NeedAnEscape
awaiting the end
- Oct 16, 2023
- 269
I know that grief is difficult to bear for loved ones. I often imagine scenarios where I can see those close to me coping with my passing. I know that people care about me, even if they don't support me in the ways I'd expect them to. As much as I hate myself, I still know that my death would leave a negative impact on others. Yet, simultaneously, life has left a negative impact on me. My suicidal thoughts are escalating, and I struggle to cope with most ordinary situations. My relationships are on the rocks, and their decline can be partially (even mostly at times) accredited to me. I am in a lot of pain, and I can only hope that my loved ones can find the empathy to understand my decision. No matter how much guilt I feel, the pain of existence hurts more.
