've gone down a mental pitfall of no return

it's like other people fucked us up while we were vulnerable and now no matter what we do it always lingers in the background like a dark cloud

this is random but i wanted to say: you're chill, have a good day

 

[catnowmeowmeow]

I totally agree with this because for me it's mainly the awareness that nothing really matters anyways, even if you got everything you want then what does it matter? It's all distractions till u die

 

[FuneralCry]

Existing truly is so painful, I know that for me existing will always be suffering no matter what as well. But anyway I hope that you find peace eventually.