(Early goodbye) I am very sick.

[watereyes]

Hi,

It breaks my heart that I have to post this. I'm able to type now but it wont last. The chronic disease I'm suffering from has got the best of me. It has so far been impossible to offer me a diagnosis so it is untreatable.
I am so so sorry to everyone. I was on the road to recovery. I was feeling happy. But then I got sick and it got worse and worse, I tried everything I could.
I will do a few more tests but I'm afraid I wont get any diagnosis. So this is goodbye.

I will drink SN 25g and hang myself, which hopefully will kill me. I dont have a set date I will just try to do it when I have the time...

You are all beautiful people and I love you! It is so hard to leave the beautiful things in this world. I didnt know that disease could hit me at 19 years old. I curse it.

https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/910260070795845643/920664552239136860/Screenshot_20211116-210811_WhatsApp-1.jpg

here's a picture of me before getting sick. I was genuinely happy...

Remember to give yourself a chance! You never know when the ability to do it will be taken away from you..

 

[Eternal Oblivion]

Sorry to hear about your condition. Happy are those who can enjoy being health, without it we are nothing... And you are so young and beautiful. May I ask what your symptons are? In any case, good luck.

 

[Rayzieka]

I'm sorry it's come to this. I hope you rest in peace and that your exit is painless.

 

[watereyes]

Sorry to hear about your condition. Happy are those who can enjoy being health, without it we are nothing... And you are so young and beautiful. May I ask what your symptons are? In any case, good luck.

hello yes, chronic nausea and vomiting that gets worse everyday, inability to eat and drink. I am very pale and weak but I'm still beautiful.

 

[Kobusu]

:( Wizzie I think waking up without you in it will be so difficult. I'm sorry you're going through so much pain.

 

[Eternal Oblivion]

hello yes, chronic nausea and vomiting that gets worse everyday, inability to eat and drink. I am very pale and weak but I'm still beautiful.

I'm experiencing digestive issues as well. It blows. Did you look into Gastroparesis? It sounds like you may have it.

PS: Also, I don't know if SN is recommended since you are having trouble with digesting stuff. SN must hit your intestines in order for it to be absorved, so if your stomach isn't working properpy chances are it's going to take a long time to take effect and you are probably gonna suffer longer.

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

The bean gives you one last big hug then, goodbye fren :(

https://external-preview.redd.it/jlA8sVg0VanpDVl3Od2smtvMvvgcLzSYtS954bXEp-Q.jpg?auto=webp&s=17291e39fa41fec4f9d1581d7e3a489402835d40

 

[Death is beautiful]

I'm so sorry that you have to hang yourself, do you think it's necessary? Maybe just SN will be enough?

 

[watereyes]

I'm experiencing digestive issues as well. It blows. Did you look into Gastroparesis? It sounds like you may have it.

PS: Also, I don't know if SN is recommended since you are having trouble with digesting stuff. SN must hit your intestines in order for it to be absorved, so if your stomach isn't working properpy chances are it's going to take a long time to take effect and you are probably gonna suffer longer.

I have looked into multiple things, but ruled out by doctors.

I know this about SN, which is why I'm gonna hang myself as well.

The bean gives you one last big hug then, goodbye fren :(

https://external-preview.redd.it/jlA8sVg0VanpDVl3Od2smtvMvvgcLzSYtS954bXEp-Q.jpg?auto=webp&s=17291e39fa41fec4f9d1581d7e3a489402835d40

I love you bootleg astolfo! I will miss you so much!

 

[Iloveyouall]

I love you Lizzie, I'm so sorry that this condition striked you. I'll always remember the pics you posted of your awesome old tech museum in your room and I'll watch your channel to remember you.

 

[chocolatebar]

So sorry to see you go... I'm speechless...

 

[Enigmatic Sailor]

See you, Wizzie.

 

[Someone123]

Hi,

It breaks my heart that I have to post this. I'm able to type now but it wont last. The chronic disease I'm suffering from has got the best of me. It has so far been impossible to offer me a diagnosis so it is untreatable.
I am so so sorry to everyone. I was on the road to recovery. I was feeling happy. But then I got sick and it got worse and worse, I tried everything I could.
I will do a few more tests but I'm afraid I wont get any diagnosis. So this is goodbye.

