Discussion Do you have anyone irl with whom you can talk about your suicidal thoughts?

[LonelyForest]

As the title says. Personally, I don't have anyone I can be completely honest with about my suicidal thoughts. I've been struggling with serious suicidal thoughts since September 2025. Since then, I've made two sloppy attempts, both of which my family found out about. What followed were tears and emotional blackmail.

I live in Pakistan, where suicide is an extreme taboo. So it was incredibly difficult to talk to them about what I was feeling, but eventually I did. Opening up got me into therapy. However, it didn't help at all. I found it strange that my therapist also told me not to share my suicidal thoughts with my family, so I don't even know what to make of that. Over time, I started faking progress with my therapist because everyone kept asking, "Why aren't you getting better with therapy?" I don't know what they expected. Like I'd magically be fine after a couple of months? So I faked my progress. Honestly, I don't feel bad about it. I wasn't making any progress with him anyway.

So now I honestly don't have anyone in real life I can share my true suicidal thoughts with. Like having someone you can just tell, "I'm thinking about this method to die," and so on. I know a person like that may never exist. Someone who can actually listen to you talk about killing yourself without panicking. But I really wish there was. When I feel a deep need to share these thoughts, I turn to AI, but it feels so fake. They always bombard you with emergency helpline numbers. Do you have anyone IRL you can openly share your suicidal thoughts with?

 

[PainThreshold]

No. They'll hit you with some gratitude and religious bullshit, and talk about how much other people have it worse and how their struggles are "real" struggles whereas you're basically an attention seeking whore.

 

[Forveleth]

I have told a few people IRL I am suicidal. The response has been either silence or "please no, you mean so much to me". So really not productive. I should have kept my mouth shut.

 

[deadpornstarr!]

they almost all know , and its always just the usual shallow things about how they want me to stay and such . granted it usually comes out as a joke from me , im kind of bad at being sad about it ... i think its a defense mechanism thing , but i usually laugh about it :p

ive attempted before , and the family i was around for that seems to've forgotten about it already because theyre back to treating me like garbo again -v-

forveleth , i shoulda kept my maw shut too .

 

[itsgone2]

How can you? In many places they can call police who will take you to emergency room. Therapist can do the same. So if you don't want that you just have things like this site. Which is good at least a place to get support. But irl is very difficult

 

[LonelyForest]

No. They'll hit you with some gratitude and religious bullshit, and talk about how much other people have it worse and how their struggles are "real" struggles whereas you're basically an attention seeking whore.

Honestly, I don't understand what people wish to accomplish when they compare your struggles to those who have it far worse than you. Like, it never makes things better. All I think at that moment is that those who have it worse than me should have ctb even before me.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

No. Most people irl cannot understand it anyway.

 

[deadpornstarr!]

Honestly, I don't understand what people wish to accomplish when they compare your struggles to those who have it far worse than you. Like, it never makes things better. All I think at that moment is that those who have it worse than me should have ctb even before me.

all i think is that im a little pathetic bitch for being so weak to my problems :p yeah... its such a shitty thing to hear from people ...

How can you? In many places they can call police who will take you to emergency room. Therapist can do the same. So if you don't want that you just have things like this site. Which is good at least a place to get support. But irl is very difficult

this might be a hot take here but i atleast somewhat enjoyed my experience in a mental hospital. the admission was against my consent , and i was a child at the time , but there was something nice about all my responsibilities and attachments fading and the entire focus was just on "we gotta make this dork happy again!" ... not that it worked , but for a little while i actually felt cared about , for like the first time in my life. plus there were a lot of other kids there who understood how i felt and felt real to talk to ... kind of like how this place is. honest and relatable about it all.

(i met a lot of fellow transgender kids there too ... which is kind of sad if you think about it for too long ... but that was nice i suppose ...)

 

[caramelpudding]

No, I don't but I really wish there would be someone to understand that something doesn't really get better.

but in perspective if someone come up to me and said they wanted to ctb I would be concerned and said the something to cheer them up and will try to get them help… idk it would be my first instinct to help someone I love and care for

But I don't want that with myself. I want myself gone and so I get what you mean having someone to talk to without getting judged and talk to about suicidal thoughts would be nearly impossible irl.

Still a very confusing thought for me as I couldn't bear to see my loved ones think like myself. But I hope you would find that person that you can talk to whatever you feel. Hugs.

 

[Fadenself00_]

Semi-ish..

The main caveat is me needing to be very careful with my words and reasoning.
This is because suicide is technically a fundamental right here (Germany), but it is opposed by a mental health act, where they are allowed to hospitalize you, if they are unsure about you being mentally capable/not in a "crisis".. This + me being alone and having nobody who is always there to support me irl (quite the opposite, taking my family into account), you're effectively in a similar boat like a politically oppressed group would be - the system watching everything you say, ready to swiftly strike and lock you up under the umbrella of "help".

