I don’t want to die..

[sick&tired]

I don't want to die, but I know that I have to and it's killing me inside..
I am struggling to come to terms with everything life has thrown my way over the last year. I had such a beautiful life and then I got sick…no, it wasn't perfect but it was good, fulfilling and I was so grateful for it. I have the most amazing family.. absolute genuine friends.. a solid long term SO.. the sweetest 3 yr old niece & a few of the cutest fur babies ever. I am loved immensely and I know it. There is never a single day that goes by where I'm not reminded of how much I am loved and adored. Yes, I am aware how blessed I am in that sense. But here I am, suffering immensely, unable to enjoy that life I once had, but more devastatingly, the people in it. I was diagnosed with a chronic, debilitating disease that has no approved treatment and I've deteriorated much quicker than most with the disease. I personally only know of one other poor soul who is worse than I am and he's actually become an incredible friend through this heartbreaking journey. I am very sick and literally have to push myself every day to keep going. If it weren't for the people I love and my pets, I believe I would've given up a while ago.
I don't want to die at all, but I feel way too miserable to stay. The thought of possibly never seeing my people again, makes my stomach knot up and my heart sink to the floor…life can be so cruel </3

Thank you for letting me share my pain..

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Welcome to SaSu!

I'm in a totally different situation but the circumstances make me suicidal. It's so relatable: Not wanting to die but being pushed to CTB bc of the circumstances we have to endure and we can't escape. That's the absolute worst case.

I'm sorry you have to go through this. I wish you all the best!

 

[gottacheckout]

One thing I've learned in my short time here is that there a lot of kind souls that will listen to you anytime you need them. I'm so sorry you are in the place you are at.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really dreadful, I'm sorry you have to suffer so unbearably, it's just so cruel to me how there's all this pain and suffering in existing, I wish you the best.

 

[FadingSnowFake]

Welcome here, and truly sorry for the unfairness you find yourself in. Reading the subject, I was going to reply and say, me too but I feel I have to, but your circumstances are so different. You've joined a caring community and I hope this will give you comfort whenever you need someone. Sending love your way.