Does anyone feel they don't belong or feel disconnected from reality?

[otium]

I mean, I try not to think about it. But 4 times today, have I asked someone a question or said something and they haven't responded. I just sit there, not even mad, don't even repeat myself. I just feel so disconnected from everyone. I try to spark a conversation, and no one responds. It's very debilitating. Anyone else?

 

[VoidBlessed]

Me too. Idk quite what else to say. my presence, if registered at all, is made clear to be unwanted. I'm so tired of being an outcast on a dying planet.

 

[unluckysadness]

I feel like a ghost. I often say "hello" to people and they don't answer, so I think I must be invisible or already dead (I'm already dead inside since a long time).
It's very strange : I don't have the right to live and I don't have the right to die. Shit

 

[fazzle]

Ive always been puzzled watching other people interact with each other so naturally, having conversations like it's the easiest thing in the world. When I try it it's usually a 1 word interaction that's awkward. My reality does feel like there's a glitch somewhere, I'm just not like everyone else, obviously they haven't found those defects relating to me in the matrix yet!

 

[nool]

Yes to both. All my life, I've been an outcast. I was bullied in school because of my appearance, personality, interests, etc. Even in communities I tried to get involved in, I always felt like there was an invisible circle drawn in the sand that I was always on the outside of. I've never felt like I belonged, even as a young child.

 

[hopelessnight]

I'm just a piece impossible to fix in this puzzle which is called world

 

[dearlydeparted44]

I've had this sentiment ever since I could remember. From the way my parents treated me growing up, to the way others treated me throughout my life. I feel like I'm just not natural to this world or supposed to be here. I feel like this life has attacked me because of that. I guess that's why I'm at peace with leaving here. I finally realized that I'm leaving nothing behind, and no one will miss me. And I'm okay with that. My worst pain has always come from dealing with this world as I imagined it or how I thought it should be rather than how it is.

 

[w1ngedpearl]

I feel detached from reality because my way of existing is isolating. I spend all time in my apartment alone and when I hear other people outside - laughing, playing, talking to each other, solving everyday problems, I feel weird. It's like I'm watching the world from some bubble while life is passing me by.

 

[VoidBlessed]

Yes to both. All my life, I've been an outcast. I was bullied in school because of my appearance, personality, interests, etc. Even in communities I tried to get involved in, I always felt like there was an invisible circle drawn in the sand that I was always on the outside of. I've never felt like I belonged, even as a young child.

Same. Even communities of other lonely autistic people don't want me there. Idk what's wrong with me, what makes me so universally icky but I think there's nothing to fix. It's fundamental to me, whatever I am.

I try very very hard not to hate the people shutting me out though. It's just a type mismatch, nothing more. It's not their fault that we're incompatible, and anger and hate aren't justified. I can't help but be jealous though. Oh well.

 

[leviant123]

A lot actually. I tried to cope with it by thinking maybe I'm just more expressive and I like to be more bubbly? (because that's how i am most of the time) yet nothing about me seems to fit with the crowd around me. For some reason now that I'm typing this I can't seem to describe myself and think of why i feel so disconnected. Even within myself, it's like i'm playing a character but I'm so tired of everything already, like i'm just going along with life till there's absolutely no reason to anymore. maybe me making sense of this won't help, i've been trying everything to be connected im just accepting shit now

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's more that I've isolated for so long, that the prospect of having to rejoin the 'real' world with peoole in it terrifies me. Definitely in part because of awkward social interactions. I suppose it's more that I really don't want to be a part of this world.

 

[princexhhn]

It's more that I've isolated for so long, that the prospect of having to rejoin the 'real' world with peoole in it terrifies me. Definitely in part because of awkward social interactions. I suppose it's more that I really don't want to be a part of this world.

This is exactly how I feel as well TT

 

[Unknown21]

Always

 

[katara]

I feel detached from reality because my way of existing is isolating. I spend all time in my apartment alone and when I hear other people outside - laughing, playing, talking to each other, solving everyday problems, I feel weird. It's like I'm watching the world from some bubble while life is passing me by.

I feel very similar. I also live in a boomer area which probably doesn't help. I haven't had a friend in years. I tried making friends online and fail a lot because people only want to talk to other people who have friends, I've noticed that, even on this site. Certain people get tons of replies in a way I don't. At first I wondered why, did he comment more on peoples posts? Was he nicer than me? Then I realized he talked about his irl friends, gf, places he's gone to. Then it hit me, people just like him because he's more normal. People don't care if you are nice, funny, or friendly. Being more well off is what matters more. If I was dating someone, I think people on this site would've treated me like that, which is depressing to think about.

 

[FadingSnowFake]

What you are describing is plain rude and wrong. I feel disconnected too, but more as if everything is so unreal that I don't know what is real sometimes. I think we are in a different world compared to "normies". Almost lucky for me, I live in a foreign country where I can't communicate in the local language anyways. At work I'm fake and weekends I'm alone. Weekends I feel like a different person and wonder sometimes if I have two personalities. Sorry for what you are experiencing. I'm glad we have this caring community where people are more human than out there.

 

[Adûnâi]

I feel weird. It's like I'm watching the world from some bubble while life is passing me by.

Maybe the upside would be that you're also protected from their specific worries? Sure, maybe they're worth it, or maybe not even that. I for one can't go outside for 2 years because I'm a male and males get raped on sight here, BUT staying indoors is protective.

On the topic - I experienced that, but only a few times... Because I never really tried to communicate with anyone either way. Interestingly, when I went to uni, guys did shake my hand, but I stopped because it's not like I ever opened my mouth to them anyway, so it felt awkward.

 

[Alexandra_]

I always felt like a stranger in this world

 

[ShipSeeksHarbour]

Sometimes but I think in a different way to you. It just feels like I'm living in an alternative reality, a nightmare, that everything that's happening isn't meant to be happening, it's fake, it's a dream, I just need to wake up but no matter how hard I try I don't wake up from it

 

[Hollowman]

All the time. I wish my attempt would've worked 15 years ago.

 

[thetimehaspast]

Yes. Now and now is the worst it ever feels.

I moved to a new place with my parents at 5yo. At that point in my life the best part of my life started. I left at 11yo. You may laugh but I remember everything with love, loved my home, I loved pals, I loved my family and in no way wanted any of it to change. It did in the worst way by leaving and since that day my life has just got worse and more detached day on day, year on year.

I Then moved at 13yo. Then 22. Then 25, Then 35. I could just tell my quality of life was getting worse and lost interest. You may think I have rose tinted glasses on or I was to young. It's not the case as I am clear I would have been so good if I stayed where I moved when I was 5yo.

Each move changed me into less than I was then and I can't return to my old self. I was brought up to try everything in life which I did. In my view my life finished about ten years ago.

I sadly should have died a long time ago. My mother died this year and my life is just a complete nightmare and I feel so detached from the world outside and my life stays still. To this day I want to go back but nothing stays still for you to return - think that's the most painful thing you can't return to then.

I really want a path to something that will end my life in peace and at the same time allow a bit of time to reflect the best bit of my life with dignity. My biggest worry is being forced to kill my self in a way that's I embarrassing that everyone can see.

 

[tooBadTooLate]

Yeah. I can't speak very loud either, so that might've played a factor into it. I don't know if I like that feeling, though.

 

[Vivissa]

Regarding that, the accelerating passage of time over the last 8 years of my life makes me regret not having ended my life 6 years ago. I feel my life has been even more wasted with each passing year.