Do you hate the question "How are you" ?

[Lithium]

I do.

 

[almost_dead]

me too . Only ppl who really dont care ask this stupid awkward question

 

[sourpink]

yeah.
no one asking that question actually cares to hear the answer. if you're going to use a question as a greeting, maybe go with something like "what are your plans for today?" and not a question that warrants a long winded and personal answer.

 

[Mr2005]

Yes. I've asked not to be asked

 

[Soulless Angel]

Empty platitude with answers that are often filled with mistruth as a response.
I'd rather hear silence then the nothing these words bring

 

[Jellyfish42]

Nope doesn't really bother me. Its small talk that I've grown accustomed to responding to automatically. It's never really a serious question, its just like some sort of "advanced greeting" lol. Whatever the context its just people trying to be polite.

 

[Cant Maintain]

depends on if its out of concern for my mental health or not. If it is I def just front with a "Yeah! I'm doin great! Havin a wonderful time"

 

[JustLosingMyself]

Depends on the context. It's a greeting. No more.
It's a question denoting concern. Answer accordingly.

 

[Toptock]

Depends on the context. It's a greeting. No more.
It's a question denoting concern. Answer accordingly.

It's always weird to hear it from someone you know cares. I didn't know words could actually have weight

 

[SHThrowAway213]

I don't mind it, they are just being polite.
What I hate is when people asking me "Are you sure?" afterwards when I have replied with something like "Great thanks, you?"

 

[262653]

Depends on the context.

Yup. I don't mind hearing it from a verified friend, but I do get suspicious hearing it from someone I haven't talked with in years. Especially if after that they start asking me for favors, or to listen to their problems. This question shows concern, that another person is interested, but it's not clear why that person is interested. It's like saying "two". The common response is clarification: "Two what?"

 

[alfie]

me too . Only ppl who really dont care ask this stupid awkward question

Oh, is that so? How are you, @almost_dead?

 

[Worthless_nobody]

Yes!! When I used to work i would just mumble "fine" when I was holding back tears constantly. I think people just say it as a custom...I truly think very few people really care how we are especially in work places.

 

[Meditation guide]

What would be a better way to great people that wouldn't require them to say they are fine when they may not be?

I've actually in the past replied with the truth and it didn't go over well.
It's so cruel to have to say you are fine when you aren't.

 

[Chupacabra 44]

Yes. I don't like lying and people don't really want to hear problems when asking this question, even when it's asked by close family. Thus, I just say "fine" most times.

Reminds me of a quote I read, "half the people don't want to hear your problems, and the other half are glad you have them."

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I don't mind it at all but I usually don't have a real answer besides "alright" or "bad".

 

[Meditation guide]

I never say "how are you?" because I hate having to answer that myself. It also is so phony and shallow and makes me a little suspicious right away that the person is not trustworthy, to be asking a personal question and not expecting a real answer that is truthful. It sets up a dishonest interchange from the start.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I used to live in an environment with a shared kitchen. I came to dread going in there because someone would always ask, "How are you?" like they hadn't just seen me the day before. It was so mindless and felt intrusive, like I couldn't just go about my business in the space I lived in. If we hadn't seen each other in a few days, great, but every fucking day, over and over? I was the same as the day before, and if I wasn't, it would be obvious. It got to the point that I was unfriendly in response to the question rather than friendly as expected. Several of the women ended up complaining to the site manager that I was, for lack of a better word to describe it, bullying them.

 

[Lordsudbury]

Avoid the question at all costs, and reply with, "hey, how are you!" To differ the subject, and they will be more than happy to blab on about their life.

 

[Meditation guide]

To differ the subject, and they will be more than happy to blab on about their life.

That's a great idea but what if you don't want to hear about their life? Generally people who say that are not people you know except need to talk to them about something mundane.

 

[Ghost2211]

Do you mean random people asking, of friends that want the actual answer? Random people do it as a greeting. It's silly, but it's a social norm. If you mean people that want the actual answer is there a different way you would want people that do care to inquire about your status, or just prefer nobody to care?

 

[laura fines]

... It is one of the things that make me feel a weird people
definitely, i have more stuff like that,
but absolutely, it is a question that i hate
i am not able to lie, so i can´t say: i´m fine... but it is horrible if you have to say the truth

 

[262653]

In Russian, I think it's not considered rude to respond "normal", which loosely means "I'm the way I usually am. Nothing out of ordinary." That's how I usually respond.

 

[Caspers]

I don't mind it, they are just being polite.
What I hate is when people asking me "Are you sure?" afterwards when I have replied with something like "Great thanks, you?"

My mother does it all the time and it sets me on fire. Like can't you take a hint?

 

[ready 2 go]

No one actually cares. It's just a formality. How likely is it that someone actually wants to know how I am? And is willing to listen to me if I tell them anything other than "fine"

 

[sadworld]

I just say im fine, i would never give that question an honest reply.

 

[Mm80]

me too . Only ppl who really dont care ask this stupid awkward question

Ok AD, would it be better if i asked...hows your mom ?

Do you mean random people asking, of friends that want the actual answer? Random people do it as a greeting. It's silly, but it's a social norm. If you mean people that want the actual answer is there a different way you would want people that do care to inquire about your status, or just prefer nobody to care?

How are you rosey not seen you in ages?

 

[Ghost2211]

How are you rosey not seen you in ages?

More sad than usual, so a bit reclusive. How have you been?

 

[Lilacmoon]

It's a bit obnoxious :(

me too . Only ppl who really dont care ask this stupid awkward question

Oh, hey friend!! How are you? <3

 

[WOODESITY]

It's not that if they really care, I can't believe such, so I really hate when people ask, now thinking about people at cashiers, they often feel obligated to ask such, it only gets on my nerves