If god or whatever higher entity didn't want me to kill my self so much the least he could've done would be to not screw up whatever little progress I had made after my hardwork.
Looks like almighty god is just like republicans, he only cares when you are breaking the rules of bible.. otherwise he doesn't give a crap about you or your well being.
I was cheated on by multiple women, failed out of two universities pushing me into deep depression, never had the college experience because I was too busy with my heavy course load
This all might sound like trivial stuff to most people but to me the sh*t just kept on piling up till I broke down completely and couldn't go anymore.
I have stopped living for a few years now.. yes by body functions as it's supposed to.. it breathes, it digests food and then spits it out, it gets fat and thin but as a person I haven't lived and grown since I was 15.
I don't have to fear hell, I have lived in hell my whole life. The pain is so heavy it hurts my head and chest.
Planning to ctb by partial suspension. I live with my parents barge in whenever. I would have approximately an hour to do it, from setting it up to offing myself.
I wanted to know how long it takes to die by partial suspension from beginning to the end. Even if I did a shitty job that took me more than a minute to pass out, I should die at most within 15-20 minutes right?
Google is completely useless when it comes to questions like these, instead I'm spammed with stupid suicide helpline numbers. The fact that I had to suffer so much despite not being evil tells me that either god isn't real or he doesn't particularly care about losers like me.
If he exists, I hope he ignores me and let's me do my thing just like he has done for so many years now.. I don't lust after the riches of heaven, I just want an end to the suffering.. I want my soul to cease existing