Do you feel joy in others mourning you?

[99o9898iijh7]

Hello, I'm new to the forum :) you can call me 99, I hope I can find people and ideas here

Going back to my curiosity: does anyone feel happy about family/friends mourning you after CTB?
This thought always came up to me whenever I thought about CTB, I feel somewhat relief and joy knowing I can bring in some way the same pain I live to the people around me. Maybe it's a way of having revenge, who knows.
I don't think people understand how you feel, they often try but words get lost and any discussion regarding depression/suicidal thoughts seem to go nowhere. In my personal experience I've always had mental health discussions end up in me feeling worse and my problems becoming less valid (?).

I'll keep myself short since it's late and I'm not in my most lucid state of mind to be able to write coherently, but I'd love to hear everyone's thoughts :)
Cheers

 

[CW36]

Hi 99, welcome to a community that will listen to you. I understand your sentiments, but I believe that people who CTB are past the point of taking pleasure in such thoughts. Emotions fall by the wayside and in their place comes a nothingness and the simple satisfaction of knowing it's all over.

 

[Death is my goal]

no i don't

 

[Tionally]

I would be kind of happy that somebody mourns me but not because of revenge or something like that. I like knowing that someone cares about me and likes/loves me. The thought of someone being sad after I die makes me feel like my life mattered. If my death has an impact on them then that means that I was important to some degree in their life. Ultimately it won't matter since I won't be there to see it but it's nice thinking that people cared.

 

[Unattainable666]

No, as a matter of fact I am sure the people I work for will have a party. They have no heart and no conscience.

 

[NightshadeDreamer]

It would be nice to think I had a positive affect on others enough for them to be sad about my crossing the bridge. But also, I think once im at the point of CTB I'll be thinking about obtaining peace and tranquility more than my mark on others.

 

[suicidaleeyore]

No I feel very sad, in fact that thought is my main protective factor. Not wanting to hurt my loved ones especially my mum is the only reason I'm trying right now

 

[Wyldfyre4948]

Not really. If I'm gone then I'm sure people will have their regrets and be upset, but I'll be dead and it will no longer matter to me. They can be feel how they need to afterwards. I've done my best and tried as hard as I can for others.

 

[MidnightGloom]

I feel no joy at the thought of others mourning me, and I desperately hope that when I do go, I won't have a funeral or any of the sorts. I'd feel a lot of hatred for the people mourning me who pretend to understand me. I don't want to be remembered by those who didn't care at all about who I really was. But still, once I'm dead they're out of my life.

 

[WonderingSoul]

It would make me kinda happy, but mostly sad

 

[Chara]

Don't like to make others sad or angry so no. But almost everyone will be happy so...

 

[sulli]

eugh no. one thing that keeps me from CTB is waiting for my narcissist family member to die first so she can't put on a show at my funeral.

 

[𖣂𖣂𖣂.]

Hello, I'm new to the forum :) you can call me 99, I hope I can find people and ideas here

Going back to my curiosity: does anyone feel happy about family/friends mourning you after CTB?
This thought always came up to me whenever I thought about CTB, I feel somewhat relief and joy knowing I can bring in some way the same pain I live to the people around me. Maybe it's a way of having revenge, who knows.
I don't think people understand how you feel, they often try but words get lost and any discussion regarding depression/suicidal thoughts seem to go nowhere. In my personal experience I've always had mental health discussions end up in me feeling worse and my problems becoming less valid (?).

I'll keep myself short since it's late and I'm not in my most lucid state of mind to be able to write coherently, but I'd love to hear everyone's thoughts :)
Cheers

No they will forget about me

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think the people that would mourn would be the sensitive, caring people I REALLY don't want to upset by doing this.

People that bully us are likely to be narcissists and the like- I'm not so sure they feel emotions the same. I suspect they would actually be able to do some mental gymnastics to feel like our suicide would be some reflection of guilt over what we 'did' to them. (Even though we were a victim of them and- not the reverse.) Narcissists like to try and play the victim.

Depends on what kind of people you had in your life but these sorts of people seem to enjoy having power over people- they want them to react. It wouldn't surprise me if some of them would get a thrill out of it.

 

[atdeathsdoor]

Would be a buzz to tell....I've got days to live by God I hate this world

 

[groucho]

I'd rather the least amount of people know most of my friendships are quite weak so if I don't maintain them I suspect they'll naturally atrophy and they'll never hear of my passing.

 

[FuneralCry]

I just personally wish to be forgotten about like I never existed at all but anyway it could never really matter to me what happens here after I'm finally free from this world as I simply won't be aware of anything. I see my existence as being incredibly meaningless and insignificant.