Venting Do you feel like you are wasting your life away?

[Darkhaven]

I do. I can't stop thinking on how my life is being wasted away and there is not much i can do about it.
I'm 22 years old and i look around me and all i see is people of my age living relatively happy lives: enjoying what they are studying, having a nice group of friends they enjoy being with, having someone they love and share their life; travel either inside the country or throughout the world and etc.
On the other hand here i am: almost completely alone, depressed, full of doubts about my future, always stuck in my bedroom living the same boring life day after day, after day, after day waiting for it to end.
Sometimes i wish i was a normal guy and could actually have some fun and happines with life.
And what about you? Do you too feel or felt bad that your time is passing and you are not having a life worth living? Or is it completely irrelevant to you?

 

[Alchemist]

My whole life is a waste, so no matter what I do that's not going to change.

 

[Pilum Muralis]

Being unable to work, and basically being supported by my husband just really messes with me. I don't have children, as well, and I'm in my 40s. Society has hammered it in our heads that if you aren't married, with kids, and a successful career by your 40s, why even exist? So meeting new people always seem to go like this:

Woman: hi! So nice to meet you.
Me: (feign interest) Wow, happy to meet you, too!
Woman: So, have any children?
Me: No, but I have dogs.
Woman: oh isn't that funny.
Me:.....
Woman:......
Me:......
Woman: Um, so what do you do for a living?
Me: I don't work. Health issues.
Woman: Well aren't you lucky! I'd love to be able to sit at home all day!
Me:.......
Woman: well I'd better go see how my crotch goblins are doing, pleasure meeting you!
Me: (thinking internally) bish, I have a level 13 Drow Warlock.

I'm sick of my worth at my age determined by society standards. I feel crappy enough knowing I'm a waste of space, I don't need some stranger to reinforce it. It's exhausting. I get it. Kids and jobs are what normal people have in common, but just the fact that after I tell them my situation, they treat me like I'm a leper. Over the years, I've turned into quite the bitter bitch. Probably why I have no friends.

Bah, I'm just cranky again.

 

[blanketyblk]

Being unable to work, and basically being supported by my husband just really messes with me. I don't have children, as well, and I'm in my 40s. Society has hammered it in our heads that if you aren't married, with kids, and a successful career by your 40s, why even exist? So meeting new people always seem to go like this:

Woman: hi! So nice to meet you.
Me: (feign interest) Wow, happy to meet you, too!
Woman: So, have any children?
Me: No, but I have dogs.
Woman: oh isn't that funny.
Me:.....
Woman:......
Me:......
Woman: Um, so what do you do for a living?
Me: I don't work. Health issues.
Woman: Well aren't you lucky! I'd love to be able to sit at home all day!
Me:.......
Woman: well I'd better go see how my crotch goblins are doing, pleasure meeting you!
Me: (thinking internally) bish, I have a level 13 Drow Warlock.

God yes. i know that feeling. I'm 43 and can't have children due to cancer. *fu!! cancer btw* and i get that all the time at work. "

Them : oh so what school do your children go to..."
Me : "I can't have kids"
Them "Oh thats to bad. your really missing out" and they leave with a sad look on there face.

Literately it seems that all a women are good for is for pushing out babies. if you can't do that.. then well you have failed at life..
society just doesn't know how to treat women who don't/can't have children...

There is an excellent subreddit area for people like us called

Reddit - Dive into anything

www.reddit.com

i sometimes vent on there about my experiences at work.

 

[Grey-zone]

This is pretty much how I've felt my entire "adult" life. I'm 28 now, I'm stuck, and don't have the bravery, social skills, or past experience to escape the person I became. I don't even know what escape means, except that I felt absolutely trapped as a NEET, and now as a working adult this year. From one cage to another, I guess. After all this time my mind remains a total blank, which does not inspire me for the future. I don't want or need more of the same.
As for being childfree, I've told my gf there is no way in hell that I will ever become a parent. Financially it's insane, and what would be worse is introducing another life into the world. I know I would make a terrible parent, because I don't even enjoy being around myself. Once I realized how deeply my own parents effed up, I made a vow not to repeat the same mistake of procreation.
But yes, daily life is a largely endless repetition of tedium--at best with certain moments of small enjoyment (eating, shitting, jacking it, or sleeping, which is supposed to be like death).
Looking around me at work and on the streets I usually feel like the only one to live this way, with the exception of the homeless--whom I have a lot more respect for now.