I will drink SN 25g and hang myself, which hopefully will kill me. I dont have a set date I will just try to do it when I have the time...

You are all beautiful people and I love you! It is so hard to leave the beautiful things in this world. I didnt know that disease could hit me at 19 years old. I curse it.

https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/910260070795845643/920664552239136860/Screenshot_20211116-210811_WhatsApp-1.jpg

here's a picture of me before getting sick. I was genuinely happy...

Remember to give yourself a chance! You never know when the ability to do it will be taken away from you..

I am so sorry- you really seem to have the joy of life in this photo, you just seem so cool. I am very sorry that you have this extremely bad luck happen to you- I hope you are able to find peace.

 

[FuneralCry]

Life is so cruel. I'm sorry that things are this horrible. I wish you the best, I hope you find peace and freedom from suffering.

 

[Midgardsorm]

I just can't believe this. I'm really sorry Wizzie.

It's so strange how things went so fast, it's horrible how anyone can offer a explanation.

I going through a lot now, my mind is on the verge of shattering. Maybe I will follow in a few, depending on how things goes here... But I hope you recover. I want to believe that you will find something and recover.

I wish you the best, Wizzie.

 

[HiImPaul]

hello yes, chronic nausea and vomiting that gets worse everyday, inability to eat and drink. I am very pale and weak but I'm still beautiful.

Has your doctor looked into median arcuate ligament syndrome?

 

[fox_wannabe]

Sorry to hear that I hope you get better or find peace.

 

[LastLoveLetter]

I am so sorry you have to endure such an awful disease at 19, when you were on the path to recovery.

I truly hope that diagnosis and treatment can be found from upcoming tests. You deserve so much better and the opportunity to continue to recover.

However, I understand from experience that sometimes our bodies cannot be cured or healed, that finding answers and treatments is not always possible. I hope that in your case, you can receive the treatment that you need. I will support you whatever happens next and whatever you decide from here.

 

[steviewonder]

Hi,

It breaks my heart that I have to post this. I'm able to type now but it wont last. The chronic disease I'm suffering from has got the best of me. It has so far been impossible to offer me a diagnosis so it is untreatable.
I am so so sorry to everyone. I was on the road to recovery. I was feeling happy. But then I got sick and it got worse and worse, I tried everything I could.
I will do a few more tests but I'm afraid I wont get any diagnosis. So this is goodbye.

I will drink SN 25g and hang myself, which hopefully will kill me. I dont have a set date I will just try to do it when I have the time...

You are all beautiful people and I love you! It is so hard to leave the beautiful things in this world. I didnt know that disease could hit me at 19 years old. I curse it.

https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/910260070795845643/920664552239136860/Screenshot_20211116-210811_WhatsApp-1.jpg

here's a picture of me before getting sick. I was genuinely happy...

Remember to give yourself a chance! You never know when the ability to do it will be taken away from you..

Fairwell watereyes. See you in another life 🕊

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Dear girl..I'm so incredibly sorry you have to go through this...my heart is with you

I put on a little candle for you, in the hope it reaches your soul x

 

[I-can-only-imagine]

I'm so so SO sorry you are suffering like this @watereyes. Will miss you on chat, with your banter with bootleg and femboys. Please pop in on chat if you can before you go.

 

[sadnurse]

I'm so sorry , I understand the physical suffering part which makes life unbearable, I hope you find peace

 

[S like Siren]

You are a beautiful soul outside and inside<3 i'm so sorry for all your suffering at such young age,i wish there could be' a solution and you could recover and come back to enjoy life and be genuine happy as in the beautiful photo you posted....love you:)

 

[Circles]

I hate you're in so much pain. I like seeing your posts. I wish I could say something that could help without sounding empty but alas. Whatever happens I respect your choice.

 

[meetapple]

I am sorry to hear this especially after seeing your recent post in the recovery section. I hope you achieve peace in the end.

 

[DannyP]

I am very sorry that you are suffering so much, as a chronic pain sufferer I can understand you. Living with pain is hard, sometimes impossible. I wish you a lot of strength

 

[Manaaja]

If I spend too much time looking at a screen, I automatically get nauseous. So try spending less time looking at computer/tablet/phone screens.

