Discussion Does anyone else not feel strongly about loved ones?

[penguinl0v3s]

I have a support system. I have friends who love me and a family that loves me.

I don't love my family because their actions traumatized me (not on purpose) and I am an anti-natalist. The fear that they will say bad things about me if I die is a bigger driving force than anything they could feel.

I feel positively towards my friends, but this doesn't sway me towards giving up my individual right to not have to live.

My experience with bereavement taught me that people will move on faster than people recover from lifelong depression, so logically the suffering has a net reduction.

I feel disconnected from others because they say my way of thinking is so unusual and robotic. I want to know if anyone else relates.

 

[Greasyhair]

I am pretty much in same situation with my family as you. I used to love my friends and used to say things like "Love and loyalty run deeper than blood/friends are your family" I still care for my friends, but as my situation has grown worse, and I have become more depressed, and more importantly tired my ability to feel love has become muted.

Regarding others I learned quickly that you have to wear some sort mask socially or you will be "punished" by those who cant relate.

 

[lost in the lilies]

I have a support system. I have friends who love me and a family that loves me.

I don't love my family because their actions traumatized me (not on purpose) and I am an anti-natalist. The fear that they will say bad things about me if I die is a bigger driving force than anything they could feel.

I feel positively towards my friends, but this doesn't sway me towards giving up my individual right to not have to live.

My experience with bereavement taught me that people will move on faster than people recover from lifelong depression, so logically the suffering has a net reduction.

I feel disconnected from others because they say my way of thinking is so unusual and robotic. I want to know if anyone else relates.

I think it's honestly natural for you to hold resentment towards your family if they've done things that have traumatized you. Even if they didn't mean to harm you, it doesn't change the fact that they did something that left a mark on you. I just felt the need to express this right off the bat because I also don't have a great relationship with mine, and although they have mostly good intentions it doesn't change the fact that they've done things that have simply changed the way I look at them permanently. It's weird to say you don't love your own family and something like that is bound to get you strange looks, but you have a right to feel the way you do.

I also feel pretty disconnected and alienated from most other people, but it's mostly because I just feel I am too weird and far too removed from normalcy. I'm a neet who pretty much never leaves their room. People tell me I look like a vampire because I don't get much sunlight lol. And even when I am around people I'm just really introverted and I barely ever speak, dislike eye contact and what not. I just feel like I really don't fit in or belong and am too strange to really get along with anyone who isn't like me, which is 98% of people ig. I wouldn't say I'm robotic but, I definitely relate to that feeling of being disconnected

 

[Hollowman]

I don't feel strongly about anything anymore. Four decades of off and on suicidal ideation has fried my brain.

 

[FoxSauce]

Not much for my is just my siblings and one cousin thats it.

No one likes negativity, plus is always jey when are you gonna do this or do that and everytime i show up to a gathering I come out feeling worst then ever. Do they know this? No. I dont plan on it anytime soon.

I rather not show up at all, sure I could reach out some of my cousin's who seme less judgy but still. Everything is one sided.

I love my grandmother dearly, I dont have anything in common with my cousins not even my own mom so why bother.

I rather be on my own and not talk to anyone is best this way.

 

[telekon]

Only my grandma, but I don't even see her anymore because she lives with my uncle who is extremely abusive and she always brings up my parents when we talk. I don't really have any friends that I feel strongly about.

 

[martyrdom]

I was very very close with my mother, and I had a lot of friends, a loving girlfriend, etc. I am completely disconnected from all of it now, I don't care in the slightest about anything they will feel when I die or anything they are feeling now watching me be the way I am. I am usually numb, but when I am not, I feel resentful towards them.

 

[TheHolySword]

I destroyed most of my friendships because they meant too much to me. The girl of my dreams was there waiting for me and I made her hate me. There a few people still in my life only because I cannot bring myself to destroy it. My family is all I have and the thought of hurting them is a burden too much to bear

 

[girl from mars]

I can relate to you especially. It's not like my loved ones mean nothing it me, it's just there are so many other things at the forefront of my mind, primarily self-loathing

 

[Irisse]

I don't feel strongly about anything anymore. Four decades of off and on suicidal ideation has fried my brain.

For me, exactly this (but 13 years).

 

[Pale_Rider]

I was beaten until my mind split. You can extrapolate from that.