Venting does anyone else get mad when told "it gets better".?

[crimsonpool]

people keep telling me this even my therapist and i know they mean well but its just not true, im almost 20 and ive never found this to be true. i feel like if it were it would have happened to me at least a little but it hasn't. ? it feels like a lie they tell people just so they won't ctb

 

[Outandproud]

I don't think anyone really knows if it will get better or worse for someone else and how much the better or worse will last. The brain experience some changes after 25 yo aprox, therapy and meds can help to cope with mental illness. Some illegal drugs too. Then family support or some kid of financial support. Im older than you, I don't think its better for me than when i was 20 but i do see myself as still a teenager back then. Now +30 all its more quiet, not happier just quiet. And i hope to CTB in peace, not in an act of impulse

 

[Scythe]

I Just think, same shit every day, wouldn't be the first time I heard it, wouldn't be the last either. Probably never helped anyone that's in a lot of pain and probably never will. It's the go to fucking line for pro-lifers, better to just ignore.

 

[MyLifeisHell]

Things can still be in flux and that's why they say that. By the time you're 25 or 30 and you're still dealing with the same old scrap that's when it is really unwarranted.

 

[Worndown]

For most people this is true. The rest have difficult decisions.

 

[The anhedonic one]

It infuriates me.
Because it is a completely one sided view with these pro-life fucktards.
They always fail to try and understand how we feel, and invalidate our feelings.

 

[blacksand]

Yes I'm 27 and nothing ever got better. Part of it's my own fault I was lazy and stupid for a long time. But regardless I'm approaching 30 with nothing and no one and want to remove my brain from the universe as soon as possible.

 

[Charlie-Bravo]

I think its more of a saying. Like how you always say that your good/fine when somebody asks you how ya doing.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Probably in most cases, we are dealing here with, sayin' "It's getting better" is practically useless and it makes me angry when people are saying this to me, too. Things for me can only get better when one particular thing changes rapidly and these changes have to be so immense that it is almost impossible this could ever happen, and less isn't satisfying to activate a feeling of change in me. And so everyone out there has their own peronal stuff that would have to improve so much that saying "It's getting better" would be worth it.

 

[groucho]

It may be annoying but it's also true, in that certain circumstances and your reactions to things can get better, especially when you're still young e.g. in your teens and 20's. I can't guarantee things will get better but they can, some of that is in your control, some isn't... That's life unfortunately.

 

[lastday6116]

Positive energy and that tomorrow will be better. I'm sorry, but nothing has improved

 

[FuneralCry]

To me it's so cringe when people say toxic positivity platitudes like "it gets better!!", those people are severely deluded and are just best ignored, it will be different when they inevitably suffer more in the future. The reality is that as humans all that's inevitable for us is even more suffering, decay and loss in this hellish world where there's unlimited potential to be tormented by existence. Existing is so dreadful and pointless, the truth is that existing beings are doomed to suffer in this process of slowly dying, I could never be delusional enough to want to delay the inevitable as I have awareness that existence isn't worth enduring, the thought of being trapped here is completely unappealing in the first place.

 

[Ontwon]

I think it CAN get better is more appropriate just like it can get worse but neither of those are foregone conclusions. Although to be fair life does seem to be heavily weighted towards suffering so maybe it can get better and at some point it will get worse.

 

[skin6skin]

it can get better but nobody really knows who is going to get better or not, that's why it pisses me off as well when people say it.

 

[EternalDaydreaming]

Yes because my life has only been downhill for a year

 

[blue_muse]

I don't get mad, rather, I don't listen because the person saying it gets better is more or less trying to shut down the uncomfortable things heard.

 

[Lucilius]

Just nod along and ignore.

 

[hana0]

I just ignore it. I think people who say those things don't really get depression. I can have things objectively getting better but it's my mind that's poisoning my life. I don't have any major problems going on right now but I'm still miserable. Countless times things "got better" for me but I still ended up depressed.

 

[Nikalakon]

People just don't know. They may even truly mean well, but they don't know what to say or what to do. They don't understand the pain because they don't feel the pain. They either never experienced it or in any case, they don't experience it right now.

For some people, it gets better, for others, it doesn't. These platitudes are just their way of coping with an uncomfortable situation. That's why it's so annoying for the person who it's being told to. Even when talking to someone being so in pain as being suicidal, people are naturally so self-centered that they are inclined to say what makes the situation easy for them. They feel their own uneasiness and try to escape it.

I wish that one day people would feel maybe just for an instant what it is to be suicidal...

 

[Xta4Love]

I get angry. It's a fucking lie. Im 36 and since I was 14 I spend my life in hell. The last 3 years were the worst. That is why Im planning CBT soon. It doesnt get fucking better.

 

[OceanBlue]

it feels like a lie they tell people just so they won't ctb

It's dishonest and deceitful. Things may get better in the short run, but they can also get worse - the former is more difficult to achieve.

Also, assuming you will avoid an early death - you will age and the risks of getting ill will increase, then you will die. So, in the long run things definitely don't get better.

I don't think therapists are allowed to give you this realistic perspective or they'd lose their jobs.

 

[SpiderLink]

people keep telling me this even my therapist and i know they mean well but its just not true, im almost 20 and ive never found this to be true. i feel like if it were it would have happened to me at least a little but it hasn't. ? it feels like a lie they tell people just so they won't ctb

agreed, I find its an approite comment if they actually explain themselves

 

[looking_for_peace]

my GP drowned me in these platitudes after my psychiatrist refused to prescribe anxiety medication. "well, the biggest change comes from within :)" among other trite bullshit. thanks man, but I'm mentally ill and suicidal. at this point, I don't care if they're well intentioned. if I'm told to "just stay hopeful bro!" or something along similar lines, my response will be equally condescending.