Does anyone else want to die because all they do is make other people suffer?

[meles_inoris]

I try my hardest to please others and it all falls flat on my face. Last night my grandmother snapped at me for going downstairs to get a drink of water while my cousin was sleeping and I very nearly snapped and attacked her. Knowing that my existence alone can push not just someone, but multiple people, to that level: it makes me want to fade away into nothing.

I'm an unlovable asshole who doesn't deserve conscience. I push away everyone who loves me and all my good behavior is just part of a thin mask. Deep down I'm a few murders short of Albert Fish and there's nothing that can help me.

 

[Huntfish34]

Damn. I'm sorry she snapped like that... You deserve better than that. I do understand a lot of what you speak of though. With me it basically boils down to a Self hatred for myself that I've had for Years. It Fckn sucks. =\.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

i feel the same way you do. i would never want to hurt someone in the way that i've been hurt, but i unfortunately am apart of the cycle i'm trying to break free of. i don't want to inflict this kind of suffering on anybody else. i'm a danger to both myself and others, which is a major reason for wanting to ctb. you're not alone.

 

[checkouttime]

I have caused a lot of pain and suffering. I finally now have realised what a piece of shit i am. if i had one wish it would be i was never born. i don't want to cause anymore of the pain and suffering, but when i go on one, there is no control. i scare the shit out of myself. I am ashamed of things i have done and wish to CTB sooner rather than later. ultimately, no matter what i do i find a way to fuck things up. i just have a self destruct mode. I've 'had it all' and i don't wish to 'have it all' again to fuck it all up all over!