Discussion Does anyone here like me not let themselves feel bad about themselves

[fkyou]

Does anyone here like me not let themselves feel bad about themselves -like hate themselves-blame themselves for their situation-because that's the last thing they need now. I delude myself with thoughts that comfort me rather than accept another typa hell of pain.whenever I get these type of feelings/thoughts I just straight up block them because if I don't I'll have panic attacks. I imagine myself someone else-pretend Im friends with someone-that comforts me - i watch from social media just to forget who I am and my situation.put myself in other people's life. idk if someone relate to what I'm saying.and all of this just to be able to carry on with ctb.cause if I come to ctb from a -you deserve this- and not compassion stand point,then suicide becomes just a gruesome ending.another thing to blame myself for instead of a relief. If I don't paint it like this on my head I can't go on with it.