Discussion does anyone else's mind work like this?

[blueecat]

I'm not planning on committing right now, but I know i'll do eventually. so i keep trying to do what makes me feel better in the present and don't care much about the future. for example, I'm going to study something in uni which isn't going to give me any money, I'll do it only for enjoyment. i don't care about being successful. i don't put much effort in my future. i think i'll have a good time while i can and then i'll die. it's so weird because I know i will kill myself some day. i just feel like i need to do more before I go.

 

[SamTam33]

Even though recent experience has harshly taught me not to (quitting my job thinking I'd ctb in a year) - I still do it on a much smaller scale.

Like ordering food via Door Dash multiple days in a row even though I haven't had any income in over a year.

I tell myself that since I'm going to die, why not enjoy the convenience of having some delicious smoked ribs delivered directly to my door before I go.

I'd like to see the credit card company collect payment from a dead woman

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Oh yes. I still would advise you to not be too neglectful of your life. CTB is never a certainty for anyone and you don't want to have to repair self-inflicted damage later down the road.

 

[death's lover]

I'm not planning on committing right now, but I know i'll do eventually. so i keep trying to do what makes me feel better in the present and don't care much about the future. for example, I'm going to study something in uni which isn't going to give me any money, I'll do it only for enjoyment. i don't care about being successful. i don't put much effort in my future. i think i'll have a good time while i can and then i'll die. it's so weird because I know i will kill myself some day. i just feel like i need to do more before I go.

It's the opposite for me. " it's so weird because I know i will kill myself some day. i just feel like i need to do more before I go".Although I feel like this sometimes, most of the time it's like why do I have to do anything,I'm going to die anyways. I know I'll kill myself before 22 or 21 but now I feel like it's meaningless to do anything since I'm going to die anyways and all the things I did, things I want to do, will cease to exist along with me. This mindset has ruined a lot of things for me now but that's I think it is. Everything after death will cease to exist even the feeling of regret, although we might feel some eight before we die, at the end it's all pointless.

 

[Archness]

Me. I know I'll ctb in the future. Not now, but I'm certain that after doing everything I feel I need to, being mostly writing some stuff, I'd decide to end it. I've became quite a bit more distant from everything after making up my mind, but for various reasons I'll ctb when the time is right.