Discussion does anyone feel happier after deciding to ctb

[puppybrained]

i can't say i've fully set my heart on it, but everyday i feel closer and closer and more comfortable with the idea, and i've noticed i've been a lot more chipper, lighthearted, and energetic (even though overall im still kind of miserable). it's such a comforting and freeing feeling to feel like i'm making progress towards my one goal. it feels like a weight being lifted. does anyone else feel like this when they think about finally doing it?

 

[ms-lovely]

My date is set for tomorrow evening and I have finished all preparations, honestly i feel good, like a weird sense of tranquility, i already know how my day will go tomorrow and im sort of enjoying my final days.

 

[puppybrained]

My date is set for tomorrow evening and I have finished all preparations, honestly i feel good, like a weird sense of tranquility, i already know how my day will go tomorrow and im sort of enjoying my final days.

that makes sense, i hope you're having a good day today. everyone deserves to be at peace towards the end. i'm glad you feel like you are. good luck!

 

[Hellish Ore]

The idea of it is like my comfort zone.

 

[puppybrained]

The idea of it is like my comfort zone.

same, i've always felt calmer while imagining myself dying, but really wanting to die and not just fantasizing is really comfy

 

[Sover]

Yea but the research and planning can be overwhelming. I was set on partial hanging, attempted a few times but cant get it to work.

 

[kyhoti]

I wouldn't say "happier", but there is some kind of peace, a lessening of the perpetual stress of my days. The final part of my plan should fall into place next week, which gives me a date of next weekend. There's a little sadness involved too, as I was really trying to give life a go, but it's just not working.

 

[puppybrained]

Yea but the research and planning can be overwhelming. I was set on partial hanging, attempted a few times but cant get it to work.

its a lot, i thought it would be simple but since i've been reading on it a lot more - especially on this site - it seems like i have to put much more thought into it than i originally considered. i'm just thankful for the resources and differing opinions from other members that helps.

I wouldn't say "happier", but there is some kind of peace, a lessening of the perpetual stress of my days. The final part of my plan should fall into place next week, which gives me a date of next weekend. There's a little sadness involved too, as I was really trying to give life a go, but it's just not working.

there definitely is some sadness. i won't lie, after making this post i cried a bit at the sadness that i'm truly losing hope. still, i just don't think i was cut out for this life, maybe the next one if that's a possibility.
i'm glad you're working towards a goal, having a date is a comfort. that being said, i don't know your circumstances or what you've tried, nor would i ever ask a stranger to prolong their suffering, but i think the fact that you had some desire to give life a go is worth something. if you feel that spark in you again before next weekend, no matter how deep down, i'd hope you could consider giving it one last try. i don't know anything, but maybe that little bit of hope means something more.

 

[bleakwinter]

I feel sad cause I love classical music, but thinking of all dead who did, it feels easier.