Does anyone else feel kind of sad that it’s come to this?

[sserafim]

Some people seem to have a much longer and deeper plan.

What do you mean by that?

 

[random_user]

Honestly yes and I totally get what you mean. In my case the fact that I was born pretty privileged in a first world country, have a stable job, more than enough mkney etc makes it even sadder and more disappointing that things are like they are.

 

[Homo erectus]

What do you mean by that?

Some people retire when they feel safe for the rest of their life. But some work on till the very end and make plans beyond their lifetime as if their life will not end. Maybe they think they will come back to enjoy the fruit.

 

[sserafim]

Some people retire when they feel safe for the rest of their life. But some work on till the very end and make plans beyond their lifetime as if their life will not end. Maybe they think they will come back to enjoy the fruit.

Oh okay, thanks for the clarification. I forgot to add this in my quote:

"Do some people don't really die? They just change body"

Does this mean that people get reincarnated?

 

[Homo erectus]

Oh okay, thanks for the clarification. I forgot to add this in my quote:

"Do some people don't really die? They just change body"

Does this mean that people get reincarnated?

Knowledge of reincarnation requires access to a higher dimension to identify the different lives as one. Does simple death open up the higher dimensions? Maybe not. Some people claim to have access to higher dimensions under mediation or drugs. But they haven't brought back much shareable insight. Are we actually living multiple lives continuously, switching views as dreams? Reality affects dreams. Dreams affect reality. Death is the end of one dream... Just thinking aloud.

 

[RemainingDubious]

My parents view me as a failure because I failed to launch into the workforce/real world. However, I think that the world just wasn't built or meant for me…

Do you view your parents as a success? If not does it actually matter how they view you? They don't define you, nobody does unless you allow them to.

Who was the world built for? Why did they feel the need to build it?

i personally find it sad that what i personally think and feel doesn't actually matter in the bigger picture. Most people's thoughts and feelings don't matter, never have mattered and never will matter either.

A hundred years from now who will care how we felt and how we thought in this moment of time?

A thousand years from now who will care about us and our personal existence?

i personally find it sad how selfish people can be instead of attempting to make others finite time here a little bit more pleasant.

 

[sserafim]

Do you view your parents as a success? If not does it actually matter how they view you? They don't define you, nobody does unless you allow them to.

Who was the world built for? Why did they feel the need to build it?

i personally find it sad that what i personally think and feel doesn't actually matter in the bigger picture. Most people's thoughts and feelings don't matter, never have mattered and never will matter either.

A hundred years from now who will care how we felt and how we thought in this moment of time?

A thousand years from now who will care about us and our personal existence?

i personally find it sad how selfish people can be instead of attempting to make others finite time here a little bit more pleasant.

I view my parents as a success, they're pretty successful in their careers. They're also successful according to society's standards.

The world was built for neurotypicals, not neurodivergents like me. It's especially hard being neurodivergent in this world, even more so if you have ASD.

I guess I care too much about what other people think about me…

 

[RemainingDubious]

I view my parents as a success, they're pretty successful in their careers. They're also successful according to society's standards.

The world was built for neurotypicals, not neurodivergents like me. It's especially hard being neurodivergent in this world, even more so if you have ASD.

I guess I care too much about what other people think about me…

I view my parents as a success, they're pretty successful in their careers. They're also successful according to society's standards.

The world was built for neurotypicals, not neurodivergents like me. It's especially hard being neurodivergent in this world, even more so if you have ASD.

I guess I care too much about what other people think about me…

It's impossible to please everyone.
Why allow yourself to care about what others think about you so much? Would the people whose opinions you value most, equally care what you think about them?

Opinions aren't necessarily factual either.

i don't mean any offence here but are your parents truly successful? Who defines success? Is their careers vital to the world? Does the standard of society matter? i'm not passing judgement as i'm in no position to. i don't know the relevant information to form an educational opinion either.

Could it not be possible your parents could be viewed as failures to others?

If i was a parent it wouldn't matter if i had a good career and was viewed as successful by society. i'd personally feel like a failure if i had a child who was left to feel sad and like a failure.

What good is a successful career if you've failed your family?

Sorry if that has came across as judgmental, that wasn't my intention.

 

[lifewasawillowtv]

I do agree it's sad, it's sad that societal constructs and expectations as well as personal circumstances push us to something such as ctb. Unfortunately in these cases there's no other option. It's kinda like being in an alley surrounded on all sides, sometimes you can't escape any other way and have to resort to these things.

