Venting Staying afloat but not really

[EternalShore]

Okay, so basically, after spending so long on it (working nearly 24/7 on it), I finally got through my internship~ :) ofc, I basically ruined any chance I had of getting a job along the way [I very much failed at it and was on a improvement plan nearly the entire time], but I did get my degree because I clearly put in effort and got an A on the academic portion of the class! :) I already have a plan for what to do instead but like, now, that I'm not constantly fighting to keep myself afloat, I'm suddenly getting more and more depressed again~ >_< and yeah, I do tend to get depressed during summer, but it's just so odd to me how now that I'm not having to paddle as hard as I could just not to get kicked out and be down $10k, suddenly, I just return to feeling awful again~ :( like why wasn't I more depressed when I had zero free time? Like I certainly was miserable, yes, but I wasn't depressed tho!
ofc, this could all just be a slump for a few days, but I would like to know if anyone has anything to say about it if it continues and about how I can stop it~ :) regardless, am sleepy, so I'm probably going to bed now! xD Good night! ^_^

 

[Sleeper System]

Fighting depression is like operating on adrenaline. The moment you slow down, you begin to feel your aching joints. Keeping busy is what most of us do to keep from thinking about our depression. I could go days working and not once think about it. but let me have a moment of peace to think about how futile everything is and im back on sasu trying to find balance again.

The only thing stronger than the desire to die is the desire to survive. When we put ourselves into that mode, we can neutralize that part of our brain that wants to betray us.

 

[EternalShore]

The only thing stronger than the desire to die is the desire to survive. When we put ourselves into that mode, we can neutralize that part of our brain that wants to betray us.

and that's where mine was for quite a few months there, yes! >_< I'm sorry that the same thing happens to you too! :(
you make very good points tho, yes! :) I just wish I could keep myself busy away from depression with actually enjoyable things, making projects, and working a job~ >_<

 

[cme-dme]

There was a quote for this that I wish I could remember but yeah, often when you're super busy you don't have time to be depressed (as dumb as that sounds >.<) Then, when you have a bunch of free time that is when those negative feelings start to come back :( Like, when I'm at work and it's super busy that is actually probably when I feel the least depressed because there is enough stuff keeping my mind occupied that there is no space left to be thinking about depression! I worded that really poorly but yeah ;(

 

[EternalShore]

There was a quote for this that I wish I could remember but yeah, often when you're super busy you don't have time to be depressed (as dumb as that sounds >.<) Then, when you have a bunch of free time that is when those negative feelings start to come back :( Like, when I'm at work and it's super busy that is actually probably when I feel the least depressed because there is enough stuff keeping my mind occupied that there is no space left to be thinking about depression! I worded that really poorly but yeah ;(

yeahhh, I get it~ >_< When I'm miserable, I'm busy with being miserable, but when I'm not busy with anything, am just depressed about everything instead~ >_< it sucks how you have the same thing! :( that's kinda why I wanted to become a teacher at first! xD Since it was overwhelming, so I didn't feel as awful as usual during it! but well, 'tis too much for me when the kids don't behave~ >_<

 

[cme-dme]

yeahhh, I get it~ >_< When I'm miserable, I'm busy with being miserable, but when I'm not busy with anything, am just depressed about everything instead~ >_< it sucks how you have the same thing! :( that's kinda why I wanted to become a teacher at first! xD Since it was overwhelming, so I didn't feel as awful as usual during it! but well, 'tis too much for me when the kids don't behave~ >_<

I have no patience for kids I could never >.< I think that would just 10x my depression pfft