Help Do you have compassion for yourself or hatred?

[JadedBeing]

I think you can only have compassion for yourself when you look at yourself from an outsiders view who really knows what you've been through. It helps trying to see yourself that way, instead of bring in your own head, full of self hatred and anger

 

[martyrdom]

I don't have a self-concept at all, so no feelings towards myself positive or negative.

 

[itsgone2]

Pure hatred. 100%.

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

Hatred, I guess? Part of me wonders if my lack of Affective Empathy actually affects how I feel about myself. Then again, I have Cognitive Empathy, so I can look at myself from an external perspective.

Obviously if someone went through my situation, I'd feel compassion. I've actually got pretty attached to people that have similar experiences to me for that exact reason. But looking at myself, I don't feel much positive deep down. I don't have much ability to healthily "mourn" myself.

 

[Macedonian1987]

I have neither. I don't feel hate or compassion towards myself. I don't hate myself because I'm not a bad person. I actually have a reputation for being too nice. That's what I'm told. As for compassion I don't feel one towards myself. I have come to terms with my circumstances. I feel compassion for the people I will leave behind when I ctb though.

 

[unluckysadness]

Compassion. I don't hate myself. I did my best but I didn't have chance at all. I think I'm a good person. But living in a sick body with mental health issues makes me suicidal.

 

[CaptainSunshine!]

I am very compassionate to myself. I only feel self-hatred when I disappoint myself, but even then I drift into apathy and comfort myself. Perhaps I'm trying to be my own best friend, as many people advise, out of loneliness.

 

[kitkat9234]

I fucking hate myself. Not only did I ruin my life but my daughters as well.

 

[Greyhawk]

Hatred 100%. Whether I look my life though my own eyes or someone else's. I'm a burden to my parents and I'm not gonna achieve anything.

 

[Mr. Snrub]

Depends on when you'd ask me.

So a bit of both I guess.

 

[TwistedNightmares]

I suppose I am neutral. I don't feel compassion or hatred.

 

[NonEssential]

I've always had low esteem and
barely any confidence. From that I can say that I do not respect or like myself at all.

 

[Forever Sleep]

A bit of both. I'm more compassionate towards myself than when I was younger. I definitely went through strong self hatred then.

There are things I do still hate. I don't like my appearance. I hate it that I've let myself get so fat. But then, I don't actually want a partner now. And, I spend most of my time alone. So, it's not like I'm inflicting my image on people much! So- the intensity of the self hatred and embarrassment is far less.

There are ways I've acted in life that I hate and regret. I've been really selfish. I've neglected people who did so much for me. I make lame excuses for all that- telling myself I was coming out of what I found a traumatic childhood- so- wasn't it inevitable I would concentrate on myself? I know it's a feeble excuse though.

I am still selfish but, I suppose in a way, I feel more justified now. I've partly abandoned people but- only after they abandoned me first.

Weirdly though now- it's more like I feel like I'm on the periphery of life. I'm not involved enough in the world to make all that much of a positive or negative difference to people. Which, I suppose in itself is bad but then, I don't really feel guilty about that either.

Generally though- if I am mean to myself, I try to find something kinder to counteract it. So- for example: What you've done there isn't great but- maybe there were reasons. Not that that's enough to forgive yourself necessarily but- I find it useful to look for patterns.

Some subjects are best kept away from, as are some characteristics in people. Not that either are necessarily bad in themselves but- due to prior experiences, they might trigger me to say stuff I later regret.

 

[OzymandiAsh]

I don't have a self-concept at all, so no feelings towards myself positive or negative.

'inanimate object' checks out! lol

I generally have more compassion towards myself than hate. I think my desire to end my life is out of compassion, like putting myself out of my misery, considering how much I have suffered and continue to suffer.

 

[martyrdom]

'inanimate object' checks out! lol

Yeah! I have it there for a reason, it's what I am.

 

[OzymandiAsh]

Yeah! I have it there for a reason, it's what I am.

An inanimate object called martyrdom?

Lies!

 

[indianachrome]

hatred. for ruining everything

 

[Marbas]

I suppose I'd have to say hatred

 

[YandereMikuMistress]

No I dont, just enough to bite back once in awhile when I forget my place..

Then i remember.

I grant its only human to bite back sometimes,, and thats just another thing I hate.

 

[ifihadnever]

I use to have so much hatred for myself. Now I have compassion...noone else so somehow I had to learn to be my own best friend in a world I felt was very cruel.

 

[X-sanguinate86]

I hate myself but I think most of the blame for why my life and experiences have been a train wreck falls on the shoulders of my parents first, then a few more remote factors and then on the fact that I am a weak loser who was unable to exercise any free will to overcome the situation and recreate myself as a damaged but semi-functional semi-normal person later in life. I've seen other people do that even though they started out with shitty situations but I was just incapable. So if we operate on the necessary fiction that free will exists, then unlike those other examples, I am a piece of shit.

 

[Zyntkalla]

I would say more hate. I already had issues from the very beginning. Then, it ended up getting worse never better from childhood. I do have a bit but that more of hope but it's dying fast.

 

[JadedBeing]

I would say more hate. I already had issues from the very beginning. Then, it ended up getting worse never better from childhood. I do have a bit but that more of hope but it's dying fast.

Regardless of who's at Fault, yourself, your caregivers, bullies ... when you Look at someone struggling and contemplating suicide, dont you feel Bad for that Person? Thats you, me and most of this site. We all should feel a bit more compassionate for us i feel like

 

[nocatwaslost]

If I looked at myself from an outside view, I would definitely feel compassion for my personal history and I do in fact. What happened to me is not fair and not justified. So yes I try to feel compassion for myself and I should definitely try to build that more into my daily routine to not be too harsh to myself and instead be nice to me.

 

[fallingbehind]

I feel self-pity but not compassion. Im mad I have to live this way, but I cant coddle someone who is as awful as me.

 

[Zyntkalla]

I feel self-pity but not compassion. Im mad I have to live this way, but I cant coddle someone who is as awful as me.

I feel how you feel.

Regardless of who's at Fault, yourself, your caregivers, bullies ... when you Look at someone struggling and contemplating suicide, dont you feel Bad for that Person? Thats you, me and most of this site. We all should feel a bit more compassionate for us i feel like

At this point I don't think I have it in me to feel it. Before I ended up spiraling down. I would feel it but now it to hard to have any feelings anymore.

 

[noname223]

Self-loathing 24/7.

 

[LigottiIsRight]

For the most time I oscillate between indifference and despise, although I have traits that I respect.

 

[CTB Dream]

no hav slf no hav any