Venting i am a curse to everyone.

[smirks00ts]

even when I was younger I had the same belief. somehow, if I get into ANYTHING. no matter what it is. it gets worse.

I get into a new show/comic/interest? Oops! suddenly a few months later its problematic.

I meet someone and be friends/lovers? Sorry! They're now all of a sudden getting worse and depressed and more offline, or they somehow dont like me anymore either because of my dumbassery or out of nowhere.

I think of bad thoughts that I dont bother to try getting them out? whoops! they happen mere months later.

and if I leave said thing or whatever. somehow, they get better. at times at least.

I genuinely feel like if I CTB. everything bad in this world will finally end and everyone that ever knew me will breathe a little easier. its not like any of them would notice if I disappeared. I truly wish I could just do it (or ANYTHING for that matterl instead of sitting around doing nothing like the retarded fuck I am. i wish I was normal. I wish I lived alone. all I can do is wish. and i can barelt force myself to cry or vent. I want to be gone..I feel envy of everyone else who gets to CTB.

 

[tomame]

i feel like a curse too. the man who loved me most ended up dead with me after 10 years together. and he knew enough not to marry me .. but, not enough to get out before it was too late.

most my family avoid me because i appear like a lost puppy and it can be overwhelming, helpless, or stressful to people

i hate it so much. i wish i could just go away forever and not cause anymore turmoil in people's lives. i feel like a landmine eugh i hate it

 

[ctb_warrior]

i feel like a curse too. the man who loved me most ended up dead with me after 10 years together. and he knew enough not to marry me .. but, not enough to get out before it was too late.

most my family avoid me because i appear like a lost puppy and it can be overwhelming, helpless, or stressful to people

i hate it so much. i wish i could just go away forever and not cause anymore turmoil in people's lives. i feel like a landmine eugh i hate it

I know it hurts to see your favourite people ignore you. I have been there and it hurts.. but we need to adjust to that and be your own best friend, love yourself as much. There have been several days, i was all alone, i used to cry that no one loves me. That changed my mental landscape. Now, i don't need anyone. I can live alone without needing anything. I can live alone even if I am having some illness or if I'm in distress.
I'll suggest you all to do the same. Until you are on this planet, don't run after anyone. Love yourself and see how they run after you.
When I became independent, people started chasing me like crazy, and started to come to me for advice as if I'm some old wise one.