Discussion Does anyone else get these intense periods of hopelessness where you feel you have to ctb right then and there?

[Squiddy]

Today was almost a good day, but now I'm getting one of those moments

 

[Stick]

Today was almost a good day, but now I'm getting one of those moments

I'm sorry Squiddy. I've been having those kinds of moments recently, too.
I hope you can get through this one

 

[Nurse T]

Yes I get very impatient and impulsive, I think calmness and patience is key to doing it properly.

 

[MariV]

what do you use to od when this happens?

 

[Squiddy]

what do you use to od when this happens?

I think about SN when it happens

 

[Lux]

At least once a week. I just turn off the lights and lay in my bed in complete darkness, maybe listening to music. I just jump between yes and no. I also have a sturdy rope for a noose just in case.

 

[Mr2005]

All the time

 

[mooncake]

Multiple times a day

 

[almost_dead]

All the time . Please kill me . This is a cry for help .

 

[MariV]

I think about SN when it happens

me too...but there are ppl here talking about losing consciousness...i dont think SN does that unless at high doses. i always have the temptation to od with benzos or zolpidem but im afraid of horrible side effects such as paranoia

 

[Painless_end]

Yes

 

[Ghost2211]

I'm having one now. Fuck hormones, and fuck being female.

 

[LonelyNick]

I want too CBT really, really bad but I can't until after October 18th. I'm counting the days and gritting through the pain.

 

[sadworld]

yeah most of the times it happens in the morning or when my social anxiety kicks in

 

[raindrops]

Everyday its like I've forgotten how to be happy and what "normal" feels like.

 

[lost.ghost]

yes, that's when both of my suicide attempts happened. when i immediately get extremely upset i impulsively attempt so i don't think through my plan and it doesn't kill me. when i CTB i want it to be thought out and prepared, like i have to do with SN. i've started ignoring the impulsivity i feel in those situations because i know i'll probably fuck up my attempt and not die. not sure if this makes sense lol

 

[ARW3N]

Yes, psychiatrists call it suicidal ideation. Some people are passively suicidal whilst others are actively suicidal. People who are passively suicidal, for example, regret waking up in the morning and wish they could have died during their sleep. Someone who is actively suicidal will take a taxi ride to a bridge and jump to their death. There's a prominent suicidologist who disputes the idea that suicide is an impulsive act and labels it a myth. Most suicide prevention programmes are based on the idea that suicide is an impulsive act that can be interrupted. However, we don't always see the backstories behind most suicides. One documentary that does gives us their lengthy backstories is the suicide documentary The Bridge (2006).

 

[Shades of Grey]

Absolutely.

To prevent myself from doing something impulsive in those moments, I self-harm, consume some "herbally enhanced" edibles and induce couchlock until I fall asleep, fall down internet rabbit holes for hours, or do something mindless and crafty.

I won't keep items in my house that could be used for an impulsive suicide. When I rented a tank of pure helium for a work-related function, I wouldn't allow myself to bring the thing home until it was completely empty. I don't own any belts or firearms, and avoid purchasing rope that might be suitable for bus-catching. That isn't how I want to go. I do have a method on hand, but it wouldn't be suitable for an impulsive act (if not planned appropriately, someone might find me while I'm still viable... I'm not taking that chance).

I'm sorry you're having a hard day. ❤

 

[Squiddy]

Having one of those moments again :(