C
cozse<3
Member
- Jun 26, 2023
- 26
I want to die asap. I wish this didn't take much effort. I can barely function, let alone plan things.
I think writing suicide notes can be pretty hard. There is so much to say. I am not sure myself if I would want to use my note to inflictMaybe not asap, because I have all the means to do it right now; be it SN, hanging or attempting to stab myself again.
The only reason I didn't do it yet is lack of ideas on what to write in my suicide note, if anything at alI.
Hi,I definitely feel much urgency to ctb/die. There is greater suffering ahead of me if I live and I don't want to go through it. But I also can't ctb without directly and greatly, harming someone I love and care about more than the world, possibly leading to them losing their life as well. And I just can't bring myself to do that as the person I am.
So I continue to exist. Trapped. Trapped by fear and love. Wanting to die, but having to wait for an agonizing natural death.
I definitely understand wanting to die asap. You're not alone feeling that all the time.
May I ask what keeps you here? (No pressure to answer)
The only reason I'm still alive is because I need to source SN and antiemetics. Once I have what I actually need I want to go ahead with it asap. I assume this is what you meant by your last question.I definitely feel much urgency to ctb/die. There is greater suffering ahead of me if I live and I don't want to go through it. But I also can't ctb without directly and greatly, harming someone I love and care about more than the world, possibly leading to them losing their life as well. And I just can't bring myself to do that as the person I am.
So I continue to exist. Trapped. Trapped by fear and love. Wanting to die, but having to wait for an agonizing natural death.
I definitely understand wanting to die asap. You're not alone feeling that all the time.
May I ask what keeps you here? (No pressure to answer)