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weonaestupida

weonaestupida

Member
May 13, 2019
35
sometimes i use narcissism as a mechanism defense to not feel bad about myself all the time, for example i think i'm the prettiest and the smartest than anyone ,but i keep those thoughts to myself and don't express to the external world bc my intention it's not to hurt somebody ,it's just a way to not feel so shitty about all the other things that i truly hate about myself
 
puppy9

puppy9

au revoir
Jun 13, 2019
1,238
sometimes i use narcissism as a mechanism defense to not feel bad about myself all the time, for example i think i'm the prettiest and the smartest than anyone ,but i keep those thoughts to myself and don't express to the external world bc my intention it's not to hurt somebody ,it's just a way to not feel so shitty about all the other things that i truly hate about myself
Wow, you just read my mind. Are spying on me? :sunglasses:
 
Angst Filled Fuck Up

Angst Filled Fuck Up

Visionary
Sep 9, 2018
2,687
I feel like I have a sort of love/hate relationship with myself. On some level I do notice I think I'm smarter/more interesting etc than a lot of people, or that I have more general knowledge/life experience. But at the same time there are these huge waves of self-loathing, particularly when I examine my life and the way I've been leading it.

Objectively I have no good reason for feeling anything positive about myself, and no right to speak authoritatively to anyone about anything. Especially because IRL I am also problematic to others in my life and can also be kind of a dick. Nor do I contribute anything good to the world (or even to those I love).
 
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N

netrezven

Mage
Dec 13, 2018
515
It's very likely. And it's also very likely to be one of the reasons for not wanting to accept the world as it is and get past my stupid drama.
 
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Scribble Fan

Scribble Fan

I'm out!
May 30, 2019
815
Wow, that would be nice, but I have too much insecurity and self-hated for it. Shame I can't stop reflecting on myself and just move on.
 
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M

Morphinekiss

Enlightened
Jun 8, 2019
1,207
I tend to hide everything I could use to gloat about myself so much that I forget about those things. If that even makes sense. Plus I'm pretty sure I just don't want to feel good about myself for any reason as that will just magnify how bad I truly feel when I face reality
 
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not_a_robot

not_a_robot

"i hope the leaving is joyful, & never to return"
May 30, 2019
2,121
ALSO.
Everybody uses covert narcissism (the DSM defined version) to not feel bad about themselves, that's why neurotypical society is so fucked up and hurtful.
I think one reason neurotypicals despise me so universally is because in contrast to their covert narcissism, my overt self-love is on full display, and obviously harmless/benevolent.
I offend their fakery by being authentic.
A Fraud's fakery can fool everybody in the room; until the minute the real deal walks through the door.
Frauds hate nothing more than to meet authenticity in the flesh, in all it's ugly glory.
 
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LongTimeComing

LongTimeComing

I'm a saint, got a date with suicide
May 23, 2019
58
What's your disorder?

I have bipolar. Many know that the elated episodes, an inflated ego is common. During the depressive episodes I also get extreme paranoia and self hatred, which leads to desperation and impulsivity. I become extremely self-destructive and to prevent myself from taking out my mania on others or making a sloppy attempt to ctb, I have to introduce an aspect of the elated state. Before I started doing so, I lashed out at others and did really dangerous things. Like you, I don't want to hurt others; I'm extremely kind to those I make connections with and I won't let my mania let me damage others, either for my own gain or in my impulsive states. I don't put others down as most narcissists do, I simply put my own feelings first. Just because I'm selfish, doesn't mean I have to traumatize others.
 
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Severen

Severen

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,819
sometimes i use narcissism as a mechanism defense to not feel bad about myself all the time, for example i think i'm the prettiest and the smartest than anyone ,but i keep those thoughts to myself and don't express to the external world bc my intention it's not to hurt somebody ,it's just a way to not feel so shitty about all the other things that i truly hate about myself

So many people do this. But I can't blame them... So many people are constantly looking for any flaw in another person to attack to feel powerful(and if they can't do that, they create flaws in another person). Better to be a narcissist than someone who totally insane(like a sociopath) from all the mental abuse.
 
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Orin

Orin

Experienced
Apr 16, 2019
253
I first heard of narcissism as a defense mechanism from Sam Vaknin, really fascinating concept. And i never knew there were several types of narcissism. As for me, it's not so much that i think i'm "better" than others, but i sort of assess my situation and judge it as "better" than others.
 
Severen

Severen

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,819
I first heard of narcissism as a defense mechanism from Sam Vaknin, really fascinating concept. And i never knew there were several types of narcissism. As for me, it's not so much that i think i'm "better" than others, but i sort of assess my situation and judge it as "better" than others.

Human brains are very interesting even though most of them are not very impressive. When under attack, some human brains will turn to narcissism to prevent brain damage. Some human brains will turn to Stockholm syndrome. And some human brains will turn to rage, hatred and fight or flight mode. The teenagers who rebel against their parents and society is an example of this. And some human brains, just break down to the point, it can't even function properly and is only capable of one thought process. The best defense would be a combination of narcissism, rage, hatred and fight or flight mode because those would best serve an individual when his or her mind is being constantly attacked. Otherwise, you will just become a delusional doormat or a sociopath. I wonder why all human brains don't defend themselves, in just one way, though from brain damage. EDIT: Actually I started thinking about it some more and think narcissism is a double edged sword. Because it leads to arrogance and that can get you in a lot of bad situations in life. And I see arrogance as stupidity. So it makes me wonder, if some people are forced to think in such a stupid way because their brains were under attack in the past or currently being under attack. This means, mentally abusing someone could make them dumber... That's some fucked up shit...
 
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not_a_robot

not_a_robot

"i hope the leaving is joyful, & never to return"
May 30, 2019
2,121
I first heard of narcissism as a defense mechanism from Sam Vaknin, really fascinating concept. And i never knew there were several types of narcissism. As for me, it's not so much that i think i'm "better" than others, but i sort of assess my situation and judge it as "better" than others.
Yes. I seem cocky not because I think my situation is better, but because I see it as all the same, so I don't care, and it's liberating.
It's well illustrated by the ending of Black Mirror: Nosedive.
It's just finding the courage to scream
FUCK YOU!!!
The courage that comes from losing everything.
 
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