Do you think that your life could have been so much better if you looked more physically beautiful?

[Misery99]

I think one reason for my extreme low self confidence and people disliking my company is that I look ugly. I hate my ugly face so much. If I looked prettier, my life could have been so much better.It's my ugly teeth which I'm most insecure about. Because of that I can't even smile freely.I should have had braces as a child but my parents were too poor to afford it for me.If I was born to a wealthy family I could have been able to afford surgery and fix the things I'm insecure about my looks but not only I'm poor, I'm ugly and mentally ill too. Being poor,ugly and mentally ill is the worst combination. Prince charming only married Cinderella because she was physically stunning looking and mentally healthy even if she was poor. Being pretty and having a likeable personality is a must have for a girl to attract good opportunities in life. I would not miss anything about me if I kill myself. I see news about extremely good looking girls with friends and a good social life ended up killing themselves so what do I have to lose compared to them? I have nothing. I want to stop feeling this pain and misery. Some people have both good and bad days but everyday is a miserable day for me. I wish I had a magical drink or something which I can drink and die quickly. It's not having a fast and reliable method which takes forever for me to take actions to kill myself.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Nope, I look better now than when I joined the forum (ignoring grooming, fashion and demeanor) and it has had no effect.

 

[ClownMe]

maybe slightly, but id still be depressed as fuck.

 

[Simba]

I think one reason for my extreme low self confidence and people disliking my company is that I look ugly. I hate my ugly face so much. If I looked prettier, my life could have been so much better.It's my ugly teeth which I'm most insecure about. Because of that I can't even smile freely.I should have had braces as a child but my parents were too poor to afford it for me.If I was born to a wealthy family I could have been able to afford surgery and fix the things I'm insecure about my looks but not only I'm poor, I'm ugly and mentally ill too. Being poor,ugly and mentally ill is the worst combination. Prince charming only married Cinderella because she was physically stunning looking and mentally healthy even if she was poor. Being pretty and having a likeable personality is a must have for a girl to attract good opportunities in life. I would not miss anything about me if I kill myself. I see news about extremely good looking girls with friends and a good social life ended up killing themselves so what do I have to lose compared to them? I have nothing. I want to stop feeling this pain and misery. Some people have both good and bad days but everyday is a miserable day for me. I wish I had a magical drink or something which I can drink and die quickly. It's not having a fast and reliable method which takes forever for me to take actions to kill myself.

I'm sorry to hear that you feel that way ,i also don't really like my teeth ,i did do braces for like 6 7 years n i don't like braces ,i was told afterwards that there is no need to put something on my teeth at night ,so my teeth are back out again .. it's also i think why i can't close my mouth property not sure tho like i feel that i close my mouth fully but really im not cause my teeth are out ,im not that pretty either in my opinion ,i been scratching myself on and off since age 4 was told last year i think that it's could be skin picking disorder .. days i see myself and think some parts of me are thinner than other parts or fatter than other parts it's annoying ,just wanted to say i can relate to your feelings

 

[StringPuppet]

To a large degree, yes. Especially the teeth, mine are horrendous. I pretty much relate to everything you said.

 

[I_just_cba]

Really sorry about that. I'm in the same boat but it also doesn't help I have a speech disorder added on top so both of them combined means I don't do well in life.

I don't think people talk enough about how good-looking people have life so much easier. I know everyone is different from a mental health perspective but if you're good looking you're more likely to do better in relationships, your career, your social life and everything else. People look at me and they immediately assume things based on the way I look (and also when hearing my name) and I genuinely hate how society is so used to this and doesn't even think anything of it.

 

[loopylou]

Possibly. But I'd rather be more intelligent than prettier . Money is a big cause of my depression

 

[Futile]

Looks determine 99% of your life, being born ugly is a death sentence

 

[PaxAmerica]

Sure

 

[watereyes]

i'm an ugliwizziegurl.

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

Yes, you would have a lot more support and connections because people would be attracted to you and think you are a nice person even if you weren't. And you could regularly date.

 

[MellowAvenue]

Maybe. I don't think it would have prevented the issues that gradually led me to somewhat self-destructive behavior (Which would possibly ruin my good looks anyway since I'm pretty sure that's why I look like I'm in my 40s when I'm actually not even 30 now) but maybe it would have allowed me to broaden my support network more which would have been helpful. I really think how helpful being attractive would actually be is dependent on the situation one is born into though.

