Back in 2019, I had reached the lowest point of my life, had lost all communication with my childhood friends, my father had passed, suffered a very painful vertebrae injury, and now I was left with no parents, siblings who lived across the country, and who I wasn't close with, no friends, couldn't work, I felt lonely.
I had given up, fell into deep depression, didn't know what to do, I tried to make the best out of my injury, tried to recover, but the process was so painful that everyday I had the same thoughts of ending it, over and over. Then I finally took action. Took down probably 20-30 Coricidin pills, don't remember much, I remember my heart racing, everything felt slow, and then blacking out. I remember waking up, absolutely drenched in sweat, bloodshot eyes.
I was prepared to go again, but taking more this time, then it hit me, why the hell am I doing this, the amount of things I could do are limitless when I'm done caring about living. During this time I used to idolize bodybuilders, and street racers. So instead of just flat out offing myself, I decided I'm going to start taking steroids.
Went on Empire, starting looking around, bought Tren, Dbol, Test, primo, deca, whatever steroid I knew anything about. I didn't start out slow, realized if I was willing to off myself once, then I clearly dgaf about living anymore. I abused the living hell out of them, made insane progress in little time and it helped me be more content with myself.
Started taking my bike out late nights, speeding through every road i knew of, and started enjoying life more. Even though at this point, I didn't want it to end, I had accepted the risks of my organs failing. My blood work always came back terrible, my diet was shit, but I didn't care.
Fast forward 3 year later, I'm still here, in better health, I stopped abusing steroids, I still take my bike out at nights but more cautiously. My point, don't off yourself yet, become a human Guinea pig for yourself. Experiment with things, put your self at risk, climb tall buildings, jump from roof to roof, go swim in the deepest of waters, step on the gas, take drugs, do things that give you that high that can only be obtained through high risk life or death situations.
If it kills you, so be it, that's what you wanted, no? If it doesn't, well know you've discovered a way to enjoy life, it's a win win in my book, don't waste your only opportunity to do anything without consequence. Find a risk, run with it as far as you can and never stop. Sorry if this wasn't the right section to post this, I'm new here, just wanted to get this message out.
I had given up, fell into deep depression, didn't know what to do, I tried to make the best out of my injury, tried to recover, but the process was so painful that everyday I had the same thoughts of ending it, over and over. Then I finally took action. Took down probably 20-30 Coricidin pills, don't remember much, I remember my heart racing, everything felt slow, and then blacking out. I remember waking up, absolutely drenched in sweat, bloodshot eyes.
I was prepared to go again, but taking more this time, then it hit me, why the hell am I doing this, the amount of things I could do are limitless when I'm done caring about living. During this time I used to idolize bodybuilders, and street racers. So instead of just flat out offing myself, I decided I'm going to start taking steroids.
Went on Empire, starting looking around, bought Tren, Dbol, Test, primo, deca, whatever steroid I knew anything about. I didn't start out slow, realized if I was willing to off myself once, then I clearly dgaf about living anymore. I abused the living hell out of them, made insane progress in little time and it helped me be more content with myself.
Started taking my bike out late nights, speeding through every road i knew of, and started enjoying life more. Even though at this point, I didn't want it to end, I had accepted the risks of my organs failing. My blood work always came back terrible, my diet was shit, but I didn't care.
Fast forward 3 year later, I'm still here, in better health, I stopped abusing steroids, I still take my bike out at nights but more cautiously. My point, don't off yourself yet, become a human Guinea pig for yourself. Experiment with things, put your self at risk, climb tall buildings, jump from roof to roof, go swim in the deepest of waters, step on the gas, take drugs, do things that give you that high that can only be obtained through high risk life or death situations.
If it kills you, so be it, that's what you wanted, no? If it doesn't, well know you've discovered a way to enjoy life, it's a win win in my book, don't waste your only opportunity to do anything without consequence. Find a risk, run with it as far as you can and never stop. Sorry if this wasn't the right section to post this, I'm new here, just wanted to get this message out.
but don't expect much comprehension or awareness from those that spend their days thinking about the subject of suicide. The point was to put your body through absolute hell until you do eventually die, it just so happened in my case it helped me, but that wasn't my intention, I wanted to have consequence free fun and drive myself to death