Nobody cares about the psychological aspect of all of this on-top, and how under pressure, you're obviously extremely stressed-out/frightened, when the police and/or a judge show up.
This entire procedure is ultra-ableistic/pro-life and it is incredibly hard to resist; you have to turn lawyer-speak-mode essentially, to have a chance at them respecting your rights... There is near-zero humanity in any of this

 

[Thanatos.br]

No, when I met my best friend 17 years ago we used to talk about this, he was also depressed and thought about suicide sometimes, so we could talk openly, but he got better, became christian and then a pastor lol, so i'd rather not talk to him about this anymore, but he knows I still want to die.

 

[atre]

Slightly, and it has only been with one single person whom I believe to be the most open minded person I know in my life. Yet even with him, I know my limits.

Please don't be naive and not openly tell them you are actively thinking of doing it, or worse, you are going to attempt it in X amount of time. If you do, you'll risk ambulance/police called on you which can mess you up even more. Imagine not dying, AND becoming a vegetable because someone has called the police. That someone could very well be your what you believe to be best friend.

 

[Deathiswelcomed]

No i don't I have tried before and im either punched or threatened in someway by my sibling and cousin or im told im ungrateful or that im fine by my grandparents. My friend just says not to do it and then moves from the topic. Im either perceived as ungrateful or as a punching bag or someone to ignore until its to late.

No one puts an effort into someone they deem is not worth it or that seems like to much of a hassle the world and people in it are selfish. Yet the ones who cant take it anymore are deemed insane or dramatic.

 

[WantingOut2]

No.
I even lost a friend of many years over it, after I was told that I was selfish; I say those who want to keep people suffering alive are the ones who are selfish.
I have no one to talk to.
I can't stand it.
Life does not get easier, it just gets harder everyday. Being awake is torture. I don't know what I ever did to deserve this.

 

[Scythe]

Nope, too dangerous, too risky, I joke about it at most.

 

[LilGhost]

As the title says. Personally, I don't have anyone I can be completely honest with about my suicidal thoughts. I've been struggling with serious suicidal thoughts since September 2025. Since then, I've made two sloppy attempts, both of which my family found out about. What followed were tears and emotional blackmail.

I live in Pakistan, where suicide is an extreme taboo. So it was incredibly difficult to talk to them about what I was feeling, but eventually I did. Opening up got me into therapy. However, it didn't help at all. I found it strange that my therapist also told me not to share my suicidal thoughts with my family, so I don't even know what to make of that. Over time, I started faking progress with my therapist because everyone kept asking, "Why aren't you getting better with therapy?" I don't know what they expected. Like I'd magically be fine after a couple of months? So I faked my progress. Honestly, I don't feel bad about it. I wasn't making any progress with him anyway.

So now I honestly don't have anyone in real life I can share my true suicidal thoughts with. Like having someone you can just tell, "I'm thinking about this method to die," and so on. I know a person like that may never exist. Someone who can actually listen to you talk about killing yourself without panicking. But I really wish there was. When I feel a deep need to share these thoughts, I turn to AI, but it feels so fake. They always bombard you with emergency helpline numbers. Do you have anyone IRL you can openly share your suicidal thoughts with?

SaSu is my savior with that. I tired to. Friends hit me with "Do you have a ready plan?" (they called well fair check on me before, so i cant even say them the truth). Also they dont rlly wanna hear this shit. My (ex) best friend tried to ctb through cut, so I thought I finally had someone to "share expirience". But she saw it as me making it about myself (I truly wasnt. I listened to her, asked questions, then was talking about my expirience to relate and to be like "I know what it feels like and here is what helps me" and the only reason why I was alive back then was because her brother literally wouldnt be able to take it with all shit he had to be going through, so I have to wait for the time he'll get better).

Anyway... My advice not to talk to AI about this shit, it actually likely to feed you misinformation and that can end ugly. SaSu has a pretty good community of real people you can talk to and most people here are pretty chill. Sure its not as good as irl conversation, but thats the best choice
Also, therapy sucks fr. I would assume Pakistan has same shit as Canada, where if they will conduct you as danger to yourself, you might get to psych ward. Idk, but I got at least bit of progress after i was brutally honest about everything except ctb. Like, I literally told my therapist that i wont come back unless I see at least small result from session, cause she kept dodging my questions with "You need to figure out how to get better yourself". Like maaaan if i could do it myself, i wouldnt waste my time in a room with a stranger. Anyway, that saved me some time.

Regardless... I fear health care suck so if you want any progress, it will be hard to get anywhere without pills. But thats just me. Not on antidepressants anymore cause none worked for me and I run out of money to afford paying like 40 bucks a month (it usually cheaper, I was just on two different highest dosage), but it could work for you, especially if your insurance covers (or I think Pakistan has some sort of free health care with Sehat Card? Srry thats not my line of expertise)

 

[vitbar]

Yes, a couple of people. One is who encouraged me to try therapy. I know it helped him with things, and I was on the edge of crisis when I told him. When not in crisis we've spoken about methods and similar.

 

[peacebenow]

It has never gotten me what I wanted out of it when talking about it to people close to me (non professionals). It takes so much bravery to openly talk about it and when your bravery is not recognized it feels horrible.

 

[Ilovemycats]

Some people do know that I'm thinking of ctb but I wouldn't say that I can talk with them about it... The moment I say something they get upset and talk about how they would miss me and that I shouldn't do it.