 

[mrelief82]

I personally had a good start and circumstances too. I was doing alright for 36 years and this started … it makes me very sad especially I was close to recovery but been mislead , that's makes me even more sad knowing there was a chance …. And makes me more suicidal knowing that there is no more

 

[timetodie24]

Not really. I think my parents are sad it ended up this way. I'm similar in some ways to you, not rich area and average university but I also have asd and was always 'high achiever' growing up, then got my undergrad and masters. Now back home with my parents rotting away and not putting any of it to use.
But I'm not really sad about it, I think younger me would be. But at the moment, i'm too numb and disinterested in life. I don't want a high flying job, travel, money, family or any of it. None of it appeals to me anymore. I want death not a different life. I can see how it would seem sad to others, always told i had a 'bright future' and look at me now …. But for me I don't care, it's not sad, it's just how it is

 

[cyandude]

I hate this. I hate how life is just about survival and competition. I hate how adulthood is basically modern-day slavery and how people have to work for a living just to survive. I hate how people have to become slaves to capitalism and society for the majority of their adult lives. Personally, I'm refusing to participate in the system, I don't want to conform. I don't want to compete with others in the capitalist rat race, I guess I'm voluntarily opting out. I'm also at a disadvantage anyways because everything is about social interaction and talking to/interacting with people, you'll have to socialize wherever you go. I wish that I didn't have to (eventually) participate in society and instead could escape it.

Yesss I ultra agree with you!!! I am also voluntarily opting out of the rat race and opting out of this morbid reality. Everything's about the amount of effort you put into shit but when you have no vital energy left to do anything and no interest in doing anything due to anhedonia, you're just kinda left to die, so that's what i'm gonna do, i'll CTB eventually and I'll be forever in peace.

 

[SadGoose]

Does anyone else feel kind of sad that it's come to this? Personally, I guess I had a pretty privileged upbringing, I was born and grew up in one of America's richest towns, and then went to an elite high school and then one of the best colleges. I think that I had many opportunities along the way to succeed, but because of my neurotype (ASD), I failed and became a hiki after college. My parents view me as a failure because I failed to launch into the workforce/real world. However, I think that the world just wasn't built or meant for me…

Similar story with me. Grew up in a relatively poor town (bottom 20% of Australia), but my parents are/were high income (>200k AUD combined). If I was a different person things could have been so different.

 

[LetMeBeSad]

Not so much sad as angry. There is sadness over the many things that have happened in my life but, I am mostly just angry that I see suicide as the only logical response to this absurd reality.

The only way to win is to not play the game. But only because the game itself is fucking rigged and filled with bullshit.

 

[Final_Choice]

I've grieved what could have been already, it still makes me sad sometimes but I'm just counting down the days at this point. I think one should keep trying to the very end, just in case, so I'll keep giving it what I've got for a little bit longer until my planned date. Though, it's so bad I don't think I'm even capable of enjoying life if everything was suddenly fixed. I'm just a husk of my former self, now I just want to put the rest of me to sleep so I can finally rest.

 

[whats_the_point]

Yes. I know others have had it worse and have managed to do something with their lives. There wasn't a want of money when I was growing up but I wouldn't say I had an emotionally stable childhood. The older I get, the more I realize I didn't get through it unscathed. That pisses me off - why can't the scars of childhood remain in childhood. Why do they have to follow me into adulthood.

I had a good education, good grades and joined the workforce. I even had a great job for a while but I lost all sense of purpose. The job paid well but I couldn't get myself to do it everyday because it was the most pointless job ever (the book Bullshit Jobs gave me perspective here). I burnt out and now am scared of doing anything to get myself out of this rut. Also, I don't see why I should. Even if I go back to the workforce and get an awesome job (whatever that means), I'll still feel purposeless. Meds and therapy didn't help and my parents think marrying me off is the best solution. I don't want to get married as I see that as a literal ball and chain.

There's nothing that I want out of life though, there's nothing that I want to become. Ever since I was little, I didn't even have a dream job/career, there was nothing that I wanted to be. I don't want to become just another NPC normie, I don't want to become just another slave to society and the system. I also don't want what most people want in life, the checklist society has for being successful never appealed to me.

So true. The checklist for success as defined by society depressed me even more. 1) Car - You're telling me I have to get a vehicle to get me from point A to B while I get anxiety driving in horrible conditions (country-specific) and I have to pay tons for fuel, maintenance and insurance. 2) House - Again, living in one unit of a tall building with a 100 other people does not appeal to me. Also, I'd have to work 12 hours a day at minimum to pay off house loans for the next 25 years of my life so when am I actually going to live in this house. 3) Marriage - Most marriages fail and the DV statistics scare me. There's no freedom in "settling down" and being tied down with another person. 4) Children - I cannot raise a child while I suffer from mental illnesses myself. I cannot pass on trauma to innocent children who had no say in being brough into this world.

 

[NeedAnEscape]

I can relate to that feeling. I remember being a kid – excited to explore the world and having grand dreams. Now, the thought of the future seems fainter than ever before. Summer feels so intangible, and I don't want to keep living beyond June. Everything that I have done is completely meaningless. I have been running on distractions to avoid my feelings of despair. I was presented with multitudes of opportunities to make a difference and become a valuable person. Yet, I have either rejected those chances or failed to fulfill the ambitions I bothered pursuing. I know the world expected better. But I was never fit for this world.