 

[Darkhaven]

I realise that in the end it doesn't really matter much because even those who are enjoying life to the fullest will end up in the same place as all of us. This gives me comfort. But while this may be true and the way you lead your life is ultimately completely irrelevant because we are all going to die, the truth is in the meantime, while we are still here, the pain and sometimes despair of being completely isolated, without ties with anyone from outside your household and the inexistence of a purpose in life can make it a burden to painful to bear.
Life expectancies keep increasing and so increases the time we must feign our interest in this life that treats so unfairly, specially when we compare ourselves with those around us.

 

[Pilum Muralis]

God yes. i know that feeling. I'm 43 and can't have children due to cancer. *fu!! cancer btw* and i get that all the time at work. "

Them : oh so what school do your children go to..."
Me : "I can't have kids"
Them "Oh thats to bad. your really missing out" and they leave with a sad look on there face.

Literately it seems that all a women are good for is for pushing out babies. if you can't do that.. then well you have failed at life..
society just doesn't know how to treat women who don't/can't have children...

There is an excellent subreddit area for people like us called

Reddit - Dive into anything

www.reddit.com

i sometimes vent on there about my experiences at work.

Those kind of women just seem to suddenly feel superior to you when you say you have no children. Like big deal, you got laid and mistakes were made. Bravo. You are the shining star amongst the billions of other women in the world who do it daily. Meanwhile, your little hobgoblin is shoving a lego up his nose. Don't get me wrong, I don't think all women are like this, but it seems the majority of the ones I've met are. And don't get me started on the endless Facebook picture sharing of their brat..my cousin is like that. She actually unfriended me after I started copying her photo shoots of her kids with our dogs and posting them with her captions. Aw well. /shrug.

 

[Empty Smile]

I've been wasting my life away for the last 49 years, taking up oxygen that someone else could be using.

Hopefully that will be ending soon. I'm working on scheduling my date with the bus driver.

 

[Darkhaven]

Those kind of women just seem to suddenly feel superior to you when you say you have no children. Like big deal, you got laid and mistakes were made. Bravo. You are the shining star amongst the billions of other women in the world who do it daily. Meanwhile, your little hobgoblin is shoving a lego up his nose. Don't get me wrong, I don't think all women are like this, but it seems the majority of the ones I've met are. And don't get me started on the endless Facebook picture sharing of their brat..my cousin is like that. She actually unfriended me after I started copying her photo shoots with our dogs and posting them with her captions. Aw well. /shrug.

I have close family members that immediatly label anyone whose at least 30 and childless as "a selfish person". Lmao.
Long story short: if you have no kids and you re an adult then you are a greedy fuck that isn't willing to sacrifice your personal projects and objectives in order to expand your family.
It's worse if its a woman, which doesn't surprise me given the misoginist social background in where they were born and raised.
They still have hopes that i will become a father one day. Hahaha. They are very naive. But i honestly find it difficult to think that deep down they haven't foresaw that i'm a lost cause.
Not that they care too much, i'm their grandson but i m also the "black sheep" of the family, so...

 

[not_a_robot]

Nah. I look around and I see a bunch of little Sisyphi, rolling millions of their little rocks. Really believing they are getting somewhere. I know how the rocks work. I sit my ass down with a smoke. I know the rock will roll down and crush me, so what?. To crush me is the rock's purpose. To be crushed by it is mine. I'm just having smoke, watching, waiting. None of them are free from the futility. They just think they are.
hail Sisyphus, patron saint of all that does not matter.

 

[TimeToDie]

My life has been a total waste. I think I set the record for longest time out of school without employment -- 24 years! I too have a serious problem with a world where a person is defined by what they do. Such as "Hi, I'm Jennifer and I'm a nurse." WTF and I supposed to say? "Hi, I'm [fill in name] and I don't have a socially acceptable response." A couple years back I decided I was old enough to say I'm retired. Retired actually is possible. Just recently on an investment forum I frequent I saw a guy who was retired at 40. He asked what do other retired folks do since he was totally lost now that he was no longer hanging out with colleagues at work. Seems employment still has social value even if you have $10 million and can afford to not work.

 

[okkkk]

Reading these posts scare the shit out of me. Ever since I was a kid I wanted to make some kind of artistic contribution to society. Right now I have 0 friends, Struggling in college and a completely boring and sad life. So far away from any kind of life I want to live. Im so scared about getting older and continuing this trend. Ive developed horrible anxiety around people and I sweat profusely, its as embarrassing and pathetic as you are imagining. I couldnt bear being over the hump and just as alone and unfulfilled as I am now. I would put a hole in my forehead.

