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HelloHell

HelloHell

Arcanist
Dec 26, 2019
443
like you're just going about your day and suddenly you get the sudden but strong feeling of "I have to die right now"
does this happen to any of y'all? I'm just curious
I've gotten quite a lot of this in the past few days
 
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Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Always was, is, and always shall be.
Jun 22, 2020
6,082
I've gotten quite a lot of this in the past few days
I've had it a few times lately due to the problems I have with my health.
 
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mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

Visionary
Apr 2, 2020
2,399
like you're just going about your day and suddenly you get the sudden but strong feeling of "I have to die right now"
does this happen to any of y'all? I'm just curious
I've gotten quite a lot of this in the past few days
This happens to me all the time.
 
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Deleted member 19654

Deleted member 19654

Working towards recovery.
Jul 9, 2020
1,627
It seems to happen a lot but it also seems to pass if I wait it out. It's like being hit with a huge wave of depression and dread.
 
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W

Wearethedisease

Member
Sep 27, 2020
13
like you're just going about your day and suddenly you get the sudden but strong feeling of "I have to die right now"
does this happen to any of y'all? I'm just curious
I've gotten quite a lot of this in the past few days

Yes! Sometimes I feel so trapped in life that I am absolutely sure I need to die at that very moment. I've felt that more and more recently. I know when i ctb I am going to be prepared, but sometimes I'm so in the moment and have the means that it takes everything to not do it. I know I have to wait a little longer but hell yes, sometimes I feel like I need it RIGHT NOW.
 
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k75

k75

L'appel du Vide
Jun 27, 2019
2,546
Yes, and it's often at strange times when nothing much is really wrong. It's kind of like random crying jags when watching a funny commercial or something. Confusing as hell.
 
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HelloHell

HelloHell

Arcanist
Dec 26, 2019
443
I've had it a few times lately due to the problems I have with my health.

I'm sorry to hear you have problems with your health. I hope you feel better soon
This happens to me all the time.
Me too. It sucks
It seems to happen a lot but it also seems to pass if I wait it out. It's like being hit with a huge wave of depression and dread.
Agreed. That happened to me too. If I can wait it out, it will suddenly pass. very strange
Yes! Sometimes I feel so trapped in life that I am absolutely sure I need to die at that very moment. I've felt that more and more recently. I know when i ctb I am going to be prepared, but sometimes I'm so in the moment and have the means that it takes everything to not do it. I know I have to wait a little longer but hell yes, sometimes I feel like I need it RIGHT NOW.
You just described what I'm feeling so perfectly. Thanks. Sorry this happened to you too
Yes, and it's often at strange times when nothing much is really wrong. It's kind of like random crying jags when watching a funny commercial or something. Confusing as hell.
Agreed! Sometimes nothing is wrong at all but I still feel the urge to die. weird stuff indeed
 
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_Kaira_

_Kaira_

This Isn't Fine
Oct 2, 2020
825
As of lately? More often than not.
 
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Lux

Lux

Member
Sep 17, 2020
61
Yes, there's always at least one day a week where I just snap, get really fking moody and want to just do it right there. But there's a small feeling that tells me not to do it so impulsively, so I just lay down for a couple hours where I just listen to music and cry while thinking about everything I've done wrong. Yeah it goes away after a couple hours but it's fkng awful.
 
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P

peterepeat66

New Member
Oct 10, 2020
4
at least once a day the idea of suicide crosses my mind. not necessarily the urge to do it but plans of how I would, how it would feel and how those I leave behind would feel. then some days I get the urge to do it and start to plan. I have not yet set the plan in motion but each time the thought washes over me the ideas of what I will do to ctb become more and more detailed so I think I am getting closer. I don't know if i am depressed or just fed up with life but either way, yes I do get the sudden urge to die.
 
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MiseryLovesMyCompany

MiseryLovesMyCompany

Arcanist
Oct 8, 2020
482
I get it a couple of times a day, though they differ in nature. Sometimes a strong feeling hits me hard and I feel like I can't go on anymore. Other times I just have a sense that yeah, dying right now wouldn't be so bad. A few days ago I was walking through a nice scenery, warm with a cool breeze and the sun was shining through the trees while leaves were falling. I was thinking that if it had been the last thing that I had experienced in life I could have been content. Although mostly it's just a feeling of accepting my death when it's not that strong I want to die now feeling.
 
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Leftover

Leftover

I'd love to have something wise written here.
Oct 10, 2020
47
Yes, it tackles me from nowhere, multiple time a day.. Mostly when I'm doing something I like or have fun doing.
"How'd it be if you didn't exist? It's not like you're destitute, you got immediate excess to at least two escapes".

I'll just blame it on my MDD. But it still hits.
 
