Discussion Do you have a certain CTB date?

[sleazyyyy]

Hi, first time poster here. Does anyone here have a certain CTB date? What's the story behind it?

I've planned my CTB plenty of times—hanging, jumping, drowning, poisoning myself with oxalic but all these options are way too horrific and I couldn't bear the lasting consequences if I failed. For years, I have thought of it, not once have I set a date. It seems like I'm still clinging on to hope that letting it be vague will give me more time and attempt at recovery but I'm at a point of time I don't feel it anymore. I can always choose later is now hardening to I have to follow through it.

I'm curious though, if any of you here set a date, regardless of what year, and the significance of it. I know it seems like a small thing but I think there's a sense of liberty choosing when you want it to be done. I haven't decided yet but I'm exhausted postponing a permanent decision. I've searched for painless ways to go and the solution is right in front of me: SN. At last, I can plan on how to acquire everything necessary and I also want to share that journey because I'm living in a country where getting resources is difficult LOL and everything left is a date

 

[Shadows From Hell]

I don't have an exact date set, but it will be within the next two months. I just plan on ctb on my own terms, and whatever day I feel like doing it. I plan on doing a few things first before I go(no, nothing criminal).

 

[sleazyyyy]

I don't have an exact date set, but it will be within the next two months. I just plan on ctb on my own terms, and whatever day I feel like doing it. I plan on doing a few things first before I go(no, nothing criminal).

Thank you for sharing. If you don't mind me asking, are those things you wanted to do something you've planned for a long time?

It's a gratitude I'm able to share a few words with you before your plan. I hope you get the rest you're looking for on the day you CTB ♡

 

[Spite]

I don't think I have any specific date set in mind, no. I'll CTB when I can't take it anymore. Though if I had to pick a date I have vaguely thought of November 6th as a CTB date, only because that was the day my father disowned me and forever fucked my life over. If I killed myself on that day, the anniversary of the worst day of my life, it would be done as a massive, permanent 'fuck you' to my father.

 

[HeyBoogahJr]

Hi, first time poster here. Does anyone here have a certain CBD date? What's the story behind it?

I've planned my CBD plenty of times—hanging, jumping, drowning, poisoning myself with oxalic but all these options are way too horrific and I couldn't bear the lasting consequences if I failed. For years, I have thought of it, not once have I set a date. It seems like I'm still clinging on to hope that letting it be vague will give me more time and attempt at recovery but I'm at a point of time I don't feel it anymore. I can always choose later is now hardening to I have to follow through it.

I'm curious though, if any of you here set a date, regardless of what year, and the significance of it. I know it seems like a small thing but I think there's a sense of liberty choosing when you want it to be done. I haven't decided yet but I'm exhausted postponing a permanent decision. I've searched for painless ways to go and the solution is right in front of me: SN. At last, I can plan on how to acquire everything necessary and I also want to share that journey because I'm living in a country where getting resources is difficult LOL and everything left is a date

I hope you can find what your looking for. I hope you can find a date and time that suits you. I hope you can come to a decision that brings you peace of mind.

Good luck.

Would you want to do a specific date if you got the stuff you needed?

I had a failed attempt and it brought me a lot of clarity. I was originally planning on doing it on my birthday. I was gonna goto a beach and drown after drinking a bunch, but I'd probably chicken out again.

I've postponed the date another month, to see some people one final time, to graduate and to finish everything I need to do.

I hope to goto the beach for the first time and enjoy it, even if I'm alone. I'll then eat a ton of yummy food. Wait the next day and then the next day I'll wait until I can eventually end myself. Probably in some sort of accomodation.

Thank you for reading.

 

[wine is fine but]

I don't think I have any specific date set in mind, no. I'll CTB when I can't take it anymore. Though if I had to pick a date I have vaguely thought of November 6th as a CTB date, only because that was the day my father disowned me and forever fucked my life over. If I killed myself on that day, the anniversary of the worst day of my life, it would be done as a massive, permanent 'fuck you' to my father.

but then he wins - and if he has disowned you, then he will not care anyway . . . he does not deserve victory, even just a symbolic one

i hope you can find happiness soon - you have all of the right ingredients in place. you have got through the more difficult years already. you have a wife. you have a home. there seems to be some blessings that a lot of others do not have. that isn't saying that you have it easy, but at least you have a decent starting point. hopefully it becomes possible for you to take advantage of them, because if you leave, you have already said, your wife and mum will be devastated

 

[pika401]

i really want to do it on my birthday, or if im killing myself with a train i want it to be a train that departs at 9:16 if my birthday is at sep 16

 

[mars2027]

The one I have in my username. However, I'm feeling worse every day and I don't think I'll be able to survive until then. If I manage to get SN, I'll probably end up doing it earlier.

