Help Don't know what to do

[4Kumo7]

If things go downhill this summer I've got two options, either fucking kill myself or run away.
I very much prefer the second one, but I've got no one to go to.
I thought about searching for someone online and with my self destructive tendencies, many of the risks that come with it are welcomed, but there are still what ifs ╥﹏╥
Idk what I'm supposed to do

 

[Knives_14]

What is supposed to go downhill? Do you have something you're working on rn? Id love to help if i can =]

 

[4Kumo7]

What is supposed to go downhill? Do you have something you're working on rn? Id love to help if i can =]

Well, to put it simply it's my school. I'm falling two classes and idk if I'll be able to pass the year because of those. I'm sure my father is gonna force me to continue my studies but I don't want that, I'm already 21 and I already had to restart high school some years ago due to things out of my control.
My father is a piece of shit so I already know that talking with him won't fix anything.
I know it's silly, but this is one of my reasons

 

[Knives_14]

It's not silly, everyone has its reasons and you'll find no one here judging you for it.

Only thing i might say is not about your reason but maybe about your age, please don't consider ctb over school. Mind you i'm not underestimating what pain could bring to you at all, but i genuinely think that ctb should be your last option, and it's not going anywhere.

That being said i send you strength and wish that everything goes for the best =]

(Pls forgive typos, im not an english speaker and im pretty stoned rn =])

 

[4Kumo7]

It's not silly, everyone has its reasons and you'll find no one here judging you for it.

Only thing i might say is not about your reason but maybe about your age, please don't consider ctb over school. Mind you i'm not underestimating what pain could bring to you at all, but i genuinely think that ctb should be your last option, and it's not going anywhere.

That being said i send you strength and wish that everything goes for the best =]

(Pls forgive typos, im not an english speaker and im pretty stoned rn =])

Thanks for saying that!!
And honestly, I'm not considering ctb solely because of school, it's just one thing contributing to it. But if I'm forced to continue, I might as well search for an escape cause it showed me well enough how pathetic I am.
Also, thanks again and don't worry about your writing ദ്ദി˶˃ ᵕ ˂ )✧