• Hey Guest,

    We wanted to share a quick update with the community.

    Our public expense ledger is now live, allowing anyone to see how donations are used to support the ongoing operation of the site.

    👉 View the ledger here

    Over the past year, increased regulatory pressure in multiple regions like UK OFCOM and Australia's eSafety has led to higher operational costs, including infrastructure, security, and the need to work with more specialized service providers to keep the site online and stable.

    If you value the community and would like to help support its continued operation, donations are greatly appreciated. If you wish to donate via Bank Transfer or other options, please open a ticket.

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC):
    Ethereum (ETH):
    Monero (XMR):
nowherelilies

nowherelilies

why couldn't it be me?
Jun 30, 2025
51
struggling and i feel bad but i literally see no point in eating anymore since my deadline is near anyways. like, i'm going to die anyway so why even bother do these things? i haven't eaten a full meal in two days and my stomach's hurting but i can't do anything except lay down in bed. has anyone here felt this way too upon nearing their planned ctb date?
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Praestat_Mori
ChainedCrow

ChainedCrow

The crow of hopelessness and despair
Jun 21, 2025
382
first and foremost im so sorry that u have to ctb to feel the relieve from this horrible life u need. I never had a date of ctb so i cant give any advice than just living to the date u planned and not making yourself feel even more pain than u are already in i can only guess that u choose the date and method for a reason and dying before that sounds really uncomfortable. I hope everything that u hope comes after death becomes real and good luck. Much love 🤗
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: nowherelilies
A

Angel999

Wanting to die for 12 years
Jul 19, 2024
62
Yeah I think this is rather typical. Tho I don't have a set date in stone now I have circumstances that can force me to attempt everyday. It's hard to get energy or do anything under such circumstances.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: nowherelilies
nowherelilies

nowherelilies

why couldn't it be me?
Jun 30, 2025
51
Yeah I think this is rather typical. Tho I don't have a set date in stone now I have circumstances that can force me to attempt everyday. It's hard to get energy or do anything under such circumstances.
i think it's the lack of energy too in my part. everything feels like it's too much work and i literally don't want to put any effort in even taking care of myself anymore.
first and foremost im so sorry that u have to ctb to feel the relieve from this horrible life u need. I never had a date of ctb so i cant give any advice than just living to the date u planned and not making yourself feel even more pain than u are already in i can only guess that u choose the date and method for a reason and dying before that sounds really uncomfortable. I hope everything that u hope comes after death becomes real and good luck. Much love 🤗
i think i'll try to do the bare minimum just to get myself until my end date. i hope everything works out well for you too. thank you for being kind to me.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: ChainedCrow