Do you hate yourself? If yes, why?

[ve.nin]

.

 

[Darkover]

i hate everything there is to life nothing deserves to be treated so appallingly

 

[ve.nin]

I love myself, but i dont always love the crazy things i end up doing! I loved life, had it all. But found pleasure in fuXing it all up! My friends warned me, but i was to much of an ignorant idiot to be smart and listen to them! So here we are then. You get what you give.

What did you do that fukt things up that bad?

If I may ask

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I don't hate myself.

 

[gbi2]

I'm split between hating myself and loving myself.

Sometimes I think, I've never done anything to harm anyone - almost have in desperation but otehrwise I've never thrown a punch and I don't do thinks to annoy people or get 1 up on them or anything and although I probably could have done some charity work over my life I never have and my donations to them have been minimal, but I have still just lived and let others live. I think I have a very good moral compass and I hate seeing injustice against people.

But then sometimes because I haven't done much for anyone I think I'm awful and just a leech from people. I struggle with celebrations like Christmas or birthdays and so don't celebrate them anymore and I used to be rubbish at buying presents so I'd find excuses not to before I stopped buying altogether. I'm crap at giving advice on relationships or anything like that. I'm just useless in helping a social situation be enjoyable for everyone. When I think like this I hate myself for not spending more time thinking about how to do things for others.

 

[todeswunsch]

I feel like life offers more suffering than joy so ceasing existence is preferable. I've lost hope of changing this equation.
I also feel very lonely, and this is crushing me. I think I'll never be able to connect with other human beings.

 

[FuneralCry]

No, myself isn't what I hate, I just hate existence and all the endless amounts of suffering and cruelty it causes. I hate how I was so harmfully burdened with the ability to exist with no straightforward way to eternally cease existing in peace.

 

[tiger b]

I don't hate myself.

Same. I used to. I don't know what changed it. I wouldn't exactly say I love myself, either.

 

[アホペンギン]

I hate myself so much. I can't even describe it with words.

 

[Kundalini Guy]

No I love myself and everyone <3

 

[CouldaHvBeenARock]

No
I grew up around people who barely appreciated me, to the point that I started to hate myself
But I swore I would never be like them once I got the opportunity, I worked day and night to be my biggest fan
And did it miraculously

 

[Seered Doom]

I hate myself because I try to come up with stupid reasons to like myself, even superficially. Didn't work. I just hate all of myself and the biggest reason I hate myself is how I can be both obsessive and avoidantly hateful at the same time or in a swinging cycle.

 

[igl00]

i hate myself which is probably why I self sabotage. I think there's some care for myself but I don't think it's love… I would like to think so but other people are on another level of self love so I don't think I can confidently say I love myself.

 

[Sylveon]

I was writing a reply to this post and realised that it went over 900 words, lol.

 

[shotgun]

im just genuinely a shit person

 

[hermestrimegistus]

I fucking hate myself haha. Mostly because of regrets and bad decisions I can never undo. Because of experiences I can't undo that destroyed any ability for me to be normal and do normal average people things. I also hate my personality and how fucking weird I am. Too stubborn to just try and assimilate and blend in. Would probably be much easier to exist even with a fucked up past if I wasn't a god damn dysfunctional dork

 

[starryhrtz]

i dont hate myself but i dont love myself either, im just neutral,, sure i have a lot to dislike abt myself but i still don't want to be anyone else

 

[february in alaska]

Oh boy. I hate myself physically, I'm not attractive and painfully self conscious about it. I hate myself mentally, I don't have any particularly interesting traits, I'm chock full of mental illness, I'm not special or super smart or anything like that.

