I hate how much SI and courage it takes to do methods. I wish I can get a disease and die on my bed.
Ash
What dreams may come?
- Oct 4, 2021
- 1,758
Not to make light of it but yes, in answer to the question in the title, one day you'll die. Disease, old age, accident, misadventure etc etc are all valid contenders.
That is correct. If I don't CTB, then I will most likely die from a natural death
willitpass
Don’t try to offer me help, I’ve tried everything
- Mar 10, 2020
- 2,941
Yes. That is correct. If you do anything to intentionally cause a natural death it is no longer natural because it didn't happen… naturally. So if you want to die a natural death then just keep living.
What I originally meant was death by disease, but there's no easy way to get that unless you get infected by an animal
Alexei_Kirillov
Waiting for my next window of opportunity
- Mar 9, 2024
- 1,039
There's HIV/AIDS but I don't think I have to specify what the issues with that are...
I guess VSED is also "natural."
VSED is my backup method incase hanging fails. I don't think it'll work, but I'll do it as a "cry for help". But, kidney stone are really fucking painful and I don't want to experience that again so idk what to do anymore
willitpass
Don’t try to offer me help, I’ve tried everything
- Mar 10, 2020
- 2,941
VSED has a pretty much 0% success rate and isn't peaceful either. The members here currently trying it will go days to weeks before ultimately caving. I made it 5 days before I caved. It goes against human nature to do that. Unless you have access to hospice level pain medication it will not work. It would also be a VERY drawn out method to do as a cry for help. I'm not an advocate for cry for help attempts to begin with, but that sounds like a lot of dedication to put into something as a cry for help.
How can you go weeks? I thought the limit was 7 days? But yeah, I have doubts that it will work to begin with. Maybe starvation then? It takes longer to die which means less pain. If I do it for about two weeks, that should ne enough for my family to notice and start caring for me.
willitpass
Don’t try to offer me help, I’ve tried everything
- Mar 10, 2020
- 2,941
The whole "3 days without water" is if you're in the desert with access to nothing. If you live in a humid climate of even take showers, your body can adapt in ways you wouldn't believe. And taking the dehydration aspect out of VSED is just going to make the process take longer. As someone with anorexia, starving yourself is painful. It is mental gymnastics. If you want your family to care about you, talk to them. Tell them you're struggling and need help. Don't try and prove yourself. Just talk to them.
I am actually smoking silly amounts to weaken my body to help my chances with SN. As each gram will therefore have more of a "punch". Just in case my SN might slowly deteriorate into NitrAte over time. Smoking yourself or eating crap will result in pain & obviously no going back after a certain point.
Also lack of sunlight & therefore vitimin D helps you NOT absorb food, minerals & nuturients all of which help to weaken one's body.
Also lack of sunlight & therefore vitimin D helps you NOT absorb food, minerals & nuturients all of which help to weaken one's body.
willitpass
Don’t try to offer me help, I’ve tried everything
- Mar 10, 2020
- 2,941
Low vitamin D causes impaired absorption of calcium and phosphorus and is usually associated with bone issues if it's low long term. It can also cause fatigue and hair loss, and some other issues, but it does not impair food absorption. It is generally not associated with GI issues, aside from some people experiencing decreased appetite. Avoiding sunlight is not going to increase your likelihood of CTB, but it is associated with worsening depression symptoms. Please don't spread misinformation.
it's NOT misinfo as you even said & I quote; "Low vitamin D causes impaired absorption of calcium and phosphorus..." That is what I meant!!!
My bones feel like that of an 80 yr old & I'm 42, so it feels they could crush easily. Say if I jumped from height or attempted to snap my neck with FSH. IMO & the way my body feels, ctb'ing will be much easier for me than your typically 42 yr old.
TBH I haven't got time to get into a pointless internet arguement. So I'll let ppl read into all of this what they want.
willitpass
Don’t try to offer me help, I’ve tried everything
- Mar 10, 2020
- 2,941
I also have had low vitamin D since I was a child and have low phosphorus. My bones hurt all the time too. That does not equate to it being easier to CTB. I'm very much aware of how it feels to be young and feel like my body is 90 years older, but that is a feeling, not a medical fact. Telling it like it is some secret to dying easier is dangerous misinformation.
If the density of my bones or yours when you had low vitimin D were measured against that of a "normal" subject (with adquete vitimin D levels). It would be "medical fact" that they are weaker. This site stated another medical fact in that;
https://www.kidney.org/atoz/content/phosphorus#what-phosphorus
That is the first result of a quick 30 sec search. I'm sure I could find more supporting this. I don't think it is controversial to believe that if a 42 yr & a 90 yr old jumped off the same spot off the GGB in San Fran. The 90yr old is the one less likely to be walking away. Same with their necks snapping during FSH. Like I said I feel like a 90 yr old with my bones. So I respectfully disagree it is misinfo. Like I said, ppl can believe what they want on this. But if one is truly serious about ctb'ing as I am. One will do whatever to ensure success in their final journey.
DEATH IS FREEDOM
Death is the solution to unsolvable problems.
- Sep 13, 2023
- 607
The survival instinct is like a monster and the death process feels even more frightening. But if the pain is unbearable, the survival instinct should not be a problem.