 

[death137]

Absolutely yes. Being ugly and short is the main reason why I want to ctb. Your looks greatly determine your quality of life. So if you are disgusting then you will probably live a very bad life.

 

[OpheliasFlowers]

I am an unattractive female (now in my 50s) but was never beautiful. Even in my teens/early 20s, I just did not have a beautiful face and to make it all worse, I had crooked teeth as a teen although braces did help that but the teeth themselves were/are yellowy, and just not nicely shaped. No lips, scrawny body to the point of underweight, poor eyesight since 4th grade requiring thicker and thicker glasses, long face shape (been teased and ridiculed about THAT since I was only a little kid) and then due to medical reasons started losing my hair when I was around 18/19 -- and *that* took a HUGE emotional toll on my mental health. Besides all that, I've had severe anxiety ALL MY LIFE, even at 6 yrs old. And yes, conventionally attractive/beautiful people can and do have mental illness...appearance isn't going to make that 'better'. BUT....if you are considered good-looking in a conventional way, you DO have advantages and opportunities that lesser attractive people don't have. That's FACT. There have been a multitude of studies done about this and how even little babies react more positively to "attractive" faces.

All that said, I don't know that my life would be any better than it is now if I'd been born gorgeous vs ugly. If I stlll had all these physical illnesses and conditions, and still had the anxiety and depression and PTSD, I'd still be suffering even if I looked like a supermodel. But to be utterly honest, practical and materialistic - maybe if I were beautiful I'd have married better and therefore at least wouldn't be living in a squalid, miserable apartment building cramped in with a husband who can't stand me; maybe i'd AT LEAST be living in a real house with a yard I could escape to and breathe fresh air and not weed and cigarettes and be too afraid to go outside at night b/c of the crime around here, etc etc.

It's a complex thing, and not just in my case. We're hardwired by nature to be attracted (at least initially and superficially) to the "beautiful people" and if you aren't one of those, life doesn't come as easily or with as many opportunities as for those beautiful people.

I'd choose to be born 100% completely healthy, mind and body, over beauty though if I had a choice. I've learned that much in my time on this earth. If you have health (again, physical AND mental), strength to work hard, and the capability to do what you want and earn your own money you can achieve a pretty fulfilling life. I would want a chance at THAT. Because at the end of the day, beauty fades eventually or can be taken away at any moment by an accident or something...but if you still have health and determination and a strong, healthy mind to get you through the 'normal' challenges of human existence, you've got a lot of advantages to work with.

 

[lofticries]

Possibly. But I'd rather be more intelligent than prettier . Money is a big cause of my depression

This or at least talented in something so I can at least have some pride in myself.

 

[LakatosDiogenesz]

Wouldn't have gotten bullied, wouldn't have developed a negative view of the world, wouldn't have come to the conclusion that life objectively sucks.
So probably. I'd be blissfully ignorant right now. Which is a complicated dilemma in itself. Be happy and blind to the truth, or know the truth even if it's painful?

 

[Ramirez]

Looks determine 99% of your life, being born ugly is a death sentence

I disagree with this sorry. I am not a girl of course but I consider myself not too bad looking. It's like pissing on a house fire for me. It sure helps in some cases with some people I dont deny that but many models and good looking ppl kill themselves. It's like having a pretty sports car. What is that gonna do if your personality is FUCKED and your family hates you. Sorry if this sounds conceited .

 

[FuneralCry]

No, I do not think so. I do think that looks can influence how others treat you and things like that. I am not physically attractive at all. Looking a certain way does not mean you are immune to physical illnesses and things like that. My dislike for living and reasons to ctb are not linked to my looks.

 

[brutalus]

hello, in my youth i was very good looking, but i was still inexplicably enraged all the time. i could never reap the rewards of being attractive. ive always been mortally afraid of women, desiring them intensely at the same time. and my shit personality has taken care of the rest.

one thing that happened was that i staked a lot of my self worth on my physical beauty and as i grew old, bald, fat and ugly, my self worth was destroyed.

but this brings me to a very important question that has nagged me all my life:

WHAT DETERMINES THE WORTH OF A HUMAN BEING?

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

No.

The mental health "professionals" are always saying to me "you are such a handsome and intelligent young man, why do you keep doing this to yourself."

It actually enrages me, because I always retort by asking what a person's looks matter in such situations?

It's just like them saying that it wouldn't be as bad if you were considered "ugly," and that's just not right.

I'm wounded/broken inside … what the fuck do my looks have to do with anything?