Mostly I just hate myself as a person. I feel like other people have some kind of personality, but I constantly feel like I'm "acting human". I don't know what my personality is. I don't know if I'm nice or mean. I just do what I think people want/expect me to do, and none of it is me. I never know if I'm being genuine or manipulating others for my own gain. I don't understand myself at all and being forced to constantly live with myself makes life a million times more unbearable

 

[Sylveon]

Mostly I just hate myself as a person. I feel like other people have some kind of personality, but I constantly feel like I'm "acting human". I don't know what my personality is. I don't know if I'm nice or mean. I just do what I think people want/expect me to do, and none of it is me. I never know if I'm being genuine or manipulating others for my own gain. I don't understand myself at all and being forced to constantly live with myself makes life a million times more unbearable

I never managed to put it in words, but this is exactly what I feel all the time.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I don't hate myself even though there are parts of me that are inadequate and painful to deal with. I'm an awful human (by awful, I mean in terms of functioning as a human, not the depraved and degenerate human version of awful) though I can't hate myself as.. it is what it is? I can't hate myself if I'm not harming anyone (aside myself)

 

[livinginhellnation]

I don't hate myself. I hate my fate. The cards that I have been dealt and my impotence to change my destiny.. But before you say, there's people much worse off than you, in poorer countries, oppressive regimes etc. True. But these people aren't as cognizant of my current situation and the hopelessness. Ignorance is bliss. I wish I was a rice farmer in Asia. The worst situation is not existing but knowing you don't exist.

 

[CTBHouston]

I hate the decisions I make because my drug addiction. I can't keep a promise for the life of me. My daughter, I miss her so much everyday and it hurts. Her mom won't even let me have time with her because of the narcotics I am prescribed, and addicted to. She's 4, every time time visits she begs me to stay, the look on her little face begging me to stay or come with her, teary eyes and no understanding of why she can't spend a night. That is one of the most painful things I experience, monthly. I love her so fucking much but I'm stuck on Xanax and methadone, so she cant stay. According to her mom at least. This makes me add more and more drugs to my living hell of a life. I can't look at a children's section at a fucking grocery store without crying. Every little thing in my life makes me want to CTB. I miss her so much. I miss my girl.

 

[Hevn]

Do you hate yourself? If yes, why?

Because I betrayed my essence, my principles, my pillars. betrayed my vows to myself. For wrong actions. For missed opportunities.
For failing to take revenge on my main enemy in this world.
For not taking enough care of my body for a long time.

 

[SpencerSees]

i'm unable to form meaningful bonds, and ruin the relationships i already have. i cause extra stress to evryone unfortunate enough to care about me onenway or another, yet i'm never satisfied with the care they provide.

 

[Cloud Busting]

I used to hate myself with the intensity of a thousand burning suns. It was an irrational compulsion, I'd say. Even as an elementary schooler, one of my defining traits that others noticed is how hard I was on myself.

I'm a perfectionist, and I have a very rigid, black and white view of morality. I'm a perpetual doubter and never feel truly sure, which diminishes my confidence . I'm very sensitive to the evil in the world, so I'm more likely to notice my own sins and feel a heightened sense of responsibility. I'm also very reliant on the opinion of others due to my doubting problem. Due to my sensitivity, the negative opinions linger longer than the positive ones.

I'm reminding myself shame renders you worthless and thus incapable of salvation and redemption. If you want to be a good person, you must forgive yourself in order to learn from your mistakes. We all make them. We all sin. It's the core of human nature. Honestly, what even is a good or bad person? It's more nuanced than that.

In a way, it is a sin to be so wrapped up in evil you cannot see the good. For every nasty comment I've been told, there's always a good one. For every victim murdered in a hate crime, there is always an activist starting a movement. For every sin I've committed, I've always learned a lesson I can use to create good deeds.

I don't always know, but I can always learn. If I'm often wrong, how I can be sure if people are right?


If I'm feeling bad, I'm not scum. I deserve compassion. Self love is overrated, but humility is a virtue. I humble myself and try to treat myself with curiosity and respect. It's more fulfilling than utter self-loathing.

 

[wanttodie]

I hate myself I hate my life and I hate living and need to end my life

 

[DCLXVI]

Because nothing makes the pain and emptiness stop except cutting or death.

 

[NeedAnEscape]

Why wouldn't I? There's nothing inherently good about me. My peers have infinitely more to contribute to the world than I do. The most of a difference that I could make in the world would be through my death. (Even then, not much would happen. I would just cause a few people to go through a lot of pain for a few months.) I feel selfish for having these thoughts to begin with. I have brought a lot of harm to the world, and I don't believe I can make life better for anyone.

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

No I don't.
I feel sorry for myself though.
I wish my life turned out differently.
But having an abusive mother and BPD didn't set me up exactly for a success.

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

No.