 

[undesirednlazy]

i do feel sad that its come to this. although i think i am not neuro divergent i too believe that the world wasnt made for many types of people me included.

sometimes i think its possible for me to make a life/future for myself but i honestly don't want to work or go to post secondary ed, i dont want to be a part of this apatheitc system.

maybe ill become a hiki to before i ctb

 

[LikeAPendulum]

This whole month has been tough. Life finds a way to remind me I should've died, as usual. I've had ambitions to make a name for myself. I fantasize being like the great men of history. I want to show the people a better future, build a better future. Maybe my wings were clipped by fate a long time ago.

My ideal heaven would be for me to live through the few good moments in my life for one last time. Old friends at the lunch tables, video game matches, etc.

 

[fafnir_lol]

I wish I didn't care about material things or money, but money is what you need to survive and thrive in this system and it sucks. I didn't pass my important college classes, but I also didn't think I would live this long. I wish I could have CTB a long time ago because things haven't gotten better.

 

[Unattainable666]

Yes. I don't want to die - I HAVE TO DIE

 

[matt1968]

I kind of feel this way as well. I never wanted to live past 18 and thought that I would never reach adulthood. I never saw or envisioned myself becoming an adult. I feel like it's my fate and destiny to die young…

I get that. When I was 18 and things were okayish, I definitely had the thought for some reason that this was as good as it was going to get. Despite some efforts, that's really how it's turned out.

It'a a further at odds with the world thinking we feel we've reached our ending point when the normal world doesn't.

Sending you my best wishes.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

A little, but it's more sad that I haven't ended it yet to be honest.

 

[matt1968]

Thanks for posting this.

I was born into a decent and similar set of circumstances to you. I got to 18 but then because of some kind of condition / issue (ASD / AVPD / social anxiety) I couldn't manage at university. I did eventually get a degree years and years later and I have felt proud of that in the past in keeping going.

I have travelled a bit, done some interesting jobs, met some people but my body has always felt a degree of anxiety and nervousness. That ramped up a couple of years ago and I have had a really severe burnout / breakdown, probably through lots of masking, and my will and spirit feel broken.

Yes, I do feel sadness both for myself and some people close to me.

Only 2 or 3 years ago, I was okayish and thinking about the future. But maybe that was more unstable than I was prepared to admit to myself.

Like your parents, mine view me as a failure. I know I've thought in the past I'd have rather have gone earlier with people thinking more kindly toward me. But others have a different view of what I've done.

I posted something yesterday to ask the question whether i / we have got as far as we could or not made the most of good conditions.

Thank you for posting this.

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

Yeah, even though I had a bit of rougher start... but still it wasn't completely fucked up from the beginning.
I had many dreams and hopes for the future that died and now I am empty.

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

I don't think I've ever tried or heard of that, thanks for letting me know about it

ABA is not a great option for folks with ASD - there has bee a lot written on the ableism about ABA and how it's harmful (source: https://nsadvocate.org/2018/07/11/t...ction-between-gay-conversion-therapy-and-aba/).

I have so much empathy as I also have ASD and don't feel I can cope in this world and am sad it has come to this. I try to find joy in life but am also planning around CTB as a special interest now, and it's like I'm the 6 year old who's scared of the world. I've never felt this alone.

 

[Ambivalent1]

Does anyone else feel kind of sad that it's come to this? Personally, I guess I had a pretty privileged upbringing, I was born and grew up in one of America's richest towns, and then went to an elite high school and then one of the best colleges. I think that I had many opportunities along the way to succeed, but because of my neurotype (ASD), I failed and became a hiki after college. My parents view me as a failure because I failed to launch into the workforce/real world. However, I think that the world just wasn't built or meant for me…

Yeah. My life was born into tragedy destined for greatness after years of struggle or depraved villainy. But I won't be falling into either except the void in-between.

 

[InAgony]

Some people succeed and have everything, others don't and have little. I feel incredibly sad sometimes to realise that I got the short straw in life so to speak. You don't want it to be true that it's your life that failed. I guess it's a feeling of great loss. My problems started as a toddler and multipled throughout life. It is sad.

Ya I'm sad I never got to experience love or a career

I can relate. I'm also sad I've missed out on all the experiences of life, travelling, having children....so much.

 

[Linda]

Perhaps another way of saying what you write in your post is that you haven't yet found your place in the world. Clearly, that place will be different than the one your parents wanted, but so what?

 

[Arachno]

Yes, I'm in a somewhat simillar position, I also had some hopes and dreams for life, but I just can't function in this world properly and my future looks bleak. I feel like CTB is my only real option now. I just wish I was a functioning, capable person, but that's exactly what I'm never going to be.

I think that the world just wasn't built or meant for me…

I can very much relate to this.