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Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
Yes. It's happening to me right now. I skipped my meds though yesterday so that could be why. I felt too nauseous to take them yesterday night and the morning dose, I forget.
 
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Emily_Numb

Emily_Numb

Wizard
Jan 14, 2020
654
Yes. This is me today. I've had a really good 2 weeks and today I've had an almighty crash and now my only solution is to die. I know it's crazy, but it doesn't stop the thoughts
 
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Futile

Futile

Tired of being lonely
Sep 3, 2020
499
More of the opposite really. As in sometimes I get brief moments where I want to live, but it all fades away
 
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Ardesevent

Ardesevent

It’s the end of the line, cowboy
Feb 2, 2020
358
Sudden moments of wanting to live, and sudden moments of wanting to chuck myself out of the nearest window. Can't tell you why.
 
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wanttodie

wanttodie

Enlightened
Apr 19, 2018
1,827
Yes. It's happening to me all most every day
 
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LonelyNick

LonelyNick

They/Them, He/Him
Jul 15, 2020
262
Right now. I'm in an amazing Hotel, paid by friends, having "everything I want". Yet I'm still exhausted and want to die.
 
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Silver

Silver

The 21st century is when everything changes
Aug 8, 2020
745
Yep. Have to talk myself out of it because logically I know I'm not ready.
 
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mattwitt

mattwitt

# 978
Jun 28, 2018
2,307
"do you sometimes get the sudden urge to die?"

Well Isn't that why we are all hanging out on a suicide site ?
 
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BridgeJumper

BridgeJumper

The Arsonist
Apr 7, 2019
1,193
An actual urge to yeet myself right now because life is unbearable, yes.
I even choked myself out with my bare hands a few times.
 
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HappyMstake

HappyMstake

Not so happy as it turns out.
May 29, 2020
170
Well.. I always want to die, but when I have panic attacks the urge becomes a million times stronger.
 
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I

itachi of death

Student
Aug 17, 2020
139
I dont see the point most things in life I hate people judging and belittling you because your you
 
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broken_songbird

broken_songbird

Member
Aug 27, 2022
65
like you're just going about your day and suddenly you get the sudden but strong feeling of "I have to die right now"
does this happen to any of y'all? I'm just curious
I've gotten quite a lot of this in the past few days
This is probably not quite what you're looking for, but I've felt like this once. I'll never forget it: August 21, 2015.

I was doing important, novel medical research at a prestigious university for the summer and gearing up for my senior year of undergrad, during which I would be working as an actual adjunct professor of physics. I was 35 and my life was beautiful. Not perfect of course, but all the things I had been working to accomplish were blossoming at an alarming rate.

During the summer I spent a lot of time alone. Sometimes so many days/weeks passed that when I would finally speak to someone, my voice would be hoarse. A week before my fellowship ended, this handsome tech supervisor in my department took me out on a cinematic date. We rode on his motorcycle - something brand new for me - and went to dinner where he dramatically confessed the crush he had been burning with since I had arrived. We saw a show, sang karaoke, got kicked out of karaoke, laughed heartily, confessed deep secrets, and made out in darkened corners. We spent the next week seeing each other every chance we could get before I left. He let "I love you" slip when we had been drinking on the 20th.

That Friday on the back of his bike, it occurred to me how amazing my life was. How perfect it was. I was on the way up and getting the attention of some really important folks. A man wanted me for the first time in my life. As we rode around I realized I could just let go and fall off the bike, die like a champion. So happy I could die. The thought came back a couple times in the last couple days on that bike with him. I almost did it. I wish I had.
 
O

outrider567

Visionary
Apr 5, 2022
2,826
Sudden? Yes--As soon as the doctor told me she wasn't going to make it.......I couldn't imagine life without her--I ordered the book Final Exit right away....and soon after that the Prescription Pill Handbook
 
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H

Hope:-)

Enlightened
Jul 3, 2022
1,120
When I talk to staff where I live or have reinforcements of how much my life became part of a system I hate I get very sudden feelings of 'Ok, I have to go through with this.'
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,615
Of course I'm always thinking of ctb as to be free from existence is all that I want. When I have the urge to die right now this is always followed by the thought that theres no easy way to do this. If I had N I know that I would already be gone. The thought of a peaceful exit is comforting but the difficulty of suicide is what keeps me here. If only we lived in a world where dying is easier as then I won't have to think about methods anymore. I'm so tired of existing.
 
Mental

Mental

Member
Oct 12, 2021
38
It happens to me quite often but I think it's normal, I don't know, sometimes I guess it's a mechanism I've created from " listen if life doesn't work out at least you have this option" and it just comes up, sometimes it fucks me because I'm having a good day and suddenly the idea just pops up and stays for a couple of days, like now, I go with the idea of hanging myself from the ceiling and I don't know why, I thought I had improved.
 

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