Discussion Does it matter how you are found? If so, how do you want to be found after you CTB?

[guineapiglover8503]

also, bonus question: have you ever told someone of your want to CTB? How did they react?

For me, I want to be found by an EMT or smth and I plan to call 911 awhile after I take the SN if i am to CTB. The only person I told in depth is a friend of mine away at college and they were very kind about it.

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

Don't care, as long as I'm already dead when I'm found.

 

[coffeebeany]

Yes, I have told my partner. We have been in each others lives for 13 years now and he has witnessed my suffering and trauma first hand for a very long time. I had to tell him slowly. At first he was just angry and sad but gradually he came to realize that I am in too much pain and that I have too much trauma which I am unable to overcome despite 10 years of therapy, several admissions to clinics and a VNS implant. He is heartbroken but says he can understand. I am also heartbroken. But I also cannot believe that I found a person who loves so much, they would let me go. I am crying as I type. But it's true. And I am heartbroken that I have to leave him and my lovely friends, who have always been a safe place.

Yes, I don't want any of them to find me. I don't want to do this to them. I ll book a hotel room or else.

 

[FuneralCry]

No as nothing can matter to me if I no longer exist and that is what comforts me about non-existence as I'll finally be at peace with this cruel, futile existence no longer being my problem, all I wish and hope for is to never suffer again.

 

[RottenMutt]

i don't care how i'm found as long as i choose a method that isn't... messy. i'd hate for someone to have to see something that traumatizing.

 

[ctbsd24]

I'm fine with it either way. My method is full suspension hanging, and i plan to take precautions so that i'm in a dignified manner and won't traumatize anyone who might find me. That includes wearing a blindfold/hood, mouthguard, and potentially adult diaper. I also plan to do it far away from home, so it's unclear at this point if i'd be found at all.

 

[L'absent]

I would have liked to die in my bed dressed well and with silk blankets. This would only have been possible with barbiturates.

 

[ihateearth]

I don't want to be found. I want my body to disappear. It's too bad we can't call up a service to do this.

 

[JustAnx]

If i get to ctb. Anyone but my mother.

 

[lv-nii]

I don't really care what state I'm in, I just wouldn't want my mother to see me in that state.

also, bonus question: have you ever told someone of your want to CTB? How did they react?

Yes, to a friend, but then I regretted it, he started to get nervous if I didn't write or call him, or answer my calls. I don't blame him, but I really wish he wouldn't, I really feel bad for worrying him.

I also told my psychologist about it, but he doesn't care.

 

[Abyssal]

I hen I'm not at rock bottom I want to be found from a professional who has been clued in on my suicide.

When I'm actively suicidal I wing it and will likely be found by my father.

 

[-nobodyknows-]

I don't know; I feel like a lot of that is outside of my control. But I would rather do it someplace where the person who finds me will not be someone who knows me.

And yes. I have told a number of people. Most of the time people are like "oh hell no" and stop talking to me, but there have been a couple of people who have tried to help. But in the end, hearing me talk about things becomes too overwhelming, and so they then leave as well. I don't know which is worse.

 

[Passersby]

It depends on which method I would go with. I have strongly considered a hotel and went to it but backed out. If I went with sn or nitrogen or partial then I would probably do it in the hotel. If it was CO, then it would probably be in a tent at a campground. If it's the gun then I'm not sure yet but would most likely drive at least a few hours away and then do it there somewhere.

I've told a few psychologist and a few others in my life but I don't think they take me seriously. One person told me off and it made things even more upsetting. I've been threatened with hell a lot. From here on out I won't tell anybody new.