 

[Cyan1999]

Bueno, mi físico es un problema que tengo desde que tengo memoria, realmente nunca me gusto como me veo, no me gusta mi rostro ni mi cuerpo en ningún aspecto, siento que a veces simplemente no vale la pena intentar mejorarlo porque todo me sentara mal y siendo alguien tímida, me da vergüenza exteriorizar estos pensamientos a la gente que conozco y solo finjo que estas cosas no me importan para nada, finjo que no quisiera bajar de peso, cambiar partes de mi cuerpo que no me gustan (muchas xd), y recientemente pensé en ir al psicólogo por ello aunque aun me asusta que me digan que solo exagero y que es realmente mi culpa el verlo así, realmente nunca sabría como aconsejar a alguien con un problema parecido ya que yo no se como solucionarlo ya diferencia de lo que algunas personas piensan, los cumplidos no ayudan para nada y solo me hace pensar de lo buenas que son las personas tratando de que no te sienas mal contigo mismo al decirte esas típicas cosas sobre que el interior es lo mas importante o que toda la gente el bella cuando es obvio que lo primeo que ven las personas es el aspecto físico de la gente, pero no los culpo ya que no tienen malas intenciones al decir todas esas cosas si funcionan para ellos, no se ingles y supongo que lo dejare en español ya que seguramente Google traductor lo dejara como un mensaje mas incomprensible de lo que ya es jeje.

 

[brutalus]

Bueno, mi físico es un problema que tengo desde que tengo memoria, realmente nunca me gusto como me veo, no me gusta mi rostro ni mi cuerpo en ningún aspecto, siento que a veces simplemente no vale la pena intentar mejorarlo porque todo me sentara mal y siendo alguien tímida, me da vergüenza exteriorizar estos pensamientos a la gente que conozco y solo finjo que estas cosas no me importan para nada, finjo que no quisiera bajar de peso, cambiar partes de mi cuerpo que no me gustan (muchas xd), y recientemente pensé en ir al psicólogo por ello aunque aun me asusta que me digan que solo exagero y que es realmente mi culpa el verlo así, realmente nunca sabría como aconsejar a alguien con un problema parecido ya que yo no se como solucionarlo ya diferencia de lo que algunas personas piensan, los cumplidos no ayudan para nada y solo me hace pensar de lo buenas que son las personas tratando de que no te sienas mal contigo mismo al decirte esas típicas cosas sobre que el interior es lo mas importante o que toda la gente el bella cuando es obvio que lo primeo que ven las personas es el aspecto físico de la gente, pero no los culpo ya que no tienen malas intenciones al decir todas esas cosas si funcionan para ellos, no se ingles y supongo que lo dejare en español ya que seguramente Google traductor lo dejara como un mensaje mas incomprensible de lo que ya es jeje.

qué es lo que vale de un ser humano?

 

[Largeletters]

Sort of, but looks don't fix everything. When I lost a bunch of weight, I thought everything would change and it would be like I had this new life... it wasn't. I was grateful to be in shape but things were not perfect. Eventually, I developed Anorexia, then gained a bunch of weight back due to binging. I wish I could be more fit again, but I know even if I managed to scrounge up the motivation to fix the flaws in my appearance, it wouldn't make everything bad go away.

 

[SelmaJezkova10]

Not better, but easier. And I'd be just as depressed all the time.

 

[RockBot]

I'm awesome looking, so I guess not.

 

[Largeletters]

Not better, but easier. And I'd be just as depressed all the time.

This is a very good way of putting it

 

[Snake of Eden]

Absolutely. Most of the shit I am in by my own doing is because I have an awful self esteem brought to me by health problems that caused deterioration in my appearance. The world operates by superficial parameters and if you lack in them then you are valued less and there is not anything you can do about that

 

[Symbiote]

Not sure, I don't think being a pretty rose petal with a broken brain would be any better. You'll just get minimized and invalidated even more because "hey you got g0od LooKS"

 

[Cyan1999]

¿Qué es lo que vale de un ser humano?

Esa es un pregunta complicada, siendo sincera no tengo una respuesta para eso ya que no lo tengo claro, pero creo que todo seria mas fácil si pudiera contestarla sin dudar, ya que siento que lo que la gente considera como buena persona a una que cumpla con los 2 aspectos, ser una buena y bella persona, ser amble o simpático y verte bien sin presumir al respecto, es como el pack completo de lo que es agradable para la gente.

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

The world operates by superficial parameters and if you lack in them then you are valued less and there is not anything you can do about that

Agree. Good looks are like a form of currency.