 

[Darkhaven]

Reading these posts scare the shit out of me. Ever since I was a kid I wanted to make some kind of artistic contribution to society. Right now I have 0 friends, Struggling in college and a completely boring and sad life. So far away from any kind of life I want to live. Im so scared about getting older and continuing this trend. Ive developed horrible anxiety around people and I sweat profusely, its as embarrassing and pathetic as you are imagining. I couldnt bear being over the hump and just as alone and unfulfilled as I am now. I would put a hole in my forehead.

My situation is very similar to yours.
My crippling anxiety is intolerable. I just can't stop worrying about the future and my problems.
It's impossible to be happy this way.

 

[not_a_robot]

My life has been a total waste. I think I set the record for longest time out of school without employment -- 24 years! I too have a serious problem with a world where a person is defined by what they do. Such as "Hi, I'm Jennifer and I'm a nurse." WTF and I supposed to say? "Hi, I'm [fill in name] and I don't have a socially acceptable response." A couple years back I decided I was old enough to say I'm retired. Retired actually is possible. Just recently on an investment forum I frequent I saw a guy who was retired at 40. He asked what do other retired folks do since he was totally lost now that he was no longer hanging out with colleagues at work. Seems employment still has social value even if you have $10 million and can afford to not work.

Anyone with that much dough who can't figure out how to enjoy themself should definitely ctb. Go build wells in Africa if the conscience won't be quiet. Go buy food for women in Nigeria so desperately starving that they feed their babies dirt cookies. I bet they'd love some damn Oreos.

 

[Darkhaven]

Anyone with that much dough who can't figure out how to enjoy themself should definitely ctb. Go build wells in Africa if the conscience won't be quiet. Go buy food for women in Nigeria so desperately starving that they feed their babies dirt cookies. I bet they'd love some damn Oreos.

Or indulge yourself in lavish luxuries if that makes you happy, i know i would! =)

 

[FatherDeath]

Yup all the time i feel this way, saving up constantly but somthing always coming up draining your funds everything's so expensive nowadays it almost doesn't even feel worth it I used to put in 70 hours every pay check only to see 400$ it's almost impossible to live in this day and age

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I do. I can't stop thinking on how my life is being wasted away and there is not much i can do about it.
I'm 22 years old and i look around me and all i see is people of my age living relatively happy lives: enjoying what they are studying, having a nice group of friends they enjoy being with, having someone they love and share their life; travel either inside the country or throughout the world and etc.
On the other hand here i am: almost completely alone, depressed, full of doubts about my future, always stuck in my bedroom living the same boring life day after day, after day, after day waiting for it to end.
Sometimes i wish i was a normal guy and could actually have some fun and happines with life.
And what about you? Do you too feel or felt bad that your time is passing and you are not having a life worth living? Or is it completely irrelevant to you?

I feel the same as you. My entire life has been a waste. Can't wait until I die. They can throw my body in a dumpster and haul me away.

My whole life is a waste, so no matter what I do that's not going to change.

SAME !!!

God yes. i know that feeling. I'm 43 and can't have children due to cancer. *fu!! cancer btw* and i get that all the time at work. "

Them : oh so what school do your children go to..."
Me : "I can't have kids"
Them "Oh thats to bad. your really missing out" and they leave with a sad look on there face.

Literately it seems that all a women are good for is for pushing out babies. if you can't do that.. then well you have failed at life..
society just doesn't know how to treat women who don't/can't have children...

There is an excellent subreddit area for people like us called

Reddit - Dive into anything

www.reddit.com

i sometimes vent on there about my experiences at work.

Sorry to hear about your cancer. I'm also sorry that you can't have kids … If you wanted them.
I don't want kids … "Child Free & Happy" … well not really happy, but happy I don't have kids. I would be even more miserable than I am now.
I wouldn't want to bring more lifeforms into this shitty planet.

Those kind of women just seem to suddenly feel superior to you when you say you have no children. Like big deal, you got laid and mistakes were made. Bravo. You are the shining star amongst the billions of other women in the world who do it daily. Meanwhile, your little hobgoblin is shoving a lego up his nose. Don't get me wrong, I don't think all women are like this, but it seems the majority of the ones I've met are. And don't get me started on the endless Facebook picture sharing of their brat..my cousin is like that. She actually unfriended me after I started copying her photo shoots with our dogs and posting them with her captions. Aw well. /shrug.