Dying naturally from illness - cause blood poisoning that is fatal?
Dying naturally from illness - cause blood poisoning that is fatal?
theboy
Illuminated
- Jul 15, 2022
- 3,020
Not guaranteed but it increases changes for a natural ctb: alcohol and heavy eating of fast foods and spoiled food like bad quality meat, eggs etc, in addition to heavily smoking cigarettes and punishing the body all the time. This may or may not give diseases but it most likely would damage organs enough slowly to the point where you just ctb
I know you're not seriously suggesting this as a method, but there are reports of people trying to get infected as a means of suicide:
Aside from the fact that it can take a decade or more to become life-threatening, with modern standards of care it's virtually impossible to get to end stage illness without being noticed and treated.
I eat like crap, smoke like a chimney and drink like a fish. It's still going to take a looooong time to pass from a lifestyle like that.
willitpass
Don’t try to offer me help, I’ve tried everything
- Mar 10, 2020
- 2,941
If only treating yourself like shit was a CTB method, I would have been gone years ago. An eating disorder and I take ibuprofen, aspirin, and Tylenol like candy every day. I hardly go outside and exercise, I'm considering getting into vaping. The only bad thing I don't do to myself is drink and that's only because I despise the taste. It would be nice if you could just abuse yourself and go out from it wouldn't it.
One of my favourite things to do is imagine different ways I could bring about my own death. So, yeah obviously a rabid fox is the golden goose but don't rule out something neat like clostridium perfringens or botulinum. Both of those are available basically everywhere; perfringens was the target of my most recent foray but basically, you take some soil and then you do "I forgot the term for this" where you mix a certain amount of your sample into 1L of water, then take 100mL of that and mix into 1L of water and then repeat and then you use that diluted product to inoculate your substrate, which could be agar which you purchase or you could mix some beef stock into gelatin and let that set. After you've done that, you need to keep them at roughly body temperature as you want to encourage species which will be able to infect your body, hopefully c. perfringens.
By the way, it's because I was imagining giving myself gas gangrene and you don't want to die from gas gangrene, it is an excruciatingly painful and horrible, hallucinate from the pain kind of way to go. So don't give yourself clostridium perfringens but the process of breeding bacterial strains is pretty much the same with a few variations. Pick a pathogen and make sure you know which conditions you need for the pathogens you want to produce. Theoretically, you could be shooting for c. botulinum and then you can try to produce the [fairly rare] conditions under which it will generate botox, and then you could just botox yourself! I'm not sure how you'd botox yourself to death but it's like the most toxic substance isn't it; presumably one can use it to CTB.
Anyway IIRC both are anaerobic--it would make sense to me if all clostridiums [clostridia?] are anaerobic but I'm not a scientist I'm just a suicidal daydreamer. So, you gather up a bunch of rusty nails and seal the plates into a warmed environment with the rusty nails, and not a lot of head space because the less air the better. The rust on the nails pulls the oxygen out of the air and voila you have an anaerobic container held at body temperature with hopefully a few individuals of clostridium growing on there. After a while you open up your containers and check the colonies. Bacteria form colonies.
If using homemade agar you're doing oldschool science without proper references [no doubt the colonies form at different speeds depending on the qualities of the substrate, which may affect their appearance], but let's be hopeful and you see something that looks vaguely like a clostridium colony--now you sample that colony and dilute it the same way you did with the soil sample, and you grow several plates from samples of that colony.
All of the sudden, we are cooking with gas and you have a backyard clostridium farm. They're seriously dangerous little microbes.
I think ultimately it's a horribly impractical and painful way to go except maybe by generating botulinum toxin but still. Daydreams.
Have a nice day.
There's a concept in psychology of a "slow suicide", basically continuous, self-destructive choices which eventually lead someone to die. My father did this in a sense with his alcoholism. You can drink or drug yourself to a point of organ failure, though I will tell you from a firsthand view it is a slow and painful way to go.
If I had the money I'd drink myself to death but it's really really expensive when it gets up there because you can't really work. My max was 40oz each work day plus whatever beer I never counted, and a 66 each weekend day including Sunday because y'know.
Anyway, I have some liver damage in my 30s and it suggests that I could have CTB but like you go insane also, so it would be hard to maintain resolve. There is NO WAY I could be panhandling that much. At that stage I was hallucinating while sober. An income to support the addiction is the obstacle.
I think 40s or 50s is what you can expect from extreme alcohol or cocaine addiction, and opioids are like any age but even harder to stay on because of cost and destruction of lifestyle. Have to be rock star rich to die that way.
Absolutely!
Man I am loving this thread.
It's a huge part of my life with Borderline Personality Disorder; part of the diagnosis is a high level of risk-taking behaviours. And those behaviours come out when I am most suicidal. It's a form of self harm.
It also overlaps with plenty of other conditions--I'm just mentioning myself because I'm adding a specific perspective but plenty of other types of people might experience the same thing.
Last edited:
Ash
What dreams may come?
- Oct 4, 2021
- 1,758
My father was an alcoholic. There's at least one long term alcoholic on my street and many drug addicts in the area. Addiction takes years and has to be up there as one of the more unpleasant, painful, degrading and expensive methods.
