also the idea of living to be 90 years old is depressing
sserafim
brighter than the sun, that’s just me
- Sep 13, 2023
- 9,013
Yeah I do. I hate the fact that they were able to leave the world, and it wasn't me who got to do so. And ikr, I don't want to live that long. Having to live even another 2 is depressing for me. Anyways, more motivation for me to take matters into my own hands, right?
Yes! I am also taking matters into my own hands. I just wrote a post about the method I will use. My plan is full proof!
Stormy Raine
Quietly counting down the days, hours, minutes..
- Apr 7, 2023
- 372
I always have mixed emotions. I'm usually sad that it wasn't me! Then I usually think how sad and lonely that person must have felt in their last hours, minutes, etc. Finally, I usually make peace with it because I know they are finally done with suffering and left the way they wanted!
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 38,945
I envy those who are free from this cruel and meaningless existence so much, they are the only fortunate ones to me as now they are unable to suffer, they are at peace, I could never envy anyone who has the ability to suffer endlessly. It's terrifying the thought of reaching an age as old as 90, it disturbs me, I will always see eternal nothingness as being preferable no matter what, existence just causes harm.
アホペンギン
…
- Jul 10, 2023
- 2,199
I envy those who manage to die on their own terms while I suspect that I will be forced to endure this futile existence for another very long time, watching everyone I know from here ctb. I will be devastated, I can't live to experience their deaths I need to ctb as soon as possible but unfortunately I can't find any way of doing so any time soon.
Ico
Member
- Jun 27, 2023
- 40
In the best case scenario, I'm going to work until I die. 'Retirement' isn't an option. However, I'm desperately trying to support a family while grappling with chronic pain, Autistic burnout, depression, anxiety, and social phobia...with no feasible path forward.
Every day, I'm jolted awake at 2:30 - 3:00am by pain. Every day, I am enraged by the fact that I have to suffer through yet another day of navigating a sensory hellscape in order to serve as a cash-pinata for the capitalist machine.
Last December, I got a pretty severe case of Covid. When I fell asleep, I was pretty sure that was going to be it. Words cannot express how angry I was to wake up the next day. Even better, I had to work from home...and the brain fog never left. Just goes to show that no matter how horrible and painful life may be, it will ALWAYS get worse.
Every day, I'm jolted awake at 2:30 - 3:00am by pain. Every day, I am enraged by the fact that I have to suffer through yet another day of navigating a sensory hellscape in order to serve as a cash-pinata for the capitalist machine.
Last December, I got a pretty severe case of Covid. When I fell asleep, I was pretty sure that was going to be it. Words cannot express how angry I was to wake up the next day. Even better, I had to work from home...and the brain fog never left. Just goes to show that no matter how horrible and painful life may be, it will ALWAYS get worse.
Every day. I even wish to have people's cancers. I'd not treat if I was diagnosed.
sserafim
brighter than the sun, that’s just me
- Sep 13, 2023
- 9,013
I do get envious when people die. I sometimes wish I could shake someone's hand and get their terminal illness transferred so they could live and I could go.
Miss Anthropy
....and the sky turned black
- Dec 28, 2022
- 54
I also envy the dead. Its where we all get to put down all of the pain and sadness and horrific memories we all have. It will be such a relief. 
wanttodie
Enlightened
- Apr 19, 2018
- 1,805
trove1080p
Bread&Circuses til CTB
- Sep 15, 2023
- 12
I was watching this crime program and the wife killed her family as they slept. I thought "I wish I could die in my sleep like that and never know what hit me"
Meditation guide
Always was, is, and always shall be.
- Jun 22, 2020
- 6,089
Yes and I'm envious of crime victims even, as horrible as that sounds. People who wanted to live and were attacked and stabbed to death, I think they are lucky to get it over with. Sick sick sick. I know that's sick and yet when you want something so badly, ... and then I think if I want this so much why don't I do anything about it.
Yes, absolutely... I've been thinking if i were beside them then we did the same method for the same goal then I wouldn't be here enduring this suffering.. I too, will be at peace. I've been thinking of double suicide recently.
