Discussion Do you have a certain CTB date?

[sleazyyyy]

Hi, first time poster here. Does anyone here have a certain CTB date? What's the story behind it?

I've planned my CTB plenty of times—hanging, jumping, drowning, poisoning myself with oxalic but all these options are way too horrific and I couldn't bear the lasting consequences if I failed. For years, I have thought of it, not once have I set a date. It seems like I'm still clinging on to hope that letting it be vague will give me more time and attempt at recovery but I'm at a point of time I don't feel it anymore. I can always choose later is now hardening to I have to follow through it.

I'm curious though, if any of you here set a date, regardless of what year, and the significance of it. I know it seems like a small thing but I think there's a sense of liberty choosing when you want it to be done. I haven't decided yet but I'm exhausted postponing a permanent decision. I've searched for painless ways to go and the solution is right in front of me: SN. At last, I can plan on how to acquire everything necessary and I also want to share that journey because I'm living in a country where getting resources is difficult LOL and everything left is a date

 

[purrpetrator]

I don't have one, currently. I wanted to CTB on my birthday and my ex's birthday, but those dates have passed already. I couldn't overdose because of constant surveillance.

Now that I have more chances to be alone, though, maybe July 4th. Might just be me, but having a certain date to do it makes me feel in control. Weird sense of "controlling my own fate." Also gives me more time to tend to any unfinished business.

 

[N-methylamphetamine]

i

Hi, first time poster here. Does anyone here have a certain CTB date? What's the story behind it?

I've planned my CTB plenty of times—hanging, jumping, drowning, poisoning myself with oxalic but all these options are way too horrific and I couldn't bear the lasting consequences if I failed. For years, I have thought of it, not once have I set a date. It seems like I'm still clinging on to hope that letting it be vague will give me more time and attempt at recovery but I'm at a point of time I don't feel it anymore. I can always choose later is now hardening to I have to follow through it.

I'm curious though, if any of you here set a date, regardless of what year, and the significance of it. I know it seems like a small thing but I think there's a sense of liberty choosing when you want it to be done. I haven't decided yet but I'm exhausted postponing a permanent decision. I've searched for painless ways to go and the solution is right in front of me: SN. At last, I can plan on how to acquire everything necessary and I also want to share that journey because I'm living in a country where getting resources is difficult LOL and everything left is a date

i'll do it on my own terms