Does your appearance prevent you from having the friends you'd want?

[Ambivalent1]

I want nice, supportive friends, but I'm not a woman. Guys don't support. They joke around even at your suffering.

 

[cgrtt.brns]

i do worry a lot that people dont want to be friends with me bc im ugly or i have no sense of fashion, i dont groom myself as much as most ppl and i dont really care how i dress. ive been in situations where ive been with a group of friends in a bar and met new people and get completely ignored or skipped over when they compliment each others outfits/style etc and end up just being ignored the whole night. but i think the thing that prevents me from making friends the most is anxiety.
i definitely relate to finding it hard to find supportive male friends. thats one thing no one mentioned about transitioning from female to male, its so much harder to make genuine friends with a good connection. especially as an adult, it feels impossible. im sure it is still possible as a guy but it is incredibly difficult, it requires really good communication which is something i lack and a lot of other men seem too uncomfortable to do, which is no fault of their own, we unfortunately live in a time where its seen as weak to talk about things if ur a guy. its definitely lonely.

 

[sulli]

i'm very attractive and still friendless

 

[Ambivalent1]

i'm very attractive and still friendless

How come? Is that pic you?

 

[Anonymoususer1234]

Personally, I don't think it's my appearance. I think it's my repulsive personality and unending list of issues. But who's to say, really?

 

[sulli]

How come? Is that pic you?

haha no. also it's my circumstances really. i'm very charming in person but i don't get a lot of chances to meet people. my psych is sending me to a group therapy type of day program bc she thinks the isolation is making me more suicidal and i don't disagree

 

[psp3000]

I do not like my appearance despite me being okay looking
it hasn't stopped me from making friends but my social skills have
the only problems my appearance has caused is years of bullying and harassment usually within friend groups now that I think about it so maybe it has affected my ability to make friends in combination with poor social skills

 

[m1v]

Probably. I feel like I might've been more approachable & gotten friends if I wasn't dressed as an emo person. I'm not complaining though, no one bothers me ever when I'm outside.

 

[Remeer]

Not in my case, my lack of friendships is because I don't fit in with the tastes and values of the people in my society.
I'm not really interested in fitting in and making friends, I realized that I live better without them, more calm and at peace
Some don't understand what you're talking about, others don't want to listen, how can you talk about something interesting?
greetings, be well

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes and no. I'm not at all attractive but then- I don't want or need 'fair weather' friends from a trendy in-crowd. I've always felt intimidated by attractive people. Especially attractive girls or women. Girls in particular because they can be really bitchy and take the piss out of you. Attractive women- I maybe wrongly assume that I won't have anything in common with them. So- I guess I'm fortunate really! The friends I have attracted have been good, caring people.

In terms of attracting men- yes- that used to upset me but it doesn't anymore.

It's sad to hear though that the male friends you have aren't that supportive. I don't really know if most guys are like that. I don't have many male friends really. Maybe you need some female friends!

 

[Daft-Bear]

haha no. also it's my circumstances really. i'm very charming in person but i don't get a lot of chances to meet people. my psych is sending me to a group therapy type of day program bc she thinks the isolation is making me more suicidal and i don't disagree

This is me.

My job forces me to a certain degree of isolation and it absolutely crushes my psyche.

 

[ares0027]

Yep. It causes lack of confidence and when you are confident enough it just doesnt help…

 

[FormerlyFe(IV)]

I'm not really attractive and I cringe at most photos of myself. Sometimes I can feel good looking in the mirror.

I kinda have a "different" vibe that kinda attracts like-minded folk? I'm a stupid nerd, not a manly "alpha" or w/e people say nowadays. Call it autism. Long hair doesn't help either.

I want nice, supportive friends, but I'm not a woman. Guys don't support. They joke around even at your suffering.

I ended up getting two supportive friends out of a larger friend group, and we talked about a lot of emotionally vulnerable stuff one night. My violent past, their problematic sex life, their attempts at CTB.

Of course, both were women. But I'm a guy. You don't need to be a woman to get support from women.

I'm super lucky to have then as friends. It's not easy finding a friendship like that, regardless of gender. It might be harder as a guy but it doesn't make stuff impossible

There's also a guy in that friend group tries to be sensitive but as much as I'm friends with him I would never vibe on a deeper personal level.

 

[R.E.N.]

I can't really tell for sure. Nowadays, I find it hard myself to keep interest in other people, and I feel they can pick up on that.

 

[Valky]

I don't think that looks really have anything to do with making friends. People just find their people. We are just…unlucky?

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Im unattractive (and male), which in turn makes my mental health crap, which in turn probably repels people from being around me, so I guess technically.

 

[ctvunny]

Not really. I have an approachable vibe and it gives me some advantage to meet new people and also some users. Though, now its still the same but what prevents me from having friends is not my appearance or vibe. Its my behavior and not being able to commit myself to stay in contact with them that makes it hard for me; well mostly them since I dont want to entertain people now.

 

[Disappointered]

Not that I particularly wanted to be friends with them but there have always been people who I could tell instantly were slightly racist and/or heightist. A lot of taller males enjoy a sense of privilege and if ever they are somehow in need of friends they always seek each other out and are dismissive with me. I don't really interact with humans anymore, thankfully.