Another thing that can cause nausea, is if you haven't stretched and walked and exercised. I have felt really dizzy today and literally almost fell down five times, because I have spent too much time in bad positions on bed and on chair. Limit your sitting and lying, and start walking and stretching and exercising, try to follow the 45 minutes sitting, 15 minutes exercise and strectings and walking rule. Focus on stretching belly muscles and the muscles under your chin. I think since you are really pale it's most likely blood not circulating properly. Especially since it has gotten worse in December when the weather is cold and muscles get stiff. You can't be pale when there's blood in your face, because it automatically colors your face red because blood is, well, red.

I often get vomiting reflexes when my muscles are too tight. When your muscles are tight, the blood can't move, the vomit reflex activates itself and you often vomit, food can't pass through your body, air can't get through etc. I have had the exact same symptoms as you and a doctor that was specialized in physiology/physiotherapy said that it's just because I don't stretch, walk, exercise and I sit on chairs and lie on bed too much. Massaging you belly helps too and the muscles under your chin. Don't stay in unnatural positions. Your body will automatically collapse into bad positions if there are no muscles holding them in plce, so train muscles too.

If you can get your hands on it, I'd also suggest trying to get a muscle relaxant. I was once given it by a good doctor and it helped a lot with the exact same sypmtoms you have.

If you want, go visit a doctor who has specialized in physiology/physiotherapy, and get their opinion if you won't believe me.

Also, since you are trans, you are probably also asperger, and if you have asperger, you most likely have a condition in which some muscles/joints of yours are way too tight and some are way too stretchy. I was told that I keep my arms in really harmful positions since my asperger allows me to bend them in inhuman positions. You have to have really good muscles to protect the joints and bones and be careful that you don't strecth in bad positiongs.

Most doctors know nothing about autism or asperger and thus they don't know that aspergers are prone to that.

Also, I was told by an autism/asperger specialist a thing that absolutely no doctor knows unless they are really specialised in autism/asperger and even then they don't usually know it. Aspergers need different amounts of stuff and meds than regular people.

In the same way a small sound can be really loud for an aspie, the same way a medicine that can be normal for normies is way too powerful for aspies. Or the other way, an aspie can have a really insensitive skin and break their skin because they can't feel pain. So in a lot of cases aspergers should often either take double the amount or half the amount of meds. If you have a hundred NTs and one aspie, it's common for the hundred NTs to be able to take 5 grams of a med without problems and an asperger to vomit a lot and get really sick from 4 grams of the exact same med. And if the aspie suffer from insensitivies, it's the other way, aspie needs 10 grams and normies get sick from 6 grams. So if you are taking meds, I really suggest trying to take a smaller amount.

I'm really sorry if I'm wrong, I just don't want to see anyone to ctb in case their physical health can be cured easily. And if you already ctbed, I hope you found peace! Being trans and aspie is really hard in this world.

 

[storyoftheghost]

I've seen no shit over hundred doctors trying to figure out my complex illness. It took decade and I finally got answers but medical procedures/covid screwed me up.

I don't want to offer false hope, and I get the conundrum, but if you want to try one last hail mary before heading out, I'm going to suggest two things as possibilities.

lorazatide acetate. I saw one report in my me/cfs discord group where this aleviated nausea and improved cognitive symptoms. Can get a month supply for about $150. NutriIV chicago Dr. there can get it if interested. Should know in couple weeks if it works.

Peptide - BPC-157. Would need to be sub-q injections. Very powerful healing peptide.

I get being tired and not wanting to chase diagnoses/treatments when doctors have no clue. I've done this for over decade. I actually got to a good place after 6 years of struggling and no need to elaborate on my decline, but just this to say I get it.

 

[DeutscheKartoffel]

Don't do anything hasty, thats all I have to say.
I personally don't think chronic nausea/ vomiting is enough to make you wanna end your life.

I know it's not pleasant,
but maybe run some tests first and stay put for now.

I certainly hope you'll be able to find proper treatment/diagnosis for whatever reason it is you are feeling sick.

 

[Chronicillness]

Illness penetrated my soul at a young age as well and slowly decayed my body. One of the biggest gripes I have with my own experience with chronic illness is that it robbed me of my youth. I have no good memories to flip through in my head. My life reel is all mind movies of trauma reruns, physical torture, and the gutting despair of knowing that my potential was obliterated by a seriously complex illness.