Discussion Do you still have hope?

[Sayo]

I don't know, but this question is why I signed up. (I was lurking before) People's answers were illuminating on a lot of levels and I was gratified to read them, also to think a bit deeper about my own relationship with taking the path of least resistance to live.

I've been suicidal for fifteen years, and I've learned it's easy for me to think of how I could extend my life by solving my immediate problems for a boost and that occasionally makes me feel calm, but the sicker I get on every axis and the less motivated to struggle to be part of the world I am, the less I see that as hope so much as survival instinct. I often mentally juxtapose it with the almost guaranteed relief of non-existence and it's waning.

 

[CRM]

I have hope that I will find the strength to kill myself.

Hope for living? No. I go through mood swings, which make it difficult for me to get anywhere in life. The depressive swings will never go away.

 

[ThisIsTheEnd]

I have false hope that everything will get better. I know it is bullshit but my brain keeps saying "No, you're young, just wait a little longer."

 

[frank630]

Man, I just want to say, this is one of the best threads I've read here so far. I can mostly relate to the struggles of having false hope.