 

[geepeedee]

july 15. it's my birthday. clean and simple.

 

[nihacc]

I don't have an exact day that I want to die, but in 10 days I will be able to purchase a shotgun. That is when my state ID becomes 30 days old since it was issued to me. If things go right, that's the method I'll use ...
Otherwise, I'll have to face my fears and lay on some nearby train tracks (probably after swallowing a bunch of sleeping meds or drinking lots of alcohol).

 

[bl33ding_heart]

I have a date I will buy sn which will be in 18 days. But I'm not 100% sure whether I'll take it on that exact day or not.

 

[gardenoflonely]

It was supposed to be today but my things got lost in the mail I think. I'm not sure what now

 

[silentroom123]

If everything lines up, may 18th or the week of

 

[Shadows From Hell]

Thank you for sharing. If you don't mind me asking, are those things you wanted to do something you've planned for a long time?

It's a gratitude I'm able to share a few words with you before your plan. I hope you get the rest you're looking for on the day you CTB ♡

It's things I've done before and have enjoyed doing, hiking, biking and camping. I've always loved being outdoors and want to do it one last time.

 

[PanaxMan]

Hi, first time poster here. Does anyone here have a certain CTB date? What's the story behind it?

I've planned my CTB plenty of times—hanging, jumping, drowning, poisoning myself with oxalic but all these options are way too horrific and I couldn't bear the lasting consequences if I failed. For years, I have thought of it, not once have I set a date. It seems like I'm still clinging on to hope that letting it be vague will give me more time and attempt at recovery but I'm at a point of time I don't feel it anymore. I can always choose later is now hardening to I have to follow through it.

I'm curious though, if any of you here set a date, regardless of what year, and the significance of it. I know it seems like a small thing but I think there's a sense of liberty choosing when you want it to be done. I haven't decided yet but I'm exhausted postponing a permanent decision. I've searched for painless ways to go and the solution is right in front of me: SN. At last, I can plan on how to acquire everything necessary and I also want to share that journey because I'm living in a country where getting resources is difficult LOL and everything left is a date

In about July preferably not on 7/2 since that's my brother's bday. But the summer is when I'll be dead unless a miracle happens

 

[nowhere123]

No, but I think it was after I graduated.

 

[thelostautistic]

Not an exact date. I'm gonna reevaluate my situation at the end of the year. There are things that can change which would improve my life so nothing is set yet. I really am hanging on though and it's hard.

 

[Bybye]

No set date but pressure is building up so it has to be before the month ends.
Tomorrow I'd like to go visit the place where I plan to die, do some reconnaissance so to speak. I also need to withdraw some money to leave for the person who's been allowing me to stay at her home. Get some tools to weight my SN and carry the water and anything I might need, then I'll be set.

I really hope I won't change my mind once I start feeling sick. I can't stay in this world.

 

[itsgone2]

I've set dates but I'm still here. It scares me. What if I can't do this? I really want out. I hate that being true but it is.

 

[itsallogrenow]

Think I'm going for the 29th May. Just after payday so I can pay rent and not draw any suspicion until the 31st when I don't turn up for work. Hopefully I'll be dead by the time they try and get in touch.

 

[sleazyyyy]

Hi! I really hope you can get the tranquility you are looking. That's what I want to do too, settle my affairs first without people knowing. May I ask what's your method if you don't mind me asking?

 

[100elephants]

i'm thinking either the end of this summer or in two years on my 31st bday. two very different times but if i can make it past this summer i think i could survive two
more years. after that my medical problems will probably eat me alive.

 

[sleazyyyy]

The fact that you're scared matters more than you might think. A part of you wants a way out, of course, but another part hasn't given up yet. I know it's hard, that life is too unbearable to think of, but you don't have to force yourself to get through on that date, you can always postpone it until that fright is gone. What are you scared of? Is it death or the feeling it might fail?

Still, I really hope you can cross over that fear and afterwards, decide whether you can let go of it to continue on living or to make peace with death and what comes after (⁠´⁠∩⁠｡⁠•⁠ ⁠ᵕ⁠ ⁠•⁠｡⁠∩⁠`⁠)

 

[Serena fuga]

I don't think I have any specific date set in mind, no. I'll CTB when I can't take it anymore. Though if I had to pick a date I have vaguely thought of November 6th as a CTB date, only because that was the day my father disowned me and forever fucked my life over. If I killed myself on that day, the anniversary of the worst day of my life, it would be done as a massive, permanent 'fuck you' to my father.

I carry a lot of pain from people who have caused me... I think like you and about specific dates that happened to me!!

 

[DoomedDarkCircles]

I was almost certain I would go in this June, 9. It would be by SN, in a motel. But I want to at least graduate (i'm in the last year, after all), and maybe I could try to change