illvoid
he/it
- Aug 11, 2022
- 150
I don't understand whats wrong with me or why I'm so scared of being intimate with my partner or any of this really, I never used to feel like this at all. This only started about 2 weeks ago and I'm so fucking confused and scared and I really hate myself. I feel disgusting for thinking about sex and I'm constantly afraid of making my partner feel uncomfortable. I have an overwhelming fear that she doesn't really want to reciprocate and that she feels pressured to do so. I feel like a fucking monster. I know I would never forgive myself if I hurt her like that. Part of me knows this is irrational bc she's never expressed being uncomfortable, but normal people don't even worry about this shit. I wouldn't be so scared of this if there wasn't something wrong with me. I really need to ctb soon.