Yes, I really do and the fact that suicide is so inaccessible is why I feel so trapped here. I find it so hellish and horrible how we cannot just have the option to easily cease existing in a guaranteed way. What terrifies me is the thought of trying to die going wrong and leading to way worse suffering as a result, it's so disgusting how there is no acceptance towards suicide.
I find it evil how there is the absence of peaceful, guaranteed ways to die for all, it'd be such a relief if I could access a peaceful way to cease existing like Nembutal, I really wish N is accessible, it'd prevent so much meaningless, unnecessary suffering to allow people that option.