Do you sometimes have a guilty conscience for using this forum? Or do you feel bad about it?

[noname223]

Some people told me that in private messages. I have a guilty conscience because longterm members of this forum are described as monsters by the media. This guilty conscience contributed to me posting A LOT of recovery resources in the past. But I am too suicidal to continue that.

I think I go with "Yes, often" I am obsessed what people think of me and most average people would judge me for being on here I assume.

 

[Nobody Special]

no

 

[PoisonedOxygen]

Yes because Its an alert for me that things are not going well for me mentally, and I feel bad for sitting here instead of doing something to bring it up, it's so addicting tho.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

No.

I have no reason to feel guilty

 

[LostinTime24]

Nope only place where I can go that I'm not pretending.

 

[sancta-simplicitas]

Not at all. This is the only place where I can talk about how I'm feeling.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

No. I don't feel guilty for being a member of a such a great community.

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

guilty for what?

 

[sash]

No. This place is the most real honest thing in my life.
The one thing that helps. The one thing that makes sense.
That helps.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I have too many other things to feel guilty about which is partly what drives me to this forum in the first place. The only part I would feel guilty about when using this site is the fact that I know if most other members here only had my problems instead of their own then they'd be much happier with their lives. I'm probably better off than the average user and yet I still can't find a way through and I still feel the need to be here.

 

[drearysunrise]

Occasionally, but not because of the site itself. I just sometimes catch myself fixating and reading about other people all day as a way to avoid things when my own problems are too much for me to handle

 

[Ambivalent1]

Why would I feel bad about connecting with people who are also tortured by this horror show?

 

[BruhXDDDDD]

Sometimes I do out of a strange sense of obligation, but I remind myself that I still agree with the site and need to stop letting other people have so much control over me.

 

[_AllCatsAreGrey_]

Sometimes. Mainly because I keep it as a secret from my partner. I tend to be open about everything else, so sometimes I feel like I'm doing something wrong.

 

[thenamingofcats]

Anyone that has a problem with members here can get a life. Funny coming from me and this lot.

 

[abchia]

No, this place brings comfort. But no one that knows me irl knows that i'm here so i feel safe and protected here.

 

[sserafim]

No, never. Why would I feel guilty? I don't feel guilty about anything tbh

 

[wCvML2]

No, there's nothing wrong with using this site. I don't care about what the media says because they tend to be extremely biased. People can have suicidal ideation for decades, so it makes sense that there will also be long term members who stay alive but still deal with ideation.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Very occasionally, but not because of other people per se. I'm guilty of sometimes thinking that ctb is a young person thing - that you're supposed to have dealt with and accepted the crap in your life by the time you're my age.

I know that doesn't tell the full story, of course. There are health issues and financial problems and all kinds of things that affect older people. But I do feel like a bit of an irrelevant dinosaur sometimes.

 

[Agon321]

No.

I think I do worse things every day (from a society's point of view) than belonging to this site.
I don't feel any guilt and I don't understand why I should feel remorse.

 

[Promised Heaven]

Kinda?

I feel guilty for hiding my true feelings IRL and placing it here, not nesscarily using this forum in general. My participation in SaSu is a reflection of society's failure of how they treat the suicidial, often with forced treatment and traumatizing experiences at people's lowest points.

I wish for a better culture and a punishment free discussion of suicide and mental health, but for now, I'll be here.

 

[kyhoti]

Well, it's something that I hide on the the regular, simply because of the reaction I have gotten when I bring it up. So thats shame, the close cousin of guilt, coupled with fear...

 

[HarryCobean]

Only in the sense that I feel a bit bad about not really contributing. I mean, I joined a suicide forum and I hardly post on suicide even though I think about it a lot. I seem to spend all my time in the Offtopic section.

 

[rozeske]

No, I don't feel guilty for using this site. It's a place that has kept me going against all odds. If my rl was bearable enough I feel it would have helped me keep going for longer but there's only so much this site can do. What other people think of this place and their potential judgement towards me for using it is not my concern, they never walked in my shoes after all. They can never fully understand what this place means to the lot of us. I just make sure they don't find out and make my life harder than it already is.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Not really. The closest I get is feeling concerned that minors could be on here. I'm not convinced it's the most balanced environment if someone is vulnerable or impressionable- not to say that all minors are and all adults aren't but I guess there has to be set limits.

But then, I'd disagree that this site encourages suicide. It simply doesn't discourage it as strongly as other places. I don't think I encourage suicide either. I think the majority of people here have good intentions. We try to be there for one another because we are all effectively in the same (sinking) ship.

That said, I'm not sure if I'd be happy if people in real life knew I was on here. A part of me thinks I would be ok with it. As a society, I think we should be talking about things like this. There again, I guess I can see why people might feel shocked that the site could be connected to young deaths and I still participated on it. Still, I imagine things like Facebook and Instagram were the platforms for bullying that caused some young deaths though so- people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

I suppose personally, even if I knew about sources (which I don't,) I maybe would be hesitant about sharing something like that. That feels more like directly assisting a suicide. Still, I know how hypocritical that sounds because I did once put out a request to confirm a source I thought I'd found. Now gone- IC.

But, I largely try to avoid the people who hate the forum. I do feel bad for them- if they have lost loved ones but I wish they'd realise what this place means to the people who use it. It's quite possible that their loved one also found a lot of sollace and compassion here too. Still, it takes someone incredibly strong to see that I suppose. There was a mother once who came on here after her daughter CTB and was actually grateful that her daughter had found care and support here. She was amazingly brave.

 

[Crash_Bash_Dash]

I only feel guilty about using this site if it takes my whole time of the day to hang around here because I feel I should still engage in something that's even a little uplifting.

It is a shame we cannot be open about topics and feelings expressed on this site about suicide and everything related to it. It feels so darn wrong that this is the only place for most people where they can freely and safely express themselves about the topic without fear of judgement or in the worst scenario, getting locked up in a psychiatric institute for saying these things out loud. It is utter carbage we aren't heard or even vaguely understood by the majority of population!

 

[sancta-simplicitas]

Very occasionally, but not because of other people per se. I'm guilty of sometimes thinking that ctb is a young person thing - that you're supposed to have dealt with and accepted the crap in your life by the time you're my age.

I know that doesn't tell the full story, of course. There are health issues and financial problems and all kinds of things that affect older people. But I do feel like a bit of an irrelevant dinosaur sometimes.

I don't know how it looks in general, but in my country the risk of someone CTB increases with age. The most common age group that choses to CTB is people over 85. So it's definitely not just a young person thing.

 

[Orange Cat]

I don't. I haven't done anything to feel guilty about. I don't think there is anything wrong with using the site if it helps you.

I don't care what the media says. They don't know anything about me . They can't make a fair judgement about someone if they have never even talked to them. I don't waste my time worrying about what strangers think about me.