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whatevs

whatevs

Mining for copium in the weirdest places.
Jan 15, 2022
2,915
Hmmm, I have to say yes. I've been miserable for a long time now. "It" started in my teens, so thats around 18 years of misery and not really getting much out of existence or giving others something they actually want (what is known as being productive).

I don't really believe in nothingness so if I kill myself I expect a part of me to be transferred somewhere else. Offtopic but comes with the terrain.
 
Nights

Nights

Student
Apr 27, 2023
164
Yes, i lived for a long time, i should've have been dead when i was 13 or 11, but i couldn't manage to suicide at that time because i didn't had resources or even knew where to buy a rope
 
stilhavinightmares

stilhavinightmares

Warlock
Oct 13, 2022
700
YES. 5 years ago on this day I was in the ICU from a CTB attempt and I wish so badly that I wasn't found. I feel like I'm on borrowed time that I don't even want.
 
I

inpursuitofpeace

Member
Jan 4, 2023
51
Yup. Every day (and birthday) I'm astonished that I've lived this long. I thought I would've died a looooong time ago.
 
CentreMid

CentreMid

Sorry
Aug 23, 2018
478
Absolutely. I wasn't supposed to live past high school yet here I am, still rotting away, and things are only getting worse. I want out.
 
The anhedonic one

The anhedonic one

Dead inside
May 20, 2023
1,071
Hmmm, I have to say yes. I've been miserable for a long time now. "It" started in my teens, so thats around 18 years of misery and not really getting much out of existence or giving others something they actually want (what is known as being productive).

I don't really believe in nothingness so if I kill myself I expect a part of me to be transferred somewhere else. Offtopic but comes with the terrain.
I believe there is a part of us that survives death.
I believe that everything is physical in reality, as opposed to matter and spirit being 2 separate things
I think consciousness is comprised of subatomic particles.
 
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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,564
Yes, I'm alive much longer than I should be. I oftenly look back to 2019 and regret not having CTB'd sooner to save myself all the shitshow of the last few years. While there are temporary reprieves, it is never sufficient to warrant living long enough to suffer immensely at times. I have been wishing to go even before I learned of SaSu's existence.
 
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animetal

animetal

a confession, a cadaver
May 8, 2023
81
I honestly never thought I would make it to 20, I'm proud of myself for making it this far in life as I had a lot of hope for the future but from the day I turned 20 to now things have gone downhill I don't even think I'll make it to 21 and I feel this is my fate
 
hana0

hana0

Member
May 27, 2023
29
I think so. I never thought I'll live past 18, but I did somehow. Since then I've been feeling more and more lost and anxious with each year passing. I thought maybe when I finish high school things will get better but they've become even harder. I'm 23 now, it's been 10 years since my depression started, I don't know what to do with myself. The thought of having to live another 50-60 years terrifies me. Though there were some nice things that happened during the last few years, they weren't worth the daily pain and anxiety
 
Shoya

Shoya

Member
May 27, 2023
18
I also feel same. Everyday goes too long and worse.I just hate myself.Sometimes I think why was I born?But I am stuck in a situation where I can hardly can do ctb.
 
dreamist

dreamist

sigh
May 27, 2023
17
Yes. Sometimes I'd even come with scenarios where I'd die, like accidentally. Perhaps in a car crash or something.
 
H

Hunter2005

Student
Apr 15, 2023
145
Yeah I've been here too long, in fact I think I should have died when I was a teenager but somehow I've survived. I had many near death experience over the years too.
 
Valky

Valky

Petulant Child
Apr 4, 2023
1,297
Yes. I have had enough already, thank you.
Sadly, I can't go so I have nothing left but to try and be hopeful and look forward to the future, tho, I really wish to end my life when getting old. I don't wanna be some crippled old lady who can't move by herself and pees in her pants. Since I can't leave now, at least let me go when I am old anyways :/
 
DeathSleep

DeathSleep

Bang... Silence
May 25, 2023
153
Yes. I'm surprised I made it this long.
 
deathLiberation

deathLiberation

Student
Oct 31, 2021
161
I actually dont have childhood memories before a specific time on pre-school. It´s like i was born into that moment. Some soul transfer...
I have lived far too long for sure.
 

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