
FuneralCry
She wished that she never existed...
- Sep 24, 2020
- 30,447
That is how I feel all the time, like I’ve been trapped here for far too long, I hate how I’ve managed to exist for over 2 decades, it’s such a long time and at 22 years I feel so old. It’s horrific the thought of potentially being trapped here for decades longer which will happen if somehow I don’t manage to leave, existing truly is something so terrible, unnecessary and it’s true that existing will only get worse as time goes on. But I just think it’s such a punishment having the ability to exist here where all that we are intended for is suffering and decay. Existing is just a process of slowly dying which of course is something so repulsive and undesirable, I could never see any benefit to being trapped in the prison that is consciousness enduring such a futile and empty existence. This world is such a harmful, dangerous place that to me would be absurd to wish to exist in, it’s terrifying how rock bottom could never exist, the tragedy lies in how much endless suffering exists.
But it’s true that the thought of being gone for all eternity with everything finally being forgotten about is the only comfort for me, existing could never be for me at all, ideally this existence never should have happened, as my existence was only an unnecessary disturbance in what was otherwise the perfect state of not-being. Even one second spent here is one second too long.
But it’s true that the thought of being gone for all eternity with everything finally being forgotten about is the only comfort for me, existing could never be for me at all, ideally this existence never should have happened, as my existence was only an unnecessary disturbance in what was otherwise the perfect state of not-being. Even one second spent here is one second too long.