So I mostly keep it to myself, no need to bother them and make them worried about stuff like that.

Sometimes I do wish that I could have someone to talk about it, SaSu is great but it's not the same as having someone face to face. Though having someone lile that will only happen in my fantasies..
・゜・(つД｀)・゜・

 

[blood...]

no
i can't bring myself to do it
i know someone who had suicidal thoughts in the past - it's the only person i really talk to nowadays
but i just can't do it
i am sure that they won't judge me and would understand but there is no way of telling them ...

 

[Mrs. T-800]

I can speak to my husband and my older sister, but I mostly keep it to myself. I'd feel comfortable opening up to my mom and my best friend as well. But I'll never be detailed or serious about it, only to my own mind can I do that. Sometimes I speak to a priest about it for comfort and spiritual advice

 

[E4syW3y0u7]

It's too shameful for me to talk about it, i feel like that topic is hard to bring up, once you mention it, people change their vision about you...

Not that it matters anyway for me since i ghosted/burnt bridges with everyone already...

 

[shampoo sniffer]

not really. but talking doesn't solve anything in my experience.

how can talking solve autism?

 

[Lamentice]

No.. it's too risky to even try....

 

[A Sit of Doubting]

i have friends who know, but theres hesitancy in reaching out bc burdening them with my heavy feelings + their own seems so insensitive. the authority figures ive reached out to in my adolescence havs all failed me too, so that manifested as the present me not wanting to reach out on the likelihood i might be ostracized again

 

[eternallyjanedoe]

As the title says. Personally, I don't have anyone I can be completely honest with about my suicidal thoughts. I've been struggling with serious suicidal thoughts since September 2025. Since then, I've made two sloppy attempts, both of which my family found out about. What followed were tears and emotional blackmail.

I live in Pakistan, where suicide is an extreme taboo. So it was incredibly difficult to talk to them about what I was feeling, but eventually I did. Opening up got me into therapy. However, it didn't help at all. I found it strange that my therapist also told me not to share my suicidal thoughts with my family, so I don't even know what to make of that. Over time, I started faking progress with my therapist because everyone kept asking, "Why aren't you getting better with therapy?" I don't know what they expected. Like I'd magically be fine after a couple of months? So I faked my progress. Honestly, I don't feel bad about it. I wasn't making any progress with him anyway.

So now I honestly don't have anyone in real life I can share my true suicidal thoughts with. Like having someone you can just tell, "I'm thinking about this method to die," and so on. I know a person like that may never exist. Someone who can actually listen to you talk about killing yourself without panicking. But I really wish there was. When I feel a deep need to share these thoughts, I turn to AI, but it feels so fake. They always bombard you with emergency helpline numbers. Do you have anyone IRL you can openly share your suicidal thoughts with?

Definitely not. Even those who have gone through depression like I am are so unreliable. They practically beg me to stay!
All anyone ever says is just, "no, don't do it! It'll get better. Suicide is NEVER the answer."
They just try to guilt me as if I didn't already feel so much guilt. Some of them will try to make me feel fear for what happens after death, most of them will cry, and all of them will beg. The last time I spoke to someone I thought I trusted about my SI, I was transported in a police car to a mental institution! In my state, you just can't trust anyone.

It's always the same few words spat out with no care in the world. It feels like as soon as I bring it up, that suddenly I brought up the most offensive thing possible. It's so obvious that I'm depressed as well, as I'm prone to having periods of rotting in my own bed all day, staring at the wall and refusing to eat. Somehow, that just comes as a surprise!
Every time I bring it up in a non-joking manner, I am treated like I was admitting to wanting to commit manslaughter! Yeah, no... I am definitely not speaking out anymore.

This is why I'm really glad that I found SaSu! It's so refreshing to talk about it with others in a normal, non-judging space, because SI is completely normal! I don't understand why it's so stigmatized, but it makes this place feel like home. There's so many people here of different beliefs, genders, and cultures here! It feels great.

I don't believe I ever will reach out to anyone IRL anymore, since nobody truly cares to hear me. They only care about 'stopping' me from finding peace — whether I find it through CTB or not — and they only hold me back.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

no .

only here do i post some thoughts about suicide

but even here I haven't said everything or a lot

maybe I'll talk to some uncensored ai that I downloaded to my laptop

 

[UserFromNowhere]

No. Closest I have is online people who might know a bit too much about my identity but they only know about my ideation, not my thoughts about it and the honestly scary extent of knowledge I have about the topic.

 

[TAW122]

I have nobody and I sure as hell would not even hint at CTB, because when it comes to things like that, people aren't "naive" enough where I could just casually brush it off. At best, it would be inquiry and intrusion into my personal business, life, and things that I don't feel comfortable in them knowing... I'm glad the SaSu community exists otherwise I may have impulsively or even acted out more (due to lack of an outlet..). Even "professionals" is too risky; I am not risking to dance around words or phrases that all there is a "misunderstanding" and unwanted intervention and complications come.

Anyways, I'm sorry to hear about the situation that you are in and I hope you are able to find the peace you are seeking.

 

[Phobia_DLW]

I do but something inside me wont let me do it