Like big deal, you got laid and mistakes were made.
You are the shining star amongst the billions of other women in the world who do it daily.
Meanwhile, your little hobgoblin is shoving a lego up his nose.
And don't get me started on the endless Facebook picture sharing of their brat..my cousin is like that. She actually unfriended me after I started copying her photo shoots with our dogs and posting them with her captions. Aw well. /shrug.

That was an AWESOME post !!! I wish there was a clapping emoji on here.

 

[Dead Horse]

I have spent the majority of the last six years in front of a computer, and even before that my life wasn't great. I am 26 now, and even if I could wake up tomorrow with all my problems solved, I would still have wasted the "best" years of my life doing absolutely nothing.

I haven't had any huge problems to blame, either. It's mostly my own doing, really. I have AvPD and depression, but I haven't done much to battle them tbh, and now I feel it's too late.

 

[WinterIsComing]

Being unable to work, and basically being supported by my husband just really messes with me. I don't have children, as well, and I'm in my 40s. Society has hammered it in our heads that if you aren't married, with kids, and a successful career by your 40s, why even exist? So meeting new people always seem to go like this:

Woman: hi! So nice to meet you.
Me: (feign interest) Wow, happy to meet you, too!
Woman: So, have any children?
Me: No, but I have dogs.
Woman: oh isn't that funny.
Me:.....
Woman:......
Me:......
Woman: Um, so what do you do for a living?
Me: I don't work. Health issues.
Woman: Well aren't you lucky! I'd love to be able to sit at home all day!
Me:.......
Woman: well I'd better go see how my crotch goblins are doing, pleasure meeting you!
Me: (thinking internally) bish, I have a level 13 Drow Warlock.

I'm sick of my worth at my age determined by society standards. I feel crappy enough knowing I'm a waste of space, I don't need some stranger to reinforce it. It's exhausting. I get it. Kids and jobs are what normal people have in common, but just the fact that after I tell them my situation, they treat me like I'm a leper. Over the years, I've turned into quite the bitter bitch. Probably why I have no friends.

Bah, I'm just cranky again.

Is like dunno they are expecting you to be some kind of clown to entertain them or expect you are a secret millionaire and if not they cut you off?

Morons

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I have close family members that immediatly label anyone whose at least 30 and childless as "a selfish person". Lmao.
Long story short: if you have no kids and you re an adult then you are a greedy fuck that isn't willing to sacrifice your personal projects and objectives in order to expand your family.
It's worse if its a woman, which doesn't surprise me given the misoginist social background in where they were born and raised.
They still have hopes that i will become a father one day. Hahaha. They are very naive. But i honestly find it difficult to think that deep down they haven't foresaw that i'm a lost cause.
Not that they care too much, i'm their grandson but i m also the "black sheep" of the family, so...

Fuck society and what they think. I can't wait to CTB so I don't have to listen to all the bullshit.
Not everyone needs to have kids. This planet is overcrowded and eventually something will happen to reduce the masses. Hope I'm long gone.
It's a terrible thing to have "Goals" and want something more. (Assholes)
If I were smart I would have had a good career and definitely not had kids. Either way … I don't want them.

 

[Donewith_]

yes, I am completely lost. I have no idea why i am still existing.
I am miserable.. and i am making people around me feel miserable too because of me.
I have seen that people were very happy when i was away.. and people are depressed coz of me.
i was told this 'i may get depressed like this because of you and i might go insane, and unexpected things might happen too'
and still.. here i am brushing things off and still existing (for what..IDK).

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

Yes, but i am at the moment trying to change that ...i may fail and end up back to square one, but i am willing to try give it a go....

 

[not_a_robot]

Or indulge yourself in lavish luxuries if that makes you happy, i know i would! =)

drugs, drugs and more drugs. I'm not proud.

 

[RM5998]

I do... I know that it shouldn't matter, but a part of me wants to leave a mark on the fabric of spacetime, so that even if people are gone, the universe cannot erase the fact that I was here. I want to not have to be afraid of being in the void and realizing that it's just like the world I left - cold, dark and empty. I've philosophically understood that my life is a void already, I just can't bring myself to accept the emotional fallout.

I'm afraid of dying and finding out that there is a void that awaits you, but that you're not allowed to stop being when you're in it. I'm afraid of that nothingness enveloping me and becoming the entirety of my existence. And I'm afraid that my waking life is pretty much the same as that, despite all the things in it.

Sorry for the rambling nonsensiscal post. It seems that all the editing in the world can't put my thoughts on this into a coherent form.

 

[not_a_robot]

I do... I know that it shouldn't matter, but a part of me wants to leave a mark on the fabric of spacetime, so that even if people are gone, the universe cannot erase the fact that I was here. I want to not have to be afraid of being in the void and realizing that it's just like the world I left - cold, dark and empty. I've philosophically understood that my life is a void already, I just can't bring myself to accept the emotional fallout.

I'm afraid of dying and finding out that there is a void that awaits you, but that you're not allowed to stop being when you're in it. I'm afraid of that nothingness enveloping me and becoming the entirety of my existence. And I'm afraid that my waking life is pretty much the same as that, despite all the things in it.

Sorry for the rambling nonsensiscal post. It seems that all the editing in the world can't put my thoughts on this into a coherent form.

I want this tiny thing. And a big empty space to surround it.

Amazon sells DIY tiny-home kits that take only 2 days to build

Tiny houses have cropped up in popularity as housing prices are rising and minimalistic downsizing is becoming more trendy.

amp.businessinsider.com

 

[JMB]

Well, i did actually manage to gain some sense of purpose for a time through my job because its involves helping other people and i'm good at it. But there isn't anything else of value in my life, and i'm slowly loosing the mental endurance to continue the job. Once it is gone my life will no longer be of use.

 

[RM5998]

I want this tiny thing. And a big empty space to surround it.

Amazon sells DIY tiny-home kits that take only 2 days to build

Tiny houses have cropped up in popularity as housing prices are rising and minimalistic downsizing is becoming more trendy.

amp.businessinsider.com

Well, I'm thinking that investing in the bigger stuff just to have space for a generator isn't a bad idea. You don't really need gas to cook, induction cooktops are often good enough. I'm guessing you'd need something around 40-50k to be fully self-sufficient, apart from regularly having to travel for food.

Of course, there's always the option of getting a pizza delivery. I'd spend most of my money on a huge gaming rig.

Not that any of that would cure the need for meaning, but it would, for a few years, be an effective distraction.

 

[not_a_robot]

Well, I'm thinking that investing in the bigger stuff just to have space for a generator isn't a bad idea. You don't really need gas to cook, induction cooktops are often good enough. I'm guessing you'd need something around 40-50k to be fully self-sufficient, apart from regularly having to travel for food.

Of course, there's always the option of getting a pizza delivery. I'd spend most of my money on a huge gaming rig.

Not that any of that would cure the need for meaning, but it would, for a few years, be an effective distraction.

I think I could manage with solar, I rarely cook more than to boil water but it would cost more to build with solar.
lol if I had to power things by pedalling/jogging I'd be so healthy I'd live forever...

 

[Darkhaven]

Yes, but i am at the moment trying to change that ...i may fail and end up back to square one, but i am willing to try give it a go....

I sincerely hope that you suceed in making your life better!

I do... I know that it shouldn't matter, but a part of me wants to leave a mark on the fabric of spacetime, so that even if people are gone, the universe cannot erase the fact that I was here. I want to not have to be afraid of being in the void and realizing that it's just like the world I left - cold, dark and empty. I've philosophically understood that my life is a void already, I just can't bring myself to accept the emotional fallout.

I'm afraid of dying and finding out that there is a void that awaits you, but that you're not allowed to stop being when you're in it. I'm afraid of that nothingness enveloping me and becoming the entirety of my existence. And I'm afraid that my waking life is pretty much the same as that, despite all the things in it.

Sorry for the rambling nonsensiscal post. It seems that all the editing in the world can't put my thoughts on this into a coherent form.

Yeah i also have these kind of fears.
But i tend to be able to forget them for the most part because i already have all these things that worry me while i am still alive. Were I to start picturing more problems after death, i think i would collapse...
I like to believe in the theory of soul sleeping.
You know death is like taking an infinite nap. You just lose consciousness forever.
If it ends up not being like that, oh well at least i will stop being a part of this miserable, cruel and horrible world.

 

[RM5998]

I think I could manage with solar, I rarely cook more than to boil water but it would cost more to build with solar.
lol if I had to power things by pedalling/jogging I'd be so healthy I'd live forever...

I can see that working... But only if you're in the Middle East. Not much rain, but the water supply system is excellent. Also, you need to have a bathroom. Plumbing for that is a pain in the ass.

I'd prefer cities. I like walking down city streets at night. The neon lights make them have a sort of... Life. It's eerily beautiful. I like the idea of being the only thing awake in a place that should be teeming with people.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand steering back on topic before we get carried away... That kind of life would only work if you've made your peace with separating from society, for the most part. Personally, I can't really do that. I need some form of interpersonal contact... I don't like being alone with myself.