Discussion Do you wish you were never born?

[Trakehner]

Yes. Very much. I resent my parents for having me

 

[Zanmato]

Yeah, and I wish that from many years now

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Yes. Life hasn't been all bad but it feels like the bad outweighed the good.

Plus, I wouldn't be in the position now where- either I struggle on or, I put other people through something upsetting. If I hadn't been born, my death and especially suicide wouldn't affect anyone. But regardless, I don't appreciate having that decision to make.

I also don't like it that no matter how bad things get, it's very difficult to leave this place on our own terms- full stop. Even people in genuinely terrible circumstances (it seems to me,) are sometimes denied assisted suicide. Simply the prospect of being alive somewhere where your situation can be dire and your options to escape it are so risky, you could survive in an even worse state is pretty terrifying.

I don't appreciate most of the things being alive forced on me. I didn't enjoy seeing multiple family members become ill and die. I don't like the pressure of having to wage slave to support myself or be seen as a failure if I don't. I don't enjoy all the constant maintainence life requires. Life basically hasn't seemed worth it. If I'm honest, I spend large portions of each day, deeply resenting having been born.

But then, I suppose- that's what I don't get. If I happen to complain about work, my Dad will go on at length about how he had it worse. How much he hated his job. On average, we (apparently) spend one third of our lives working (I suspect I spend more time working than that- 7 day working weeks most of the time for me), another third asleep. What on earth did he think was going to happen in the remaining third to make it worthwhile? It's like- you've just said you hated huge chunks of your life- so, you'd worked out it was shit! Why knowingly put another being through that? Misery loves company?

I did make a similar poll a while back. It will be interesting to see how they compare... We were up to 77% of people who wish they hadn't been born out of 259 votes.

Given the choice, would you have been born in the first place? Poll

Hell No !!!!

sanctioned-suicide.net

Thanks for the in-depth reply! Hopefully my poll appears so we can see if there's a considerable difference. Though, I doubt there will be due to the nature of this forum, and the people it draws. That being the suicidal or depressed folks. I know that's not everyone here but I have to presume it's the majority.

Also, sorry about your dad. Seems like a common thing with the older generation. They go on and on about how much harder life was for them, when housing was so affordable and people could get by easily on a normal wage. Also, the 1/3rd thing adds up for most people (8 hours work, 8 hours sleep, 8 hours to yourself = 24 hours). Let's also not forget about how much time you're supposed to have to yourself might be spent commuting, preparing for work, or doing essential life tasks such as eating, relieving yourself, and similar things.

It's weird though, because to a degree, I want a child. I might never have one, even if I live to the age where most people have them. Still, some part of me desires kids and it makes me feel cruel.

That's my take too pretty much lol
Like logically if I was dead I wouldn't have had to experience what I'm experiencing now which is sucky but I've had many experiences that I don't regret.
it's just that now I've had enough ig

I see that point of view. You're grateful for what good things you've experienced, even at the cost of the shitty times but now, you feel like you've experienced enough and are ready to go, I presume?

Once you are born, you are automatically in a race for survival and in need of resources,
food, water and shelter to survive. Which inevitably means you will need to find a job.

To me, this already makes any existence undesirable.

Ah yeah, the eternal rat race in life fucking blows. I'm not fully in it yet, as a college student, but I know I eventually will be if I make it that long.

 

[TAW122]

Yes I wished I never came into sentience, because all the suffering, problems, trials and tribulations that comes with this existence (life) would never have happened if I never came into this world. Therefore, I hope that one day when the time and circumstance is right that I will be able to CTB, exit this hellish existence on my own terms and with the least amount of suffering, agony, and hassle.

 

[pariah80]

All the time.

 

[Theresnoescape]

Yes definitely, I had an older sister that died as a baby. If that hadn't happened, I doubt I'd be here now.

 

[Chaos_Contingency]

Everyday I wish I was never born but unfortunately, I was brought into this world.

 

[vampire2002]

i'm not sure.
i think i just wish i was born into different circumstances. born to a mother who actually wanted me, maybe. born into a family that didn't abuse me my whole life. born without predisposition for mental illness.
but i'm happy i was born and that i got to meet the few people (and cats) i do love so dearly.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Yes definitely, I had an older sister that died as a baby. If that hadn't happened, I doubt I'd be here now.

I'm sorry for your loss

i'm not sure.
i think i just wish i was born into different circumstances. born to a mother who actually wanted me, maybe. born into a family that didn't abuse me my whole life. born without predisposition for mental illness.
but i'm happy i was born and that i got to meet the few people (and cats) i do love so dearly.

I'm glad you're able to see the good parts of life. Even if they don't make you stay (I'm unsure if I will), it's still good to experience good things. Never knew I was a cat person until a couple years ago when I got my first cat.

I had certain bad and certain good family members. Ironically, a lot of the decent ones have passed away by now. I can't imagine being born without being predisposed to mental illness. I think life would be so much more enjoyable and arguably easier.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

All the time. Life has been a net negative. Some positive things, maybe even a lot, but the balance is unequivocally bad. And as I sit here right now and suffer from the same painful ailment I've suffered from for over a decade with no sign of stopping, I especially regret being brought here.

 

[Vivir_O_No]

I'll share first. I genuinely don't hate that I was born. Sure, I hate the cards I was dealt in life but it honestly could be worse at the moment. I have a roof over my head, food to eat, I'm able to go to college (even though I hate it, I know it's a privilege not afforded to everyone), I have running water and internet, etc. I have all the necessities and some luxuries in life and for that reason, for the fact that I know it could be worse, I don't regret my birth. Also worth mentioning that I was extremely premature and my chances of dying were higher than surviving that, but I survived it.

Don't want to offend you, but I feel there is no privilege to be grateful for. It's like thanking life for creating our problems and then solving them.

 

[divinemistress36]

Not only do I wish I was never born, I find people that choose to have children absolutely repulsive. Especially people that clearly don't have the means to raise them properly and give them a good life.

Its sad they dont care that their kids could suffer a lot in life . They often have them for their ego sake
I tell my mom all the time she should have aborted me

 

[Musiclover338]

i voted yes twice

 

[Ligottian]

Its sad they dont care that their kids could suffer a lot in life . They often have them for their ego sake
I tell my mom all the time she should have aborted me

Romanian philosopher E. M. Cioran said his mother once told him she would have aborted him if she had known he would be so miserable.

 

[KillingPain267]

Yes.

Job 3:11: "Why died I not from the womb why did I not give up the ghost when I came out of the belly?"
Ecclesiastes 4:2-3: "Wherefore I praised the dead which are already dead more than the living which are yet alive. Yea, better is he than both they, which hath not yet been, who hath not seen the evil work that is done under the sun."

 

[anopenwound]

Yes. I hate being alive.

 

[sugarb]

I see that point of view. You're grateful for what good things you've experienced, even at the cost of the shitty times but now, you feel like you've experienced enough and are ready to go, I presume?

Pretty much, yeah. As each day passes by, I'm grateful for the pleasant things that may've happened and don't regret having existed on that day, but I also just don't feel a need to see tomorrow. Like, I appreciate the new additional experiences as much as I do the ones from my past but I was already pretty much satisfied and ready to go. Like making a 1000 dollars after you've already reached what you wanted, which was a million dollars, if that makes sense. Going over the limit is neither good nor bad but I'd prefer to just be done already

 

[Praying 4 a Miracle]

No, I've had way too many great experiences, and am hoping to have a few more

 

[JustAnx]

At this moment in my life i go with yes.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

All the time. Life has been a net negative. Some positive things, maybe even a lot, but the balance is unequivocally bad. And as I sit here right now and suffer from the same painful ailment I've suffered from for over a decade with no sign of stopping, I especially regret being brought here.

I understand that perspective. I can't really say whether it's a net negative for me or not personally, I feel like I'm a lot younger than many people on here, so I know there's still a chance of things maybe improving. So I don't regret being brought here YET, though that can obviously change given more time, don't know yet.

Don't want to offend you, but I feel there is no privilege to be grateful for. It's like thanking life for creating our problems and then solving them.

Don't worry, it doesn't offend me at all. For me though, I feel like recognizing the good alongside the struggles helps me find hope and motiviation during the tribulations that life in and of itself presents. I believe I can acknowledge the problems life throws at me while also trying to appreciate what I have, especially as there was a point in my life where I had lost everything. Anyways, my point is that I don't ignore the difficulties but I try to find a balance that helps me keep
pushing for now.

Pretty much, yeah. As each day passes by, I'm grateful for the pleasant things that may've happened and don't regret having existed on that day, but I also just don't feel a need to see tomorrow. Like, I appreciate the new additional experiences as much as I do the ones from my past but I was already pretty much satisfied and ready to go. Like making a 1000 dollars after you've already reached what you wanted, which was a million dollars, if that makes sense. Going over the limit is neither good nor bad but I'd prefer to just be done already

Ah yeah, the analogy makes is very clear. I feel you on that to a degree, but I don't think I'm done just yet.

No, I've had way too many great experiences, and am hoping to have a few more

I feel very similar, I don't know if I'd say I had too many, but I'm hoping to have a few more before I go

 

[RosebyAnyName]

Yes. Being born has exposed me to more suffering than is worth it, and none of my suffering feels "worth" having life. It all instead just feels pointless.
If I wasn't born, then I wouldn't have to feel anything at all. Seems like the better choice.

 

[asa]

the number of good memories I have don't outweigh my suffering, so yes, I wish that constantly

 

[Leiot]

I don't hate that I was born. I hate what I did with it.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Yes. Being born has exposed me to more suffering than is worth it, and none of my suffering feels "worth" having life. It all instead just feels pointless.
If I wasn't born, then I wouldn't have to feel anything at all. Seems like the better choice.

I feel I can at least somewhat relate to this. The suffering not feeling "worth it" at times. I've had some seriously shitty points in my life. Things I never had any choice in. If I wasn't born, I suppose I wouldn't have to deal with it. Though, I also have a lot of positive memories, especially as I've become slightly more and more independent, gives me hope things COULD change after college, even though I know it isn't guaranteed. If things don't go well, I could always ctb.

 

[painfuleternity]

if I was never born, id never have had to suffer this much.it sounds blissful.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Not sure. Sometimes I often do and I also believe that there are also many other people who wish I wasn't born either but unfortunately I can admit that I've had a small amount of decent moments in my life that make it feel slightly worth living. I know it's not a net gain but those small moments where I've experienced brief happiness make it so I can't fully regret being born altogether.

 

[everydaythesame]

Everyday.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Not sure. Sometimes I often do and I also believe that there are also many other people who wish I wasn't born either but unfortunately I can admit that I've had a small amount of decent moments in my life that make it feel slightly worth living. I know it's not a net gain but those small moments where I've experienced brief happiness make it so I can't fully regret being born altogether.

I feel like even if it isn't necessarily a net gain, it could still be enough to be worth it for some.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I feel like even if it isn't necessarily a net gain, it could still be enough to be worth it for some.

True. For me it's definitely worth at least being born and getting to experience those things. Not enough to justify continuing on for much longer though. Like a mediocre tv series that's been given way too many seasons just because only a handful of random episodes were good.

 

[-nobodyknows-]

I don't resent my parents for having me, but I do think the world would have been better off if I had never existed. I just bring